Economic stimulus money

[judy]

What to do with the economic stimulus!

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
High-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the Money will go to China .
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to The Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India
.
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.
* If you buy a car, it will go to Japan.
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it Will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.


Instead, keep the money in America by:
1 spending it at yard sales, or
2 going to ball games, or
3 spending it on prostitutes, or
4 beer or
5 tattoos..

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the US.)

Now I'm going to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute

That I met at a yard sale and we're going to drink beer all day!-----------

And by the way Motels operate in the good old US of A.