Electronically challenged

[judy]

>I thought about the sixty million dollar a year business I ran with 1800
>employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos,
>pictures and communicated with Facebook and Twitter.
>
>I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their
>spouse, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in
>the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter
>with only 140 characters of space.
>
>That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree,
>Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and
>something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program
>within the texting world.
>
>My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything
>except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to
>live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
>
>The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost
>every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that
>in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it’s red] phone I am
>supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at
>Barnes and Nobles talking to my wife as everyone in the nearest 50 yards
>was glaring at me. Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it and
>got a little loud.
>
>I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside
>was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every
>10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating" You would think
>that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She
>would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next
>light. Then when I would make a right turn instead, it was not good.
>
>When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the
>cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy,
>the GSP lady, at least she loves me.
>
>To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless
>phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven’t
>figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around
>digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry
>baskets when the phone ring.
>
>The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every
>time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on
>something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check
>out just knocks me for a loop.
>
>I bought some of those cloth re-usable bags to avoid looking confused but
>never remember to take them in with me.
>
>Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just
>say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it‘s their turn to
>stare at me with a blank look.

[Janet]

Great post Judy....I love it!!!! That last line is a hoot.

[DianaB]

I loved the last line too!! How cute!!!