What's the right age?

[Emmsmom]

I don't know that there is a "right" age either. I do think that they should be helping out. Asking them to help clean or do their own laundry isn't going to hurt. Also asking them to help with a few bills wouldn't hurt either since they are both working. As much as you have been through with the both of them it is the least they can do. You have gone above and beyond for your DD on several occasions. So I don't think it would be harsh to ask for some help.