Aw oh!

judy · 06-09-2011, 05:28 AM

Sounds like your brother was being defensive when Rick spoke up for you. Personally, I think your brother needed to be told that you need a weekend off.

The tension there sounds like it is getting to be too much. Maybe it is time for a lunch alone with your brother, and a good serious talk. He and his wife do help some. Maybe they don't want to hear how much of a toll it is taking on you. People become reliant on anyone they can when they are faced with an unpleasant job.

Your younger brother sounds like he's not going to be helpful no matter what.

JJJ · 06-09-2011, 08:26 AM

He meant well and I'm sure he was very frustrated by then. With your bro honking the horn and all.

DianaB · 06-09-2011, 10:33 AM

I"m so proud of Rick for standing up for you!!!! I'm also glad that he walked away and didn't start a big fight over it.

I think that you should schedule each family for a weekend or maybe a whole Saturday to stay with your Mom. Then it's up to all of you to either sit with your Mom or make sure a family member is with her.....which could include your neices and nephews. It should be a family project to take care of your Mom. You should have some time to yourself.....to go to town or visit others. You're going to have to let them know that you need a break.....not just physically but mentally as well!!!!!

gja1000 · 06-09-2011, 01:22 PM

Diana! That is an excellent idea!! Have everyone schedule "their" weekend day. Here is the calendar, here are the weekend days, now choose your days? Let them decide and you won't be whining or asking for help.

Make it clear that like Diana said, they don't have to be there, it could be another family member, or it could be a paid sitter - BUT - that person is responsible for being sure someone is with mom for that day.

This way, you don't have to ask for respite (that's what it is called by the way, caregiving respite, and caregivers don't get nearly enough of it).

Diana! You are soooo smart!!!

DianaB · 06-09-2011, 04:07 PM

Thank you, Gayle!! However, I think that you helped to make it even better!!!

Janet, I do think that this would be a good idea. I never thought about them HIRING someone to come and help but this could really be a family responsibility!!! I hope it works out for you!!!

Janet · 06-09-2011, 05:37 PM

Part of the problem is solved....I'll start another thread.

gja1000 · 06-09-2011, 05:54 PM

Yes Janet, I'm dying to know what happened!!!!!

06-09-2011, 05:28 AM	#1
judy Donating 4WT Yakker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Denver, NY Posts: 8,097	Sounds like your brother was being defensive when Rick spoke up for you. Personally, I think your brother needed to be told that you need a weekend off. The tension there sounds like it is getting to be too much. Maybe it is time for a lunch alone with your brother, and a good serious talk. He and his wife do help some. Maybe they don't want to hear how much of a toll it is taking on you. People become reliant on anyone they can when they are faced with an unpleasant job. Your younger brother sounds like he's not going to be helpful no matter what. __________________ *Judy*

06-09-2011, 01:22 PM	#4
gja1000 Donating 4WT Yakker Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Central Texas Posts: 5,717	Diana! That is an excellent idea!! Have everyone schedule "their" weekend day. Here is the calendar, here are the weekend days, now choose your days? Let them decide and you won't be whining or asking for help. Make it clear that like Diana said, they don't have to be there, it could be another family member, or it could be a paid sitter - BUT - that person is responsible for being sure someone is with mom for that day. This way, you don't have to ask for respite (that's what it is called by the way, caregiving respite, and caregivers don't get nearly enough of it). Diana! You are soooo smart!!! __________________ Gayle

06-09-2011, 05:37 PM	#6
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,625	Part of the problem is solved....I'll start another thread. __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

06-09-2011, 05:54 PM	#7
gja1000 Donating 4WT Yakker Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Central Texas Posts: 5,717	Yes Janet, I'm dying to know what happened!!!!! __________________ Gayle

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06-09-2011, 08:26 AM	#2
JJJ Donating 4WT Addict Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 1,073	He meant well and I'm sure he was very frustrated by then. With your bro honking the horn and all.

06-09-2011, 10:33 AM	#3
DianaB Moderator Donating 4WT 13K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Kansas Posts: 16,069	I"m so proud of Rick for standing up for you!!!! I'm also glad that he walked away and didn't start a big fight over it. I think that you should schedule each family for a weekend or maybe a whole Saturday to stay with your Mom. Then it's up to all of you to either sit with your Mom or make sure a family member is with her.....which could include your neices and nephews. It should be a family project to take care of your Mom. You should have some time to yourself.....to go to town or visit others. You're going to have to let them know that you need a break.....not just physically but mentally as well!!!!!

06-09-2011, 04:07 PM	#5
DianaB Moderator Donating 4WT 13K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Kansas Posts: 16,069	Thank you, Gayle!! However, I think that you helped to make it even better!!! Janet, I do think that this would be a good idea. I never thought about them HIRING someone to come and help but this could really be a family responsibility!!! I hope it works out for you!!!

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