Do Husbands Get In The Way Of Frienships?

rivermom · 09-08-2006, 08:17 AM

There really is no greater bond then the friendship between two women. I find myself placing priorities to make sure I make time with my girlfriends. But....have you ever found that at times your friends husbands get in the way??

I have a close friend who lives down the road from me. For the first time in my life I have expierenced that her husband actually becomes jealous of her's and mine friendship. He "forces" her in many ways to stay with him whether it be giving her "honey do lists" or "guilt trips".

My friend actually at times has to lie just for us to hang out or whatever and I find this so odd. He has "run off" her other girl friends but being the stubborn butt that I am I refuse to allow him to take that action towards me.

Her and I always have a blast together but it amazes me all the games she has to play just to have some "girl time" together.

She even makes me "suck up" to him at times which is NOT in my nature so we can be friends. I don't agree with this but I am willing to do this to maintain our friendship.

I feel sorry for her, she's a wonderful lady but married to such an insecure and jealous man.

But....This proves to me the bond between girl friends!!

Have any of you ever dealt with this type of behavior before??

Mandy · 09-08-2006, 08:40 AM

Yes i have dealt with that before. This one friend and i were really close, we used to take the train to Berlin to get away from it all for weekends, we used to go do some fun shopping and dinners, we used to have a blast!!

After she and her husband got divorced she met another man, well that was it!! She had no life anymore, after meeting him several times, i got the feeling that she was affraid of him.
I asked her straight what the deal was with him, she admitted he was very jealous!! A few months later i found out he was beating her up. Her daughter told me that when he drinks he gets angry and starts fighting with her mother.
When i asked her about it, she said it was no big deal, and skipped the topic.

They moved to another part of Holland, i now only have occasional email contact with her, because she's not "allowed" to use the computer when he's not around, so he sits with her while she types my mails, probably to watch what she tells me.
After she makes phone calls he checks the numbers she's dialed.

Sad but true

09-08-2006, 08:55 AM

Yes...i have a friend who i used to be very close to, we were up each other's butts all day when our kids were in school but for the last four years she has been with a man who is very jealous of who she hangs out with. he monitors her phone calls, emails, etc. and she lets him do it so i've decided that if she would rather be treated like that and if it makes her happy then i'm happy for her-although if i could i'd tell him to grow up and learn to trust her or leave her the hell alone! we are still friends but no where as close as we used to be because of his selfishness which makes me sad.

Janet · 09-08-2006, 09:17 AM

I've never had that happen with a girlfriend. But I was the one backing away for my husband. My best friend and I have been bestest friends for over 25 years. After her divorce (before our friendship) she was always wanting me to do something or go somewhere. I hadn't been married very long and felt guilty leaving to have fun, spending money while hubby was home. He never objected, it was just me. Thank the good Lord he gave Linda patience..once I learned I deserved time out then everything worked. I honestly don't know what I would do without her, she means the world to me.

Kimberley · 09-08-2006, 09:20 AM

My husband realizes that friendships are very valuable. He's never ran any of my friends off.

ginab · 09-08-2006, 10:05 AM

they want you all to themselves...jealous bastards

Mandy · 09-08-2006, 11:57 AM

I would never allow my husband to come between me and my friends, but he knows how much good friends mean to me, and he respects the time i spend with them.

Amber_lv · 09-08-2006, 05:27 PM

My husband is actually very understanding i don't get to go out much because i have small kids but i do constantly talk on the phone with my best friend and he doesn't mind we do go out sometimes but she is single so i just hang out with her but we have been friends for 14 years and it hasn't changed since i got married.

09-09-2006, 07:29 PM

My husband tells me I don't need friends they just get you in trouble. But he does not tell me I can't have my friends from YT and now this site, he does get a little mad at me when he wants to talk and I'm online.

RLC12345678 · 09-10-2006, 08:42 AM

My husband is my very best friend. I don't trust a lot of people and the few very good friends I have, I keep very very close. My husband works a whole lot (80-100 hours/week), so he realizes that my friendships are important. He encourages me to hang out with my friends, but if he has a night off, he would be very upset if I spent that night with my friends and not him or chatted on the phone all night instead of spending quality time with him, which is COMPLETELY understandable!

Mandy · 09-10-2006, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellen

My husband tells me I don't need friends they just get you in trouble. But he does not tell me I can't have my friends from YT and now this site, he does get a little mad at me when he wants to talk and I'm online.

A good friend will NEVER get you in trouble!!!! A good friend will ALWAYS be there for you anytime you need her

I don't have many real friends that i trust with my life, but the ones that i do have, i cherish!! I love them, and they love me!!

RLC12345678 · 09-10-2006, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mandy

A good friend will NEVER get you in trouble!!!! A good friend will ALWAYS be there for you anytime you need her

I don't have many real friends that i trust with my life, but the ones that i do have, i cherish!! I love them, and they love me!!

I agree. A REAL friend will not get you in trouble. They will keep you OUT of trouble!

09-08-2006, 08:17 AM	#1
rivermom Donating 4WT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Tontitown, Arkansas Posts: 2,475	Do Husbands Get In The Way Of Frienships? There really is no greater bond then the friendship between two women. I find myself placing priorities to make sure I make time with my girlfriends. But....have you ever found that at times your friends husbands get in the way?? I have a close friend who lives down the road from me. For the first time in my life I have expierenced that her husband actually becomes jealous of her's and mine friendship. He "forces" her in many ways to stay with him whether it be giving her "honey do lists" or "guilt trips". My friend actually at times has to lie just for us to hang out or whatever and I find this so odd. He has "run off" her other girl friends but being the stubborn butt that I am I refuse to allow him to take that action towards me. Her and I always have a blast together but it amazes me all the games she has to play just to have some "girl time" together. She even makes me "suck up" to him at times which is NOT in my nature so we can be friends. I don't agree with this but I am willing to do this to maintain our friendship. I feel sorry for her, she's a wonderful lady but married to such an insecure and jealous man. But....This proves to me the bond between girl friends!! Have any of you ever dealt with this type of behavior before??

09-08-2006, 08:40 AM	#2
Mandy Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Who cares! Posts: 4,587	Yes i have dealt with that before. This one friend and i were really close, we used to take the train to Berlin to get away from it all for weekends, we used to go do some fun shopping and dinners, we used to have a blast!! After she and her husband got divorced she met another man, well that was it!! She had no life anymore, after meeting him several times, i got the feeling that she was affraid of him. I asked her straight what the deal was with him, she admitted he was very jealous!! A few months later i found out he was beating her up. Her daughter told me that when he drinks he gets angry and starts fighting with her mother. When i asked her about it, she said it was no big deal, and skipped the topic. They moved to another part of Holland, i now only have occasional email contact with her, because she's not "allowed" to use the computer when he's not around, so he sits with her while she types my mails, probably to watch what she tells me. After she makes phone calls he checks the numbers she's dialed. Sad but true __________________ Many people will walk in and out your life, but only true friends leave footprints!

09-08-2006, 11:57 AM	#7
Mandy Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Who cares! Posts: 4,587	I would never allow my husband to come between me and my friends, but he knows how much good friends mean to me, and he respects the time i spend with them. __________________ Many people will walk in and out your life, but only true friends leave footprints!

09-08-2006, 05:27 PM	#8
Amber_lv Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Salt Lake Posts: 983	My husband is actually very understanding i don't get to go out much because i have small kids but i do constantly talk on the phone with my best friend and he doesn't mind we do go out sometimes but she is single so i just hang out with her but we have been friends for 14 years and it hasn't changed since i got married. __________________ Peeka-Boo-Daisy-Designs for all your doggy clothing needs Peeka's Myspace Daisy's Myspace

09-10-2006, 08:42 AM	#10
RLC12345678 4WT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,614	My husband is my very best friend. I don't trust a lot of people and the few very good friends I have, I keep very very close. My husband works a whole lot (80-100 hours/week), so he realizes that my friendships are important. He encourages me to hang out with my friends, but if he has a night off, he would be very upset if I spent that night with my friends and not him or chatted on the phone all night instead of spending quality time with him, which is COMPLETELY understandable! __________________ Rebecca "To whom much is given, much is expected." ~Luke 12:48

09-08-2006, 08:55 AM	#3
ice queen Guest Posts: n/a	Yes...i have a friend who i used to be very close to, we were up each other's butts all day when our kids were in school but for the last four years she has been with a man who is very jealous of who she hangs out with. he monitors her phone calls, emails, etc. and she lets him do it so i've decided that if she would rather be treated like that and if it makes her happy then i'm happy for her-although if i could i'd tell him to grow up and learn to trust her or leave her the hell alone! we are still friends but no where as close as we used to be because of his selfishness which makes me sad.

09-08-2006, 09:17 AM	#4
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,625	I've never had that happen with a girlfriend. But I was the one backing away for my husband. My best friend and I have been bestest friends for over 25 years. After her divorce (before our friendship) she was always wanting me to do something or go somewhere. I hadn't been married very long and felt guilty leaving to have fun, spending money while hubby was home. He never objected, it was just me. Thank the good Lord he gave Linda patience..once I learned I deserved time out then everything worked. I honestly don't know what I would do without her, she means the world to me.

09-08-2006, 09:20 AM	#5
Kimberley Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: The Lone Star State Posts: 671	My husband realizes that friendships are very valuable. He's never ran any of my friends off.

09-08-2006, 10:05 AM	#6
ginab Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 109	they want you all to themselves...jealous bastards

09-09-2006, 07:29 PM	#9
Ellen Guest Posts: n/a	My husband tells me I don't need friends they just get you in trouble. But he does not tell me I can't have my friends from YT and now this site, he does get a little mad at me when he wants to talk and I'm online.

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