Is It possible to give too much to our kids at christmas?

[Willow]

I just wondered. My kids are getting ALOT this year, but it isn't all from us. They had 5 things each on their lists...and we had advised them to keep their lists small because our finances weren't what they used to be. The kids asked for clothes, pajamas, and they each had asked for some specific toys that they really really REALLY wanted this year.

Well, we bought them everything that was on their list. They were going to have between 8 and 10 presents each. I thought that was a good Christmas! What kid wouldn't be happy with that? That isn't counting gifts from grandparents or the ones my brother had sent them.

Now something unexpected happened. We had THREE unexpected deliveries in this last week for our kids. First, our local Share A Christmas had picked our kids for their program. They each got a huge gift bag from the program and in that is an outfit, socks, underwear, and shoes for each kid. My oldest two each got a toy with theirs. They also gave us a huge box of food. Well, I passed that on to someone else who needed it more than us.

Then a lady from our church came and brought unwrapped toys that she said she had got my kids. She gave us a toy guitar for my 3 yr old and 19 month old and both my 5 yr old and 3 yr old got HUGE remote control trucks. My daughter got a kids laptop and a Sweet streets city block play set.

Then yesterday, another local county program brought even MORE out to my kids. They brought them a playhouse for the backyard (there is no wrapping that so the kids already seen it) plus three toys for our youngest and brand new outfits for the older three (and more socks and underwear!) and they gave us a HUGE box of diapers and wipes!! I was stoked over the diapers and wipes!! lol

Now I am worried that it is all too much. My mom said to just let them have it because it might be the best Christmas they ever get to have. Well, that worries me. What if this Christmas is too good and then they are disappointed every year after that?

With all the extra gifts each kids has over 20 each!!!!

What do you ladies suggest I do? We have birthdays coming in Feb, April, and May and then the 3 yr old turns 4 in August. I suggested we put some back for their birthdays. My hubby wants to give it all to them on Xmas. I am just worried it is too much at once. I never had a xmas this big when I was a kid LOLOLOL

Usually for birthdays we only give one toy and one outfit, and I really don't want to change that tradition for fear they will expect more at birthdays. With four kids I try to keep birthday costs at a minimal!

Whoa that's a lot of gifts! I'm sure your kids would LOVE getting so many presents for Christmas....but in a way you're right, what if they come to expect that every year? If I were you, I'd put some away and use them for their birthdays, and maybe some other small gifts for getting good grades or "just because" presents. My parents used to do that with us. We'd usually only get one big gift and a couple small ones, and anything else my parents would usually put away for birthdays or other special moments (of course I didn't know that THEN, I just recently found out ) So yeah, your kids will still get LOTS of gifts, AND you'll have their birthdays taken care of

[Willow]

I like the idea of good grades or just because presents!! I don't really like the idea of them getting a LOT all at once. I am afraid it sends the wrong message.

[Tink]

This might be a good chance to teach your kids compassion. Maybe ask each one to choose one gift on their list to give to some other shild who isn't going to have such a great Christmas this year. If they give something that means something to them, chances are it will stick with them that they are VERY lucky to be able to spare something. If they have extra gifts they don't really like from the other sources, they could donate those too. I think the good feeling we get when we're able to give to someone else is also a great gift to ourselves!

I'm glad you're thinking about this. It shows the kids have a good example to lead them... and that's the greatest gift of all.

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by Tink

This might be a good chance to teach your kids compassion. Maybe ask each one to choose one gift on their list to give to some other shild who isn't going to have such a great Christmas this year. If they give something that means something to them, chances are it will stick with them that they are VERY lucky to be able to spare something. If they have extra gifts they don't really like from the other sources, they could donate those too. I think the good feeling we get when we're able to give to someone else is also a great gift to ourselves!

I'm glad you're thinking about this. It shows the kids have a good example to lead them... and that's the greatest gift of all.

I was going to suggest this as well. Let the kids share what they have with someone else who could use it. Do you have an organization that gathers up toys to distribute to children? Donate a few toys or what ever else to it.

A few years ago my daughter (she must have been about 5 yr. old) won a huge box of Barbie stuff at a Wal-mart store. I mean HUGE! She picked out some stuff and we went to the police station and donated it to their Christmas Box. She's 14 now and still remembers giving to others.

[Willow]

Those are great ideas!! Thank you! I don't know why I didn't think of that myself!

[Brooke]

I would let them have the gifts... I would explain that so and so gave them gifts too... if i gave some one's kids gifts i would be upset if they didnt get them. I understand what your thinking but these people are sharing with you in the true Christmas spirit, and you don't want to deprive them of their gifts to their kids do you??? I would really be upset if they had to give their gifts away... I put much thought into gifts and would hope they would be loved by the reciever... Please don't be mad, it's just my opinion....

[Marilyn]

All of these are really good ideas. In my opinion, whatever you decide will be okay. Your children don't seem old enought to really remember from one Christmas to the next just how big last year's was. I do like the suggestion to save some, even if you just make them just because gifts to give them in a month or so. If they get them all at once, they may not be able to really appreciate each gift. If they are spread out a little over time, they will enjoy them more. Giving one away is a great idea, too.

Again, I don't think you can make a wrong decision.

Great problem to have. Much better than not enough gifts. You have some great people around you.

Merry Christmas!!!!!

[Willow]

Originally Posted by Brooke

I would let them have the gifts... I would explain that so and so gave them gifts too... if i gave some one's kids gifts i would be upset if they didnt get them. I understand what your thinking but these people are sharing with you in the true Christmas spirit, and you don't want to deprive them of their gifts to their kids do you??? I would really be upset if they had to give their gifts away... I put much thought into gifts and would hope they would be loved by the reciever... Please don't be mad, it's just my opinion....

I understand what you are saying. I will tell you quite honestly that it is hard for me to NOT give them all of it. A very selfish part of me wants them to have it all so I can enjoy their excitement while they open them.

Another part of me feels guilty that my kids were so blessed this year considering there are others out there in the same predicament we are. When Help Me Grow brought my kids the gifts they had for them I even asked them if there were other families in the area that needed them more. She said we were the only family that had a need right now (I really don't believe that!) and I told them, well my kids don't need more gifts. They have been blessed already. The super laughed at me and said "of course they need more! It's Christmas!"

I did tell them about another family I know that has children that is having a rough time for Christmas (same family I shared the share a christmas with) and they promised me they would see what they could do for that family even though they do not live in our county. They said the had to help within county first before they help out of county, but they do know the family I mentioned.

My husband wants me to let them have it all. He thinks it would be cruel to let them open all their gifts and then tell them they have to give some away. I just think it would teach my kids how to care and be compassionate towards others. His reason for not wanting to hold back for birthdays is we don't have a big enough place to store gifts for several months.

What I would REALLY love to be able to do is adopt kids off those angel trees and have my kids shop for those kids.

[DianaB]

Instead of MAKING them give a gift try sitting down and explaining the situation to the older children and let it be their choice. They may know someone from school or church or somewhere that they would like to share a toy with. Then let them wrap or be a part of the wrapping and the giving. Kids love giving gifts to others. If they decide that they don't want to do it then that would be alright too, just make it their decision.

[Willow]

Originally Posted by DianaB

Instead of MAKING them give a gift try sitting down and explaining the situation to the older children and let it be their choice. They may know someone from school or church or somewhere that they would like to share a toy with. Then let them wrap or be a part of the wrapping and the giving. Kids love giving gifts to others. If they decide that they don't want to do it then that would be alright too, just make it their decision.

I really like that idea!! And I know my daughter would definitely go for it!! Especially if I present the idea to them in a positive way! Katie loves to make others happy! Thank you so very much!!

No!!! if you cant spoil them who can!

[Brooke]

I understand where your coming from Willow. I love helpng others at Christmas and I remember one year my daugher had a fairy tale Barbie she wanted to give away and we did... I was happy she was willing to give it away. It wasn't new but it looked new and there was a family we knew that had their home burn down. She went through all her stuff to see what we could do to help.

I grew up poor...We didn't have much, but my Mom some how pulled Christmas off every year. I loved my little gifts and cherished them... I was thrilled to have new things that were pretty and fun to play with. I know you want your kids to do something nice for others, and I think that is a great thing to teach. When i take a friend to lunch and we fight over who will pay, I tell them, you have to recieve with grace so the person giving can feel the blessing of giving... Other wise you deprive them of the great feeling they get when they give! There is a time to give and a time to recieve... Just know you are loved, and cared about...
I know what ever you do it will be right for you and your family... Merry Christmas And God Bless!