Feeling down

[Tink]

Brenda, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have had years of experience with a bipolar family member, so have some idea what you're living with. Many bi-polars choose not to take their meds because when they're MANIC, they feel WONDERFUL! They feel like they just won the lottery, they're indestructible and walking on air. What they don't realize is that they take risks that destroy the lives of those who love them in the mean time.

When they're Depressed, they're too low to care if they take meds. They'd just as soon die as to have to wake up another morning. Getting out of bed requires too much effort. They cycle between these 2 extremes with little or no even ground in between. Some cycle rapidly, others much more slowly. Most do have a rhythm that you can almost come to expect after a while. Either way, they're not someone you can count on to be there for you. They aren't healthy, so can't participate in healthy relationships.

What this does to those who love them is horrific. Sadly, there's nothing you can do to make him take care of his problem. He's not being rational. It's not his fault he has this problem, but it IS his responsibility to do something about it. Whether he is capable of doing it is up to him. All you can do is to take care of yourself and decide where to draw the line. Either you can live with things the way they are or you can't. If you can't, it's totally understandable to me. I really don't believe I could.

You might give him an ultimatum of going back on meds or you're done, but if you do, you have to be prepared for him to refuse. If he's not accountable to anyone, he doesn't have to deal with this... and that's how many choose to live. It's almost easier for a bi-polar NOT to be married, as that frees them up to live their extreme moods in their own twisted way.

I'll keep you in my prayers. I truly hope he decides to get help and you can find some balance in your marriage.

[Mandy]

Hi Brenda, i'm sorry you going through this. Hope everything works out for you both!
Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.
Cheer up girl, we are here for you

[Janet]

Oh Brenda, my heart is just aching for you! I think Tink has given you some wonderful advice. It's up to you to decide how much you will take and for how long. Remember though that life is too short to live with heartache day in and day out. You might also want to seek counceling for yourself, to see why this is the type of man/husband you've picked twice. We all do things, not matter what it is, for a reason....you need to find out why..... so it will never happen again.

I'll keep you in my prayers sweetie....

[Marilyn]

Brenda, my heart goes out to you, too. Do you have a strong church family??? If not, you may consider finding one. You need some strong loving support. Our blood families can sometimes provide this, but they may be too close to the issue to give you the comfort & reassurance that you really need. You need someone to talk to in person who can help you cope, either a councelor, who may be expensive if you insurance won't cover, or a church family who don't ask a lot, but have a lot to give.

You and your husband are in my prayers.

[khardy57]

Brenda,
I'm so sorry you're going thru this. It's very dealing with a person who's bi-polar. I know, I have a family who is bi-polar. I will be praying for you and for your husband. It took a life and death situation for my family member to realize that he had to be responsible for himself.

God bless you.

[blowry]

Thank everyone for your kind words...I have thought about seeing a therapist for my own sanity...I keep telling myself there is a reason God put me with Eric...maybe to help him? I don't know but, I do love him with all of my heart and won't give up...I have a very strong faith and do hold onto that. I'm just praying that Eric see's the light before it's too late.

Thank you so much everyone

Hugs to you all
Brenda

[Brooke]

God bless you... I will keep you in my prayers also...