Sister-in-law

[Tink]

Most often when people are that insensitive, it's a result of something that's damaged them at an earlier time. Maybe she never learned to accept the loss of her own mother and felt disloyal about allowing herself to bond to another one? It's hard to say what motivates people, but now that Vivian is gone, it seems there's not much to be gained by opening that can of worms. The chance for her to show her appreciation has passed with this woman who sounds like she was a very dear lady.

[khardy57]

Originally Posted by Tink

Most often when people are that insensitive, it's a result of something that's damaged them at an earlier time. Maybe she never learned to accept the loss of her own mother and felt disloyal about allowing herself to bond to another one? It's hard to say what motivates people, but now that Vivian is gone, it seems there's not much to be gained by opening that can of worms. The chance for her to show her appreciation has passed with this woman who sounds like she was a very dear lady.

Very well said!

[Tink]

Janet, I hope my previous post didn't sound harsh or as if I don't believe you all have just cause to be offended. I didn't mean that at all. I have family who I would also love to shake some sense into! I would gladly do it if I thought it would do any good. But often all it does is widen the gap, and that's really not helping anyone.

HUGS
I sincerely hope I didn't offend you. I realize your intent was to vent... and you're certainly entitled to do so. It's sad that your SIL couldn't feel part of the family like the others did. It sounds like she's the one who really missed out.

[Janet]

Most often when people are that insensitive, it's a result of something that's damaged them at an earlier time. Maybe she never learned to accept the loss of her own mother and felt disloyal about allowing herself to bond to another one? It's hard to say what motivates people, but now that Vivian is gone, it seems there's not much to be gained by opening that can of worms. The chance for her to show her appreciation has passed with this woman who sounds like she was a very dear lady.

Janet, I hope my previous post didn't sound harsh or as if I don't believe you all have just cause to be offended. I didn't mean that at all. I have family who I would also love to shake some sense into! I would gladly do it if I thought it would do any good. But often all it does is widen the gap, and that's really not helping anyone.

HUGS
I sincerely hope I didn't offend you. I realize your intent was to vent... and you're certainly entitled to do so. It's sad that your SIL couldn't feel part of the family like the others did. It sounds like she's the one who really missed out.

No Tink, bless your heart...you didn't offend me at all. You're right!!! When Stephanie was 5 and her mother passed, her Dad started dating Vivian. She started to call her Mommy and her maternal grandmother told her not to. So I think that was the beginning of when Stephanie thought she wasn't suppose to accept her. BUT....as she grew up, she could make her own choices. Vivian was a good mother to all three of Dick's kids, Stephanie was the only one who kept her distance. It's strange, because I would have thought it would have been my husband or his older brother since the knew their mother much better than Stephanie did. All I can say is, it is her loss, she should have followed her older brothers example.