Not Good News -- Surgery

[rivermom]

Originally Posted by Chandra Amaya

I completely agree. There are stages a person goes through with any loss. Loss doesn't have to be a person, his surgery is still a loss.. of his health, his career.

anyway, the first is denial. This you have seen for years from him. "It will get better" or "I'll be fine"
The second is anger. Whether he realizes it or not he is angry. "why did this have to happen to me?" "why can't I just deal with it?". you become angry at yourself, the world & everyone asround you feels it.

the third is bargaining this is where he says "If I can just do this first I'll have the surgery" or "If I can just make it through this I'll start going to the doctor more"

The fourth is depression. This is where he will think it is pointless if it won't help him to continue his career.

The fifth stage is acceptance. This is where he will finally know it has to be done. He will still be afraid but he will go through with it & stop being angry & depressed.

I know this all sounds very Shrink like. I'm sorry. I studied this in both nursing school & psychology class. I have seen it many times working in nursing homes & hospitals. I thought it may help to know it IS NOT YOU & that everything he is going through is normal reactions.

Great post Traci!!! The world makes one wise. Not just being in it, but living it. It's from experience that we gain knowledge and understanding of all our questions.

[Mandy]

So so true, he is not mad/angry with you Janet. Hes reacting it off on you because you are closest to him as hes wife, and he knows you love him!

[Forgivenmom5]

I am so sorry you are having to go through this Janet. It is such an emotional time.
Try not to make any decisions until things are more calm. My thoughts and prayers are with you.