so angry!!

Originally Posted by Tink

Ashley, he sounds so typical of a controling personality. Is he also an alcoholic? That often goes hand in hand.

YOU didn't hurt him! I wish you could believe that. You simply stopped letting him control you... that's not hurtful, it's HEALTHY. He is likely using your families faults (as HE sees them) to make you side with him and take you away from them so he can gain further control. Please don't do it! I have the creeps just reding about him... it's too familiar to how some of the guys at the drug/alcohol treatment center I worked at were. They'd lay on the charm to get their way, then refuse to take responsibility for anything. It's not safe to be with someone like that!

I have to agree with your Mom that he has the potential to become abusive physically in the future. He's already playing mind games to manipulate.

You're a smart lady, please don't settle for this.

No, actually he doesn't smoke or drink. I think you're absolutely right. I just don't know what to do. If I say something to make him angry like "stop calling me," he will leave work, and come straight to my house. He's done this 2x already. It's difficult. I do not like confrontation, so I try to appease him so he can leave the premises. However, although he has never hit me, he has withheld me from leaving a room when we argue. I never told my mom about it because she would have him arrested in a second.
I don't know how to keep him out of my life. I've already changed my number, I don't want to do that again. I don't want to go thru the restraining order process because that is just way too much drama. How do I get him to leave me alone? Because somewhere in the back of his mind, he thinks that this is just a "little problem" and that we are still together?

Ashley

[Janet]

Ashley, he sounds so dangerous. One classic sign is he wants to take you to Texas away from your family's influence. Next you won't be able to have any friends to talk with, he won't want to take the chance they would talk you into leaving him. You need to be strong and not speak with him at all. Walk, no run away and don't look back. You have a bright future ahead of you in law, and he will ruin everything you've worked for. No person will try to control another person in the name of love. He does not love you...he is losing control of you and pretty soon he'll lose control of himself. Ashley...quite honestly...you can end up dead. You know this as well! You need to be really honest with yourself....you can do soooo much better.

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by Janet

Ashley, he sounds so dangerous. One classic sign is he wants to take you to Texas away from your family's influence. Next you won't be able to have any friends to talk with, he won't want to take the chance they would talk you into leaving him. You need to be strong and not speak with him at all. Walk, no run away and don't look back. You have a bright future ahead of you in law, and he will ruin everything you've worked for. No person will try to control another person in the name of love. He does not love you...he is losing control of you and pretty soon he'll lose control of himself. Ashley...quite honestly...you can end up dead. You know this as well! You need to be really honest with yourself....you can do soooo much better.

I completely agree Janet. He sounds very dangerous. You are lucky that you were able to get out of this relationship early Ashley.

[DianaB]

I agree with Janet too. In everything that you're telling us we can see that he's trying to control you. It sounds like he's not too far from physical abuse, especially if he can get you away from family and friends. As Janet said, Run away from this guy! Maybe you should go and spend the summer with a grandparent or some friends and let things cool down a bit. Do NOT have contact with this guy! He sounds dangerous!

[Chandra Amaya]

I completely agree with what everyone else has said. Ashley I have been in this situation. I kept talking to the guy because I loved him & felt bad for him. I didn't want him to hurt. He held me hostage in my home. He kicked my door in & attacked my new boyfriend when I got one. (now my husband). He kept everything my kids & I owned trying to get me to come back to his house. I took out an order of protection & ended up giving him all of our stuff that was at his house (everything we owned) in court because the judge would not give me an escort to get it. BUT I cut all ties that day. It's the only way he would stop. He had made some threats & I was sure he would have followed through had I not stood up for myself & invovled the legal system. I know how scary it sounds but believe me you will feel much better once you have put a stop to his contact.

[Janet]

You've gotten good advice Ashley, please pay heed, we care!