Rather complicated

[Mandy]

That is a tough situation to be in. My thoughts & prayers are with you Tink, and i hope this will be sorted out very soon!

[Chandra Amaya]

I have a hard time holding people responsible for their own life. For one my ex-husband, He did not have a supportive family. His real father was an alcoholic who drank himself to death. His mother...well its hard to explain. She wasn't physically abusive but it was like ...she just never cared..about anything but herself. He was never shown love. Family just meant very little to them. He is now a deadbeat dad to my middle two children. I made excuses for him for the longest time. BUT he is now turning 30, I'm over making excuses. At some point we have to stop blaming our childhood for our problems, grow up & become our own person. Yes I still am saddened that people have bad childhoods & I know it can be harder when you have. But it sounds like she may be the same way. She's 19 now. It's time for her to grow up, let go of her past & become her own person. I went to the local college, paid $25 & took my GED. One problem I see is that YOU have called all the places for her. She needs to take responsibility for herself. I applaud you for helping Tink but she really needs to take some responsibility. Then look for someone like you to encourage & support her (not the way you have been but by telling her she can do things or she is making good decisions). I know this sounds crude but if she doesn't start now, when? When she is 30, 40 or 50 will someone still need to "raise" her like a child?

[judy]

I think you're doing the right thing by opening up your home to her, and so is Katie,
and your son. She sounds like she's really needy though and you might have to be prepared for a complicated ending.

My friend did a similar thing when her son brought home his very needy girlfriend. She did finally have to get her out because she was unable to carry her own weight. My friend, however, felt like at least she tried to help her, and maybe she did to a point. She has no regrets and her son is now out, living on his own with a wonderful girl.