i give up...well, i want to anyway...

[Passionfruition]

Wow, I can tell you really poured your heart out in that post. I can definitely relate as I was/am married to a very controlling guy who has input on EVERYTHING, etc....and we're separated now. It's really hard - really hard, and I think it's a decision that nobody can make but you. Only YOU can decide when you've had enough. I used to think my husband was controlling because he really cared about me, but I have really come to see that it was selfish motives driving him. He never loved me for who I am, only who he wanted me to be. I felt so alone, so trapped, so lonely.

It's scary...I looked at a "checklist" of sorts for verbal and emotional abuse, and I could check off nearly every one. That's when I started to realize that maybe it wasn't all my fault and that perhaps I deserved better and should stand up for myself. http://www.cdh.org/ClinicalServices.aspx?id=9298 ...and here's another good article: http://www.myndtalk.org/html/emotional_abuse.html

The hardest part is, he could really be a nice guy at times, and for the most part, nobody really could see how he treated me behind closed doors. I am just now realizing, now that I am separated and away from the cycle of abuse, how worthy I really am, and how happy I can be. I haven't been happy for so long now.

I know our situations are completely different, and I don't mean to suggest otherwise. Please know I am here for you if you ever need to talk. Feel free to PM me anytime.