Update on my mother

[DianaB]

My MIL recently went through something similar. She needed a hernia surgery (it was the size of a basketball!) but had put it off because her heart was too weak to have it done. She'd been having severe pains when something got twisted inside and eventually she'd have had to have the surgery but it would have been in an emergency setting. Her daughter finally found a doctor that said he could do it when all the other doctors said that she wouldn't survive the surgery. Anyway, she was talked into having it done and everything has gone well. I was totally surprised because I didn't think that it would improve her quality of life but I've been proven wrong, it's very minimal but she IS better.

Your Mom has a big decision ahead. Maybe a second opinion might help with her decision. I'll be praying that she makes the right decision.

[Gina]

Janet you are far from a selfish person. I understand your reasons. Speak to the doctor and ask him if she can postpone the surgery until the Spring and take it from there. The decision in the end will be her's to make. You have my prayers...

[judy]

Dear Janet,

You are so far from selfish! Whatever the doctor says - whether you can postpone it or not - is probably (hopefully) what your Mom will do. She has a right to her
own decisions anyway. At her age, she's earned it.

You have us for support and you'll do the right thing I'm sure.

[Forgivenmom5]

Janet I'm sorry your Mom has to go through this. I know it is hard on both of you. I know she is grateful to have you there for her no matter what her decision.

[rivermom]

Originally Posted by DianaB

My MIL recently went through something similar. She needed a hernia surgery (it was the size of a basketball!) but had put it off because her heart was too weak to have it done. She'd been having severe pains when something got twisted inside and eventually she'd have had to have the surgery but it would have been in an emergency setting. Her daughter finally found a doctor that said he could do it when all the other doctors said that she wouldn't survive the surgery. Anyway, she was talked into having it done and everything has gone well. I was totally surprised because I didn't think that it would improve her quality of life but I've been proven wrong, it's very minimal but she IS better.

Your Mom has a big decision ahead. Maybe a second opinion might help with her decision. I'll be praying that she makes the right decision.

Oh my Diana! That is such great news that the surgery went well for her and her quality of life has improved somewhat. Sometimes, even being minimal is better than nothing. Hope she continues to feel even better.

[Janet]

Thanks everyone...she's still thinking about it, so I'll let you know when and what she decides.

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by Janet

Thanks everyone...she's still thinking about it, so I'll let you know when and what she decides.

That's a hard decision and I'm sure that it will take her some time to make it. Getting older is no fun!

[Tink]

Janet, my prayers are with you both. I wouldn't want to have to be the one making that decision for someone else either, so can certainly understand where you're at.
Thank God she's got a clear mind so is able to decide for herself.

My Mother is actually in better shape than I am right now, so I've not had to deal with any of this yet. My dad died many years ago suddenly, so there was nothing to decide with him. I dread the day when I find myself in your position. HUGS

[judy]

Being the caregiver for our parents is a fear most of us have. You're doing an exemplary job Janet. You do things from the heart

[Janet]

Yes, I am very thankful that she still has a clear mind. Granted when it comes to the Dr. telling her everything, it confuses her. That's why I go with her. She's never had to go to a Dr. or be in a hospital (except for having us kids) until 2 years ago. Mom has been blessed with great health her whole life, so I guess it's not unusual for this to happen as she ages.

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by rivermom

Oh my Diana! That is such great news that the surgery went well for her and her quality of life has improved somewhat. Sometimes, even being minimal is better than nothing. Hope she continues to feel even better.

Thanks, Sheryl. I didn't know that hernia's could get that big!!! She'd had it for years but was afraid of surgery but when it got strangulated she was in ALOT of pain. She just got out of the hospital again on Monday because her lungs started filling up with fluid. She's been with her daughter in Nebraska and I don't know when she's coming home or if she'll even be able to care for herself when she does come home. It's been really hard on my husband's family trying to make decisons from a different state.