I think it's over.

[Lindsey]

I feel like I made a big mistake. I'm filled with regret.
I tried to talk to him but he doesn't really want to talk. He's with his friends today at a football game. He said maybe we'll talk tomorrow.
I DO like him. I love his family, his friends, his dogs, his hugs, his kisses, his cuddles when we're sleeping in the middle of the night. I miss him laughing. I miss him making me laugh. I miss dates.
I am to blame for a lot of what goes on between us, and I just never want to admit it. If I'm in a bad mood I start fights. I bring up the topic of my dog. I bring up things that bother me, even if they're just little, and I turn them into something huge.
He has been doing better with Layla lately. If he's in a bad mood he doesn't want to be around her. But if he's in a good mood he tries to just be indifferent, and sometimes he'll pet her or try to play with her.
This might sound really shallow, but I worry that my friends or family won't think he's attractive enough for me. It shouldn't matter. If I'm happy on the inside, why does the outside matter? Sometimes I feel like I have to prove something. When I left his house yesterday morning I noticed I had 2 text messages on my phone from an ex. A really really attractive and wealthy ex. I was so drawn to his looks and charm I was with him on and off for about 2 years... even though I knew he did a lot of drugs, and he was cheating on me. He openly admitted it. He even cheated with strippers. But I was like, just LOOK at this eye candy I've got on my arm! But on the inside I was so depressed. I hated myself, I could barely even make myself eat. I was 5'8 and 112 lbs. His text message yesterday said he was hanging out with a girl who had my smile, and he thought of me, and he just wanted to say hi. It made me feel sick.
So why is Kyle so bad? Why am I trying to not let myself be happy with him? He treats me well, his family treats me well, his friends love me. My parents love him.
I think the root of us fighting so much is that we talk so much. We talk every day at work over email, then on the phone at night, and usually see each other 3 or 4 nights of the week and then we're usually together ALL weekend. We don't have seperate lives. We run out of things to talk about, so we fight.
If he's willing to give it another try (because I think I am... and most people probably think that's a mistake) I think we should just give ourselves one night a week to hang out. A designated date night. And then one weekend day and night. I need a day to myself to unwind and spend time with Layla or my friends and just get things done. And the emails at work have to stop. I'd like us to actually be able to talk about things when we get together. We pretty much know every detailed hour of each other's lives.
So what does everyone think? Is it worth another chance? Should I talk to him about it tomorrow?

[katepoet]

In all honesty, I don't think you are ready to be with Kyle or with anyone else right now. I think you need to spend time getting to know yourself and really taking care of your needs all by yourself until you can stand on your own and feel content. When that happens, the right man, be it Kyle or someone else, will walk into your life.

It sounds as if you get involved with men who are not truly good for you. From what you have said, Kyle is one of them. I know you have mixed feelings. You can love a lot of people, you know, there is something lovable in each of us, but that doesn't mean you should get involved with each person for that lovable part. Sure, some parts of Kyle are lovable but some parts of him don't work with some parts of you.

Don't kick yourself for how you have been in this relationship. You have room to grow but feeling "fault" is not a good way to go. You are a good person, a loving person, a creative and joyful person. So why should you have to edit yourself so much to be with a man. Not a way to start life with someone.

Please, take a break from any love relationships except with yourself. Go to some counseling or read books about how to accept who you are, to love and like yourself. You are worth it, Lindsey.

I always doubted myself at the ending of a relationship, always missed whatever I had that was good with each man. It was lonely and depressing. It wasn't until I took the time to focus on making my life good, independent of men, that I became someone who could make a relationship truly work, someone who was ready to meet and keep a really, truly nice guy. It's been true for so many of my friends, too.

Give yourself a chance, Lindsey. Get through one day, and then add the next. Life will get better.

[Lindsey]

Each day is getting worse and worse and worse. I can't stand not having him to talk to. I can't stop crying. I made a mistake.

[Lindsey]

I am going to his house in 15 minutes to talk. I know nobody here agrees with it. I just feel I need to.

[rivermom]

Originally Posted by Lindsey

I am going to his house in 15 minutes to talk. I know nobody here agrees with it. I just feel I need to.

Ya know Lindsey...I am pretty much guessing that none of us members can agree with 100% of what each of us does. But it doesn't mean we are never here to listen if that's what ya need.

[Mandy]

Lindsey, most of us are MUCH older than you, and most of us have had the experience, and think "been there, done that" BUT only you know what you feel, and only you know the finer details. The advice most of us have given you, is from our own experience, and want to guard you from bumping your head like we have done. Bottom line is, these are things that you have to experience yourself, and we are here for you no matter what, you have to do, what you feel is right.

Good luck

[rivermom]

Originally Posted by Mandy

Lindsey, most of us are MUCH older than you, and most of us have had the experience, and think "been there, done that" BUT only you know what you feel, and only you know the finer details. The advice most of us have given you, is from our own experience, and want to guard you from bumping your head like we have done. Bottom line is, these are things that you have to experience yourself, and we are here for you no matter what, you have to do, what you feel is right.

Good luck

Beautifully said Mandy!

Originally Posted by Lindsey

I feel like I made a big mistake. I'm filled with regret.
I tried to talk to him but he doesn't really want to talk. He's with his friends today at a football game. He said maybe we'll talk tomorrow.
I DO like him. I love his family, his friends, his dogs, his hugs, his kisses, his cuddles when we're sleeping in the middle of the night. I miss him laughing. I miss him making me laugh. I miss dates.
I am to blame for a lot of what goes on between us, and I just never want to admit it. If I'm in a bad mood I start fights. I bring up the topic of my dog. I bring up things that bother me, even if they're just little, and I turn them into something huge.
He has been doing better with Layla lately. If he's in a bad mood he doesn't want to be around her. But if he's in a good mood he tries to just be indifferent, and sometimes he'll pet her or try to play with her.
This might sound really shallow, but I worry that my friends or family won't think he's attractive enough for me. It shouldn't matter. If I'm happy on the inside, why does the outside matter? Sometimes I feel like I have to prove something. When I left his house yesterday morning I noticed I had 2 text messages on my phone from an ex. A really really attractive and wealthy ex. I was so drawn to his looks and charm I was with him on and off for about 2 years... even though I knew he did a lot of drugs, and he was cheating on me. He openly admitted it. He even cheated with strippers. But I was like, just LOOK at this eye candy I've got on my arm! But on the inside I was so depressed. I hated myself, I could barely even make myself eat. I was 5'8 and 112 lbs. His text message yesterday said he was hanging out with a girl who had my smile, and he thought of me, and he just wanted to say hi. It made me feel sick.
So why is Kyle so bad? Why am I trying to not let myself be happy with him? He treats me well, his family treats me well, his friends love me. My parents love him.
I think the root of us fighting so much is that we talk so much. We talk every day at work over email, then on the phone at night, and usually see each other 3 or 4 nights of the week and then we're usually together ALL weekend. We don't have seperate lives. We run out of things to talk about, so we fight.
If he's willing to give it another try (because I think I am... and most people probably think that's a mistake) I think we should just give ourselves one night a week to hang out. A designated date night. And then one weekend day and night. I need a day to myself to unwind and spend time with Layla or my friends and just get things done. And the emails at work have to stop. I'd like us to actually be able to talk about things when we get together. We pretty much know every detailed hour of each other's lives.
So what does everyone think? Is it worth another chance? Should I talk to him about it tomorrow?

Personally I wouldn't. You deserve someone who understands you and loves you for who you are. Clearly this guy is just playing with your emotions. Just my opinion. Seems like he used you for one night of fun, and then went back to his jerky behavior. Sorry if I'm blunt but I wouldn't put up with this BS

[judy]

Hi Lindsey,

So are you on or off? It seems you're back on. If that's what you want, we're behind you.

I wanted to travel too when I was your age, didn't want to marry until I was about 30, and was also very independent. I wasn't brought up to think I could really get away with doing that. Marriage was a must! So, I got married, had my daughter, and got divorced. Then I spent 11 years doing what I wanted, give or take, since I had a child. I went back to college, began my doctoral studies, and was on my way to being the scientist I always wanted to be. I left for a number of reasons (all good ones). Then, for some reason I wanted to get married again.
I think I wanted a father for mu daughter and I found one. He's a great dad, not a good husband.

Now I'm divorced again and completely free to do whatever I want. I seem to keep going back to that original plan and when I get my freedom, I'm so happy. So, I think that no matter how hard we try to fit ourselves into what we think we should be, we always return to who we really are.


It's the cycle of life.

Love ya,

Judy

[katcarasella]

Hi Nicole, saw you just joined, Welcome to 4WT!!!! We're all Yorkie Lovers here!!

[NicoleMarcelle]

Originally Posted by katcarasella

Hi Nicole, saw you just joined, Welcome to 4WT!!!! We're all Yorkie Lovers here!!

me? whoa how did you know i was on this thread?...lol

[katcarasella]

Originally Posted by NicoleMarcelle

me? whoa how did you know i was on this thread?...lol

Go to the top of the screen, dark purple section and hit (Quick Links) It tell you who's online. He-he

[NicoleMarcelle]

Originally Posted by katcarasella

Go to the top of the screen, dark purple section and hit (Quick Links) It tell you who's online. He-he

lol...learn something new every day huh... i was like...am i being watched?? teehee silly mee...