Adhd

[Janet]

Originally Posted by Necee419

He always talks to their mom and tells her if she needs time to take care of herself, to send them to us. She doesn't want to because she says they are all she has. She has a husband but they have their own problems in that relationship. My husband has been divorced from her for 10 years so the kids are pretty used to it and I don't think that is an issue. She uses my husband as a threat to the kids "better shape up or I'm sending you to your father". My husband is very stern with them and they are afraid of him. When they are with us they are straight and well behaved. Once they go home, mom lets them go out with their friends and hang out and get away with lots of things. Then when they act up, she calls my husband.

Let me begin by apologizing for what I'm about to say. Please do not take it as critisisim or in a negative way....PLEASE.

Those children need someone to intervene for them. It is not their responsibility to give their mother something to live for. What a heavy burden on top of everything else. NO CHILD UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD BE USED TO IT. They need to know that others don't live like that. If she and her husband are having problems, then she needs to do what is best for her children FIRST. If not her, then their father!

Those children should not be AFRAID of their father. Somewhere along the line he crossed it in his discipline. They need him and need him now, before the young man turns to other means to make himself feel better. Please, please talk with your husband or show him this thread...his children need him.

[RLC12345678]

Originally Posted by Janet

Let me begin by apologizing for what I'm about to say. Please do not take it as critisisim or in a negative way....PLEASE.

Those children need someone to intervene for them. It is not their responsibility to give their mother something to live for. What a heavy burden on top of everything else. NO CHILD UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD BE USED TO IT. They need to know that others don't live like that. If she and her husband are having problems, then she needs to do what is best for her children FIRST. If not her, then their father!

Those children should not be AFRAID of their father. Somewhere along the line he crossed it in his discipline. They need him and need him now, before the young man turns to other means to make himself feel better. Please, please talk with your husband or show him this thread...his children need him.

I agree 110%, Janet. Your hubby needs to intervene. They should not be "taking care" of their mother. Their mother is being SO selfish...she "needs" them?? NO! Those kids NEED someone to take care of THEM. They need to be KIDS. A 13 year old girl needs to be able to be a kid. Please talk to your hubby. Those kids need someone to love them and take care of THEM.

[Necee419]

No offense taken. The kids are afraid of my husband because he is serious and stern but he has never hit them. I think it is more like they don't have the comfort they have with their mom, they walk all over her but would never dare do that with Dad. They respect him more than they do her, all he has to do is talk to them and they listen. I agree that they are burdened with caring for their mom. It is something I feel very sad about as does my husband. According to him, she threatened to commit suicide if he ever took the kids from her. Despite her health problems she is a good mother and loves them very much, as they do her. It is all so very sad.

[khardy57]

My youngest son (now 27) was diagnosed with ADHD in the second grade. I've gone thru hell with him all thru school. At 19 he tried to commit suicide for the first time. He's been diagnosed as bi-polar (manic-depressive). With medication and monitoring - it's been a year since he's had any problems at all. I thank God every day for his improvement.

He still has a hard time concentrating and crowds make him very nervous. He lives with me since my husband died and it's been good for both of us. He says that his step-father's death really touched something inside him and he considers it his responsibility to "take care of his Mama". He's doing really well now, but the school years were awful! Kids can be so cruel!

[Janet]

Bless you and your son. I see a lot of the cruelty kids do being a bus driver. So sad what pain they can put each other through.