Opinions needed!

[Marilyn]

Originally Posted by Mandy78

I grew up with a stay at home mom, and she did everything for my dad and for us kids. But that is what she loved to do. I was at the age where she was starting to teach me things such as cooking and all that when she passed away very suddenly. By that time, my brother was already at college, so it was Dad and me to fend for ourselves! So we both had to learn to cook and clean! GRRR!!!! It was such a hoot the 1st time we had to do a load of laundry. We had no idea how to start the darn thing! So my Aunt had to come over to show us!!!!! But I was 13 when all this happened!!! So it just became a way of life for the 2 of us!

But...I am soooo not a good cooker. I wish I had someone to HELP me along the way. I am learning to cook now from my MIL, who was also a stay at home and waited on her kids and hubby hand and foot! And Italian at that....(Stubborn) LOL!!!

But she still taught her kids how to do everything! And I love the fact that if I cook, Ray cleans up. If he cooks, he still cleans up! HE tells me to relax! He cleans the house, takes care of the yard, does laundry!!! EVERYTHING!!! I love it!

IMO...I think EVERY child no matter what sex should be taught how to do everything. Taught how to do things...not wait on anyone!!!! I like what was said earlier, you do things for someone such as your spouse out of love. When you are in a great relationship, thats what you want to do! But it goes both ways! When I am off during the week, and Ray comes home to all the laundry done, clean house and dinner ready, he is always soo appreciative!!! On his day off during the week, and I come home to everything done and dinner ready, and he serves me, I am sooooo happy!!!!! And of course he gets lucky too! LMAO!

I guess what I am trying to say is that I wish I was able to learn from my mother all the things I had to learn on my own. I still to this day have no idea how to even thread a needle to sew a button on a blouse if it fell off. I wish I knew all the "secret" ingredients to her special recipes. I guess I would love to have had that bonding time! Her technigue for ironing, my mom always had our stuff ironed perfectly. I do a lousy job at it.

And my parents had GREAT respect for each other, Ray's parents had GREAT respect for each other. Our mothers did things out of love! Our Dads did things for our Moms too out of love. Why wouldn't they want to? So that is how we are, and if and when we have kids, I hope they would see the same with us. Doing things for each other out of love.

Sorry so long!

Mandy, this is great!! You have a wonderful relationship. Sad you could not have learned those special things from your mom, but you can make you own things special and pass them on to your children. Great Post!!

[Janet]

Originally Posted by Mandy78

I grew up with a stay at home mom, and she did everything for my dad and for us kids. But that is what she loved to do. I was at the age where she was starting to teach me things such as cooking and all that when she passed away very suddenly. By that time, my brother was already at college, so it was Dad and me to fend for ourselves! So we both had to learn to cook and clean! GRRR!!!! It was such a hoot the 1st time we had to do a load of laundry. We had no idea how to start the darn thing! So my Aunt had to come over to show us!!!!! But I was 13 when all this happened!!! So it just became a way of life for the 2 of us!

But...I am soooo not a good cooker. I wish I had someone to HELP me along the way. I am learning to cook now from my MIL, who was also a stay at home and waited on her kids and hubby hand and foot! And Italian at that....(Stubborn) LOL!!!

But she still taught her kids how to do everything! And I love the fact that if I cook, Ray cleans up. If he cooks, he still cleans up! HE tells me to relax! He cleans the house, takes care of the yard, does laundry!!! EVERYTHING!!! I love it!

IMO...I think EVERY child no matter what sex should be taught how to do everything. Taught how to do things...not wait on anyone!!!! I like what was said earlier, you do things for someone such as your spouse out of love. When you are in a great relationship, thats what you want to do! But it goes both ways! When I am off during the week, and Ray comes home to all the laundry done, clean house and dinner ready, he is always soo appreciative!!! On his day off during the week, and I come home to everything done and dinner ready, and he serves me, I am sooooo happy!!!!! And of course he gets lucky too! LMAO!

I guess what I am trying to say is that I wish I was able to learn from my mother all the things I had to learn on my own. I still to this day have no idea how to even thread a needle to sew a button on a blouse if it fell off. I wish I knew all the "secret" ingredients to her special recipes. I guess I would love to have had that bonding time! Her technigue for ironing, my mom always had our stuff ironed perfectly. I do a lousy job at it.

And my parents had GREAT respect for each other, Ray's parents had GREAT respect for each other. Our mothers did things out of love! Our Dads did things for our Moms too out of love. Why wouldn't they want to? So that is how we are, and if and when we have kids, I hope they would see the same with us. Doing things for each other out of love.

Sorry so long!

You did a great job with this post!!! Thanks

[Gina]

I agree with most of the women on here, everyone is saying something that fits the tee...For starters I also had a stay at home mom, and she had 3 sons , and myself. I was as you would say spoiled. I never did anything, when I was 11 yrs old. As I started getting older I would help my mom clean the house. I always liked a clean and orderly home to. When I met my husband and became engaged I started to learn how to cook , asking for receipes and trying them on him...lol I became a good housewife, with the skills that was required but at a later age.

Now to bring you up to my daughter whom is 19 and away at college, she till this day has never lifted a finger lol , when I go to her dorm I see that she is keeping it pretty clean. So they learn from what they see and I think when she is out of the house, A- she will do it , or B- pay someone to clean lol Sorry but most of these girls today want the best life and they pay for it , if they can afford it when they are married..I have a son and my son would NEVER ask his sister to do something she would tell him get off your lazy a** lol

Getting back to your situation she is a child, its good if she wants to learn to be self sufficent, but I agree not to serve a man hand and foot. I believe in doing things out of wanting to not being told to do by a man. The objective is to be a team and do things together. Hey its great if she is learning and likes to do things... No problem with that..

[Necee419]

My MIL is the same way with my stepkids. My 13 year old stepdaughter is forced to wash the dishes and clean up after herself and her brother whenever they stay with her. My stepson is 15 and lays around watching TV and making messes while his sister cleans up after him. One day my stepdaughter objected to her grandmother saying it wasn't fair that she had to do everything and her brother did nothing. My MIL's response was "you are a woman and are going to have to serve your husband one day. He is a man, therefore his woman will take care of him." My stepdaughter said "well grandma, if that is the case, I am never getting married." She made me laugh that day. Whenever they stay with us over the summer, I make them both clean up after themselves. I want them to be able to take care of themselves and not have to depend on anyone to get them anything. There is nothing wrong with teaching girls to be domestic, so long as it is not taught as a duty but rather as a way to self-sufficiency.