The second meeting

[Lindsey]

Thank you Judy. Scott is way too dependent on his mom. He has never even had his hair cut by anyone other than his mom. I keep pushing him to pay $10 and go to a hairdresser instead of going home every month for his mom to cut his hair Heck, I can even cut his hair. I cut my brother's hair and charge him $20 for it! Clippers are not that hard to use!
He also still has all of his mail going to his mom's house and she sorts it for him and files all of his bills and everything. He says it's because he doesn't have a permanent place to change his address to yet. Well I changed my address when I moved out of my parents' house right after high school, and I've changed it every time I moved since then. But anytime he gets mail, he has to go home.
Last night when we talked I told him I only go home maybe 3 or 4 times a year. I usually go home for Christmas, and at least once in the summer to go fishing at the lake and enjoy the cabin. Then if my best friend goes home to visit her mom I usually try to go back to visit her too, because we never see each other. My parents and I have a great relationship now. We talk on the phone maybe a couple of times a week, and we visit whenever they can get to the city. But I don't feel at all that I NEED my parents to do ANYTHING for me. I am independent and they are there to support me in whatever I choose to do with my life. It's just what I'm used to so I feel that it's how it should be.
Anyways, he said he understands that and he might have to cut back a little. He was going to bring his extra set of tires back with us after last weekend so he could change them here (he has winter tires on now that need to come off). It's very easy to change and he had the room to just throw the extra tires in his trunk. His mom said no, he might as well just go back home for a few weeks to do it there and she took out the calendar to tell him which weekend to come home again (April 24th) and he just said "okay"

[Lindsey]

Oh and one other thing... lol I can't believe I'm saying this here... but he told me that he can't even stand up to pee because his mom has always taught him to sit down!!!! I may be naive but I've never known a guy to sit down to pee every time. I always thought girls sit down, boys stand up! Lol did I really just tell you guys that?

[judy]

Originally Posted by Lindsey

Oh and one other thing... lol I can't believe I'm saying this here... but he told me that he can't even stand up to pee because his mom has always taught him to sit down!!!! I may be naive but I've never known a guy to sit down to pee every time. I always thought girls sit down, boys stand up! Lol did I really just tell you guys that?

I had a mentor in grad school who sat down to pee! He used to tell us - he realized when he was raising his daughters that that's a good chance to take a rest. You know - why stand when you can sit?

Poor Scott. Mommy Dearest is getting worser and worser.

Do you love him? Does he love you? Are you willing to stay with him if nothing changes in him? You don't ever have to see the wicked witch, but he may have to. If all that is okay with you, and you both love each other, give it your best. Love is not always fun, but it is what makes the world go round.

[Lindsey]

I do love him. And I'm sure he loves me. We haven't said the words yet but the feeling is there. I want to be with him more than anything. I've never seen my future with someone like I see it with him.

[gja1000]

Well then, you are just going to have to figure out how to make it work. I don't envy you, but as lots of others have said, it can be done. Hey, maybe you'll come to the States, and decide to stay here - THAT would put a lot of distance between you two!

[Mandy]

Hmm... i dont envy you, i personally would not be able to stay polite to her!
There is a huge difference between teasing a person, and being plain insulting, it's pathetic on her part for insulting her own son's GF ~ it says everything and lack of personality, in a way i feel bad for her, poor thing doesnt know any better obviously.
Follow your heart Lindsey, i am sure he really loves you, and who knows what he has had to put up with in the past.
It's not natural for him to feel that "it's wrong" to have a GF, how did mommy dearest meet daddy? I am sure they must have been in love at some point, or else Scott and hes sisters wouldnt be around, or did she find them on her doorstep?

[Lindsey]

I talked to my parents again about this last night and told them how his mom was apologizing like crazy and neither of my parents believed it was genuine. They both pointed out that she wouldn't have acted like that in the first place if it wasn't her true personality. There is no excuse for being that insulting to a person. She is far from perfect, and for being such a religious and church-going person you'd think she would realize it is not her place to judge anyone.
Oh well, I want to be with him and he wants to be with me and I am not letting his mom get in the way of us. Like so many people have said, we need to make a life for ourselves, not just to make our parents happy. And I think I've gotten to the point where I don't care anymore if she likes me or hates me. As long as she can hold back her insults, I'm just going to keep living my life (hopefully with her son!)