I am FRUSTRATED!!!!.......

[Marilyn]

You are not being selfish. I'd find a way to make it work. We had a similiar problem when our girls were small. We had babysat for my husbands brother and his wife for years and thought when we had children, they would be there to reciprocate. Not...They moved 2 hours away while I was pregnant with our first. My sister kept our first baby for a few hours while we had a party, but brought her home before the party was over, so we never tried that again. My parents lived 20 minutes out of town, but were getting too old and we did not want the girls in the car with their grandfather driving, so we were stuck. No family to help out. We did find a reliable paid babysitter, finally, but we did only have two, so it was I'm sure much easier.

You need a break to be a couple every now and then to keep your relationship going without the kids. You may have to split them up for the weekend, but I'd definitely find a way to work this out and go to that party.

Wishing you the very best!!

[magnolia]

I agree with Marilyn - try to find someone who can keep the kids for you for the week-end. I don't know the ages of your kids but check with friends - you may have to put each one in a different home but please, don't feel guilty about doing that!!! The kids will have fun as they will be staying with someone their age that they can play with. You've got some time to work this out and with the party in early December, no one should have plans to be out of town visiting family then so hopefully it will work out.

I realize your frustration over family not helping out. When hubby and I lived in the greater New Orleans area, I didn't have to worry about a sitter for my oldest - he has family out the "wazzoo" down there and they all offered to keep him! When we moved back here, it was a little more difficult. My mother is disabled due to severe arthritis in her knees and just couldn't keep up with an active 2 year old - then a year later, the youngest came along. I thought my sister would offer to help out as I ALWAYS kept her 2 while she went and played softball or whatever but each time I asked her, she had other plans! I, too, found a very reliable paid babysitter and she didn't charge much at all.....she was a widow who truly loves children (her's were all teenagers at the time) and a lot of times would keep my boys because SHE wanted to, not because we had plans. She truly was a godsend to us.

I know things will work out for you - will be praying that they do. As frustrated as you are now, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Please keep us posted on how things work out. If I lived closer, I'd keep your kids (yes, ALL of them) for the week-end

[Janet]

Sorry you're having a difficult time with this. Are there any friends that have older teenagers that wouldn't mind coming to your home....Would this be just for over night or from Friday til Sunday? Is there someone in your church family that would be able to help out....keep asking around so you'll have plenty of time to find someone you trust. What about all the other couples going to the party? Wouldn't it be nice if they found someone for all the kids...kind of like a slumber party for them??? Just wanted to help with some ideas.

[Mandy]

Oh you definatly need some time away, i can imagine it must be hard with 4 kids to find a babysitter.
There just has to be a solution, keep all your options open. You deserve a break!!