What a week...

[Marilyn]

Last week was quite a week. Last Sunday morning we received a very disturbing call from our oldest daughter. An old boyfriend was dead. First report was an accident, however, we learned later that it was no accident. He had committed suicide by laying in front of a train. Karen dated him for 4 years. All pictures from prom, homecoming, church youth group trips, summer camp, are her with this young man. For a time they were a very cute couple, and we all thought they would marry someday. She broke up with him during her second year of college. He had started drinking and using drugs. He had failed to complete high school, and for her, the drugs were the last straw. While they were dating, his parents, us and two other couples were very close friends. His parents, however, divorced his senior year, and he went from being an honor student and star football player to giving up on most of his dreams. It was a very sad situation, and we all tried to help him and his parents, but they were all so stubborn, that our help was not appreciated and advice fell on deaf ears. (His mother had met a man on Yahoo games, and she had snuck off to Michigan to visit him. He eventually moved here and they lived together for a couple of years. She has since met another man in Egypt, and has flown there twice now to visit him. It's unbelievable what some people will do.)

We never expected this phone call, though. He had continued to contact our daughter over the years. It had been 5 years since they broke up, and she had changed her cell phone number 3 or 4 times to try to keep him from contacting her. She tried to be his friend, and through it all, he considered her to be his best friend. Three weeks ago, two weeks before he died, they had talked and finally he had agreed to stop calling her. Just before classes resumed this fall, she had spent some time with us, and one day she told me that she had over 10 missed calls from him just that one day, and thought she would have to change her number again.

Many of his friends say now that they saw the signs, but no one had listened to him. It's so sad. He had so much potential, but made some really horrible decisions. We all attended the funeral on Thursday, and hope that we never have to do anything like that again. He was 23 years old. He made a very final and permanent decision rather than deal with temorary problems.

We fault his parents, especially his mother. They are very selfish people and rather than sacrifice for their children, indulged themselves and made this mess. Their once beautiful daughter is living with a drug dealer and is 5 months pregnant. A few years ago, this was your average, church going, beautiful family. So so sad.

[DianaB]

Oh how sad. What an emotional week you've had. I'm just at a loss of words to write. How sad that past decisions have affected this family in such a way. It truly was a downward spiral. Give Karen a hug. I'm sure that she's dealing with so many thoughts.

[judy]

That is a tragedy Marilyn! I am so sorry for this young man. I hope Karen gets through this okay.

My first love also committed suicide. This was many years ago. It broke my heart when I found out, but I did know that he was emotionally fragile. I will always be very sad about it, but I did not allow it to affect my life. I know that Karen will do the same.

[gja1000]

I'm so sorry - what an ordeal and what a tragedy for all involved. It's just unthinkable. Karen may feel some guilt that maybe she could have/should have helped him. But I know she did all she could and probably way more. I'm so sorry she is having to deal with this. I have heard it said that suicide is the ultimate act of selfishness and it seems the whole family is a victim of the same selfish perspective.

[Shada]

What a horrible sad ending.

[Marilyn]

It's like he took her and many of his friends on a roller coaster ride and this was the ultimate hurt.

Judy, I'm so sorry about your experience. You can Karen could probably so relate.

[pope1982]

Sorry for your familys loss Marilyn. It's so sad when people get so lost and feel so alone. You guys did all you could.