new friend... or not

[Lindsey]

Sometimes I don't know where I'd be without this forum! Thank you all so much for being here for me.
My ex who I dated for just over a year when I was 18/19 years old is still a very good friend of mine. I talked to him today about how upset I was so he took me out for lunch in a fancy restaurant and then we went for a drive. I came home and slept for a few hours, and calmed down a little. The girl started talking to me over msn and asked me to go to her house for coffee tonight but I declined. She then asked if I wanted to go for coffee tomorrow and see her new bike, so I said I'd see if I would wake up in time. Then she told me she was cleaning out her closet and found a bunch of clothes that don't fit her anymore, so they're mine if I want them. She just seems so DESPERATE for a friend, but I just don't think she knows how to be a friend...
Anyways, the ex from lunch called again tonight and said he wanted ice cream and he'd pick me up if I wanted to join him so we went and got some ice cream and hung out for awhile again, and then I talked to my best friend on the phone for an hour. It's good to know that even when people move away and grow apart in their new lives, when you really need someone your true friends will always come back if you need them.

[Janet]

You know Lindsey, you could always be honest with this 'friend' and in a kind way let her know how you're feeling about where the friendship is going. It would be sad for you to just keep putting her off, I mean she'll figure it out eventually, but why keep putting yourself in that position, to keep making excuses. You can be honest with her without being unkind.

[Chandra Amaya]

sounds like you have alot of old friends that were much better to be around. I'm glad you are having fun. Keep it up. Everytime you laugh you make the next one come more easily.

[rivermom]

Awww Lindsey, I just read this entire story and I am sorry you've met the wrong kind of girl friend. It clearly sounds like she has no respect for you because of getting to close to your brother.

Id stay clear from her, I think it's in your best interest.

You have fun with your "true" friends.

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by Lindsey

It's good to know that even when people move away and grow apart in their new lives, when you really need someone your true friends will always come back if you need them.

That's great Lindsey! I'm glad you've had some good support the past few days. Sounds like you've got some good friends in your life.

[Marilyn]

LIndsey, we are all thinking of you, and we know that you are a very intelligent young lady who will make the right decision and do the right thing. So glad you have 4WT to help you and your dear true friends who are stepping up to support you!!!

[Chandra Amaya]

Originally Posted by Marilyn

LIndsey, we are all thinking of you, and we know that you are a very intelligent young lady who will make the right decision and do the right thing. So glad you have 4WT to help you and your dear true friends who are stepping up to support you!!!

very true Marilyn. Great post!!

[Mandy]

Originally Posted by Marilyn

LIndsey, we are all thinking of you, and we know that you are a very intelligent young lady who will make the right decision and do the right thing. So glad you have 4WT to help you and your dear true friends who are stepping up to support you!!!

I agree with Marilyn. Treasure the good friends you have Lindsey, and let go of the others, you dont need people in your life that drag you down, you really dont.

[Lindsey]

I know I need to hang on to the friends who have always been around for me, but I really really wish for some girl friends here in my city. The only girl friends I have live hours away and it's so hard sometimes to even get them on the phone because we all have our busy lives. I guess I just jumped the gun with this new girl because I wanted a friend here so badly...

[Chandra Amaya]

Originally Posted by Lindsey

I know I need to hang on to the friends who have always been around for me, but I really really wish for some girl friends here in my city. The only girl friends I have live hours away and it's so hard sometimes to even get them on the phone because we all have our busy lives. I guess I just jumped the gun with this new girl because I wanted a friend here so badly...

aww I understand what you mean. I have made several "friends" just because they lived near me. I have found one good one & several that were a waste of time.

[Lindsey]

I've got quite a few guy friends here, and they're great to hang out with. They just aren't the kind of people I can cry in front of, and talk about how badly my heart is broken. And really, that's all I want to vent about right now. I've done a lot of venting here already, and I know that I should be over it and I thought I was for awhile but I think I was just denying to myself that it still hurt. I opened up and spilled everything to this girl on the first night we met! I need to be more careful about who i trust.

[Chandra Amaya]

that's so hard to do though when you just need someone to talk to. I have no friends here either. When you have 4 kids people stop wanting to come visit you. That's one reason I was so glad Angie told me about 4WT. It helps tremendously but its still not quite the same.

[Gina]

Lindsey I agree with the other ladies, you have to disassociate yourself real soon, You will get a reputation hanging out with her, she is not a moral person if she slept with that many guys and she is only 23 yrs. old. This girl has big issues, I think that she is using sex to hide something in her life. She slept with your brother knowing him one night, imagine if you are dating someone , would you trust her? If you don't want to continue to stay with her just be upfront and tell her that you don't want to go away with her and for now that you are busy. Let her off easy without hurting her feelings.

[Lindsey]

I am horrible at confronting people. I always want everyone to like me, and I know I shouldn't let myself be walked over my whole life but it's tough to change.

[Lindsey]

Okay so she's talking to me now... she just asked out of nowhere if I'm mad at her. I told her "Honestly, I was pretty upset over the brother thing." I'm going to copy and paste what she said... "k, and that was totally stupid of me to do, ive never done taht before, but he inniciated everything,(which is no excuse) and i feel really bad and i dont wanna lose a friend over that. so IM SOOOOOOOO SORRY. can we still be friends and best friends" I told her it would just be awkward for me to be friends with her and have my brother around and she said "then he doesnt have to be around, come to my place, HAHAHAHA I FINALLY CLEANED IT. and dont feel awkward when your bro is around, hes the only one that should feel awkward. ok, now that we have said that, and your good??????? (send back yes or no)"
I don't know what to do. Give her another chance? Or is it not worth it?