My son's friend

[judy]

Thank God your son is okay. I'm so sorry about the others who were hurt and even killed.

It is, I have learned, as hard to let go and let them grow up as it is to raise them.
If my daughter and I were on good terms, I would be up her butt for sure now that she's sick! I probably would be living in the same town as her, worrying constantly.

I remember the first day she got her car and took it out alone. I was on the beach having a very quiet nervous breakdown since I was in public. Sheryl - you put it perfectly "Place that bottled up fear into an angel's hands and try to relax."

As I sat there, freaking out, I realized I better call in my angels. I gave it over to them, and I told my mother (who I had not gotten along with when she was alive at all), that if she made sure that Jessie was okay, I would forgive her.

So far, Jessie has never been in an accident!

[Mandy]

Judy, so true. It IS as hard to let them grow up, as it is to raise them. Placing that bottled up fear in angels hands is something i am going to have to do.

He gave himself away yesterday, we were driving home when my husband asked him, wheres that shooting club you visited with school, lets go see if they open, so we can go, and have a look.
He showed us, from there he said "oh you dont need to go back to the main road, take the back road"
I asked him, how he knew hes way around there, because i would get lost there, he said, hes been there with Mark. Now those roads are used for races by these kids, and so dangerous, theres tractors coming/going all day long, pulling up from these little side roads, and there are many of those crossings, so i told him never ever to go there again ~ seriously, i dont think i even want to know where they all hang out.

[judy]

Mandy,

That's another thing. My daughter and I were very close, and as she was becoming a young woman, she was comfortable telling me certain stories I really didn't want to hear. I finally just started laughing and told her, "Honey, I love you, and I'm glad you're spreading your wings, but I am your mother and really can't know about (you can fill in the rest)." I told her she would understand when she had her own children and to just take my word for it.

If a bit of denial and delusion helps get us through the day, then go for it.

If my own mother had any idea about what I really did, I wouldn't be here typing!

[Mandy]

Judy ~ so true LOL... if our mom's knew everything
Many times, my brother, and myself talk about "those days" ... i know things about him, i would never in a million years share with my mom - and he knows everything about me, most of those things he will take to hes grave one day, unshared with anyone.

[katepoet]

My mother always listened to everything - poor thing!

[judy]

Did you ever think that she really wasn't listening at all? I've very often had an entire "conversation" with my students, and certain adults, where I could never tell you what they had been talking about. Just tuned them right out and said mmhmm in appropriate places.

[katepoet]

Unfortunately, she took it all in! Now that I am a parent, I know there are places I just don't want to go. But I do think my parents were going along with the parenting advice of the 60's. Hopefully, we've modified that into something that works better - social evolution.