4WomenTalk Forums Community for Women  

4WomenTalk.com Home Forums Start Page Forums Chat Chat Frequently Asked Questions FAQ Member List Members List
Go Back   4WomenTalk Forums Community for Women > 4WomenTalk Forums > Relationships

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-23-2006, 12:02 PM   #16
Janet
Moderator
Donating 4WT 18K Club Member
 
Janet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: INDIANA
Posts: 21,624
Send a message via MSN to Janet Send a message via Yahoo to Janet
Did you find the new thread I started ladies??? If not, then hop to it!!!! Time to be honest with your husbands flaws!!
__________________
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1
Janet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-23-2006, 04:07 PM   #17
Amber_lv
Senior Member
 
Amber_lv's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Salt Lake
Posts: 983
My hubby is really good about this he doesn't say anything rude to me.
Amber_lv is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-30-2006, 05:52 PM   #18
sashajade
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
my other half never says anything bad about me, he thinks everythings cute lol even down to my poo lol
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-30-2006, 05:56 PM   #19
sashajade
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by Janet
Did you find the new thread I started ladies??? If not, then hop to it!!!! Time to be honest with your husbands flaws!!
hun can i just ask are you still with your husband? and if so WHY? you could get so much better if my partner said he wanted to divorce me cos id put on weight id pack his bag and call the cab for him.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2006, 03:44 AM   #20
Janet
Moderator
Donating 4WT 18K Club Member
 
Janet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: INDIANA
Posts: 21,624
Send a message via MSN to Janet Send a message via Yahoo to Janet
Quote:
Originally Posted by sashajade
hun can i just ask are you still with your husband? and if so WHY? you could get so much better if my partner said he wanted to divorce me cos id put on weight id pack his bag and call the cab for him.
Yes, we're still together. Why? who knows, 32 years of marriage 4 years of dating before that. Back when he said that, we had only been married a short time and I was laid off from my job. I ate, so I gained weight. I guess it wasn't what he bargained for. You get past things if you care about someone.

Too many years have passed now, and it just would take so long to explain it all. Don't worry, as years went by, I was able to put him in his place now and again.
__________________
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1
Janet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2006, 05:39 AM   #21
rivermom
Donating 4WT 500 Club Member
 
rivermom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Tontitown, Arkansas
Posts: 2,475
Quote:
Originally Posted by Janet
Yes, we're still together. Why? who knows, 32 years of marriage 4 years of dating before that. Back when he said that, we had only been married a short time and I was laid off from my job. I ate, so I gained weight. I guess it wasn't what he bargained for. You get past things if you care about someone.

Too many years have passed now, and it just would take so long to explain it all. Don't worry, as years went by, I was able to put him in his place now and again.

I think at times it's so easy for others looking in to say this or that. Only YOU know what you want and what you are satisified with. Janet, you know your life and what you expect out of it. I can respect that. I admit, I too have sat back and thought to myself "gosh, why does Janet tolerate some of the things she does in her marriage?". But I don't live in your shoes.

It's just like a dear friend of mine. She is in a marriage with a man who does nothing but cheat on her...A LOT!! She decides to stay in the marriage for so many reasons. (not financial ones either) I always tell her it's not my place to tell her what she should and shouldn't do, it's her life. All I tell her is I want her to be happy and satisified with her life and her choices. Isn't that what we all want for our ownselves?

My own life I live 99% of the ladies on here would not agree with. But I've made choices for my ownself that I have found peace with. I've made many sacrafices in my life but had to set my priorites as to what was most important. Not saying I don't have regrets...But i did what I felt was best. We all do that.

Life is not perfect, we just do the best we can.
__________________
~_/>
, /\/\ ,,, Sheryl
When I grow up I want to be a horse whisperer!
rivermom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2006, 06:38 AM   #22
Janet
Moderator
Donating 4WT 18K Club Member
 
Janet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: INDIANA
Posts: 21,624
Send a message via MSN to Janet Send a message via Yahoo to Janet
Exactly Sheryl!!! My marriage isn't horrible, it is just that some wouldn't put up with what I have put up with. But then again, maybe no one would want to put up with me either. I'm a perfectionist and that can be a rough life for a mate. Never being able to measure up. That's okay. We all have our limitations.

My first reason for marrying was to get out of my parents house at age 19. Secondly I did love him very much. But in my opinion now....I was still a kid. I really think there should be a law that at age 25 you can marry....LOL

As time went on I found other things I loved about him, great provider, very nice to all my friends...very supportive and a host of other things. The things that drove me away alot, is the everyday things..helping out around the house, fixing things when they need fixed, not waiting until it costs double to get it done, not really caring if he lived in a dump or the nice clean house I keep. Hoarding money for himself, while I would have to put things in lay-away. After all these years, no matter how much discussion was held, these things haven't changed. He always understood and changed for a week or so, but then back to what he did before. When you look at how his family was growing up... it's what he learned. Am I miserable...no, do I want to start over....no. I have other things in my life now, I've grown up since that 19 year old got married. I also, put money back (he doesn't know). You see, I'm not that naive little girl anymore and learned that we can make our own happiness, no one does that for you.

Yes, I still care about him, in love...no, not so much. But who's to say those feelings won't return. For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, all those vows were taken before God and they mean something. I may complain, he may too for that matter, but we're still here, together, still a very good family. It's not so bad, but who's life would I trade it for?? No one that I know of is perfect. And who really knows what goes on behind closed doors. Even the ones we think are perfect, aren't....no matter what they try to lead us to believe.
__________________
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1
Janet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2006, 09:59 AM   #23
jane
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I'm not married yet so I can't exactly contribute to this, but I do have a story. lol I was dating this guy for about 3 years and somewhere in those 3 years he told me I was chubby and told me that I should lose some weight. I was about 145lbs at the time...that's not over weight OR chubby when you are 5'7. I didn't look chubby, I just ate a lot. I have a high metabolism. Things kinda got rough about that time and a while later we had broken up. I'll never be with someone that says stuff like that. It really hurt my self esteem and it took a while to get over. The current guy I'm dating would never say anything like that. When he heard that story he actually got mad about it. *sigh* i learned my lesson about dating jerks.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2006, 10:32 AM   #24
Tiger Lily
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
my fiance & I call eachother all kinds of names like chubby butt, fatso & even reply to eachothers statements with things like "so, at least I'm not as fat as you" or "so, at least my butt doesn't weigh 100 pounds like yours". But its all in good fun! We honestly eat lunch & dinner together everyday so if I pig out, so does he so to speak. Plus, we work out together. Neither of us is skinny or fat....just right in between. Now, if I ever thought he really meant it....I'd beat him up!
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2006, 11:15 AM   #25
sashajade
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by Janet
Yes, we're still together. Why? who knows, 32 years of marriage 4 years of dating before that. Back when he said that, we had only been married a short time and I was laid off from my job. I ate, so I gained weight. I guess it wasn't what he bargained for. You get past things if you care about someone.

Too many years have passed now, and it just would take so long to explain it all. Don't worry, as years went by, I was able to put him in his place now and again.
im glad you stick up for your self and im glad your content with your life, yes its true you can get over a lot of things if you love someone. maybe its cos im 31 and have a different view on things and what i see as a partnership also the fact that i saw my mum with 2 bad partners and i vowed i would never put up with that and im gone as soon as i see the first warning signs, my mum split from her second partner after 14 years together i saw all bad but she saw some good in him but that was untill she and him split up and she could see what we all saw, she said she wanted a happy life and was looking foward to the future without him but sadly 6 months later she died of cancer aged just 53, so i watched my mum waist her very short life on 2 men that didnt deserve her so maybe im over sencertive on things like this, im sorry if you thought i was putting your husband down i wasnt, you know him not me and im sorry if it upset you.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2006, 12:26 PM   #26
Janet
Moderator
Donating 4WT 18K Club Member
 
Janet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: INDIANA
Posts: 21,624
Send a message via MSN to Janet Send a message via Yahoo to Janet
Quote:
Originally Posted by sashajade
im glad you stick up for your self and im glad your content with your life, yes its true you can get over a lot of things if you love someone. maybe its cos im 31 and have a different view on things and what i see as a partnership also the fact that i saw my mum with 2 bad partners and i vowed i would never put up with that and im gone as soon as i see the first warning signs, my mum split from her second partner after 14 years together i saw all bad but she saw some good in him but that was untill she and him split up and she could see what we all saw, she said she wanted a happy life and was looking foward to the future without him but sadly 6 months later she died of cancer aged just 53, so i watched my mum waist her very short life on 2 men that didnt deserve her so maybe im over sencertive on things like this, im sorry if you thought i was putting your husband down i wasnt, you know him not me and im sorry if it upset you.

No, No, No, I wasn't upset at all. I think it's great that so many young women, early on will stand up for themselves and not put up with it. I got my backbone later on in the marriage, it's all okay. I'm still a very happy person for the most part. But who's happy all the time? I welcome anyones opinion anytime, so don't ever think I get upset about something like that.

Now if you were a mean woman with a brat of a son that rode my bus...that's another story.....LOLOLOL
__________________
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1
Janet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2006, 12:57 PM   #27
Mandy
Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member
 
Mandy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Who cares!
Posts: 4,587
Quote:
Originally Posted by Janet
Exactly Sheryl!!! My marriage isn't horrible, it is just that some wouldn't put up with what I have put up with. But then again, maybe no one would want to put up with me either. I'm a perfectionist and that can be a rough life for a mate. Never being able to measure up. That's okay. We all have our limitations.

My first reason for marrying was to get out of my parents house at age 19. Secondly I did love him very much. But in my opinion now....I was still a kid. I really think there should be a law that at age 25 you can marry....LOL

As time went on I found other things I loved about him, great provider, very nice to all my friends...very supportive and a host of other things. The things that drove me away alot, is the everyday things..helping out around the house, fixing things when they need fixed, not waiting until it costs double to get it done, not really caring if he lived in a dump or the nice clean house I keep. Hoarding money for himself, while I would have to put things in lay-away. After all these years, no matter how much discussion was held, these things haven't changed. He always understood and changed for a week or so, but then back to what he did before. When you look at how his family was growing up... it's what he learned. Am I miserable...no, do I want to start over....no. I have other things in my life now, I've grown up since that 19 year old got married. I also, put money back (he doesn't know). You see, I'm not that naive little girl anymore and learned that we can make our own happiness, no one does that for you.

Yes, I still care about him, in love...no, not so much. But who's to say those feelings won't return. For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, all those vows were taken before God and they mean something. I may complain, he may too for that matter, but we're still here, together, still a very good family. It's not so bad, but who's life would I trade it for?? No one that I know of is perfect. And who really knows what goes on behind closed doors. Even the ones we think are perfect, aren't....no matter what they try to lead us to believe.


I'm positivly sure you love your hubby, if you didnt you wouldnt be with him anymore.
See, after years of marriage, we don't always have those "butterflies" anymore, but the "inlove" changes to "love" .... every married couple have their ups and downs, now if anyone tells me " they have the perfect marriage" i would either want to take a crash course with them, or i would tell them they talking BS, because no marriage can be absolutly perfect, at times we all disagree with our spouses.
__________________
Many people will walk in and out your life, but only true friends leave footprints!
Mandy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2006, 01:23 PM   #28
sashajade
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by Janet
No, No, No, I wasn't upset at all. I think it's great that so many young women, early on will stand up for themselves and not put up with it. I got my backbone later on in the marriage, it's all okay. I'm still a very happy person for the most part. But who's happy all the time? I welcome anyones opinion anytime, so don't ever think I get upset about something like that.

Now if you were a mean woman with a brat of a son that rode my bus...that's another story.....LOLOLOL
im glad i didnt upset you lol er nop that wasnt me on the bus but if i see her i will give her a kick up the bum for ya lol
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2006, 01:56 PM   #29
Janet
Moderator
Donating 4WT 18K Club Member
 
Janet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: INDIANA
Posts: 21,624
Send a message via MSN to Janet Send a message via Yahoo to Janet
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandy
I'm positivly sure you love your hubby, if you didnt you wouldnt be with him anymore.
See, after years of marriage, we don't always have those "butterflies" anymore, but the "inlove" changes to "love" .... every married couple have their ups and downs, now if anyone tells me " they have the perfect marriage" i would either want to take a crash course with them, or i would tell them they talking BS, because no marriage can be absolutly perfect, at times we all disagree with our spouses.
You are such a sweatheart!!!!
__________________
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1
Janet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2006, 01:57 PM   #30
Janet
Moderator
Donating 4WT 18K Club Member
 
Janet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: INDIANA
Posts: 21,624
Send a message via MSN to Janet Send a message via Yahoo to Janet
Quote:
Originally Posted by sashajade
im glad i didnt upset you lol er nop that wasnt me on the bus but if i see her i will give her a kick up the bum for ya lol
She's not very tall, so you wouldn't have to kick very high....LOLOL
__________________
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1
Janet is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:38 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Copyright ©2006-2008 4WomenTalk.com