we are fighting!!!!

me and my mom just had a big fight over the fact i let my oldest daughter who is almost eleven shave her legs tonight (i bought her the veet bladeless kit) now she's saying that i dohn't have any control over my children and that in two years my oldest dtr will be having sex and all that and she's now saying that i don't show her any respect!!!!

By the time my daughter was that age her legs were black from all the hair it took like 6 razors to get it all, I do not think your child will have sex in 3 years just because she shave her legs yeah right. This is your child you are her mother your mother is the grandmother, you need to raise your child the way you want to. If it was me I would say thanks for the advise mom but I will raise her the way I think is best. hope I don't hurt anyones feeling.

[Jlynn]

Sorry to hear your fighting with your mom. But, I have to agree with Ellen. This is YOUR child.

thanks ya'll i was feeling like a bad mom for a little while...she was getting long black hairs on her legs and she takes tennis twice a week plus p.e. at school and with the shorts and skirts it was really bothering her. she was so happy to shave her legs...she's laying on my bed rubbing her legs and grinning right now. it's just my mom makes me feel so bad sometimes then when she started saying in two years my dtr. will want to be on the pill and have sex it just chapped my ass!!! she says i don't have control of my children and i let them do whatever they want and in the long run they will not respect me just as i am not respecting her now. i have asked many friends and they all said let her shave and i even started a thread about it here. she was just really unhappy with her hairy legs and it upset her enough to talk to me about it. i want my dtr to be able to talk to me about things that bother her so i can help instead of being a hindrance you know?

[Necee419]

Your mom is obviously from a much more conservative and (no offense) backward generation. These were the same women who thought you can lose your virginity from using tampons. (I know because I have many in my family ). You need to do what is best for YOUR child. While her advice is respected, ultimately you make all the final decisions. As for your daughter having sex just because she shaved her legs, that is ridiculous.

[Mandy]

Sorry you had an argument with your Mom, i think it's difficult for older people to understand this young generation. My parents are often in conflict with my son because they have a hard time understanding kids these days.

[Marilyn]

Just wanted to ditto what has been said here. I don't think any study would find any corrilation between what age a girl shaved her legs and when she had sex.

My daughters shaved their legs, pierced their ears, even cartlidge piercings in middle school, had purple & blue streaks in their hair durring the summer. We are very religiously conservative, and my girls always and still do dress modestly. You have to give them some harmless outlets that help them to fit in or feel a little radical. If you supress them too much then they do rebell and may want to fit in by having sex at an early age.

Surprizingly, when some of the old ladies at church ask, isn't that your daughter with the purple hair & I said yes, their response was, go girl. They knew my girls were nice and that a little purple dye is harmless.

I don't know if my mother would have approved or not, she passed away before my girls got to this age, but you have to do what YOU think is best. Only you know what your daughter needs.

[Janet]

I agree totally with everyone. You can respect your mothers feelings and ideas, but ultimately it is your responsiblity to do what you feel is best. It is so easy for others to judge when they don't actually live day to day in another family. We all have different ideas, but doesn't make either one wrong, just different. I know my mother is the same way in everything. I've learned through the years to pick and choose what I tell her. I think from now on it should be a lesson learned that when it comes to something personal like this.. we should just go ahead and do what we feel is best and let the grandparents grow old gracefully.......

[RLC12345678]

I would not worry about what your mother thinks. Things have changed so much since you were young and your mother was raising you. My grandmother (my mom's mom) always gives my mom a hard time about how she is raising us. My grandmother even called me a SLUT one time! But, we realize that she is old fashioned so we just ignore her. Don't worry about it! Just tell your mom that you respect her opinion, but things are different now. Don't make a big deal about it and your mom will soon drop it.

Originally Posted by RLC12345678

I would not worry about what your mother thinks. Things have changed so much since you were young and your mother was raising you. My grandmother (my mom's mom) always gives my mom a hard time about how she is raising us. My grandmother even called me a SLUT one time! But, we realize that she is old fashioned so we just ignore her. Don't worry about it! Just tell your mom that you respect her opinion, but things are different now. Don't make a big deal about it and your mom will soon drop it.

OMG!!! i would have old her to wash her mouth out with ivory soap and stuck my nose up in the air and said "real ladies don't speak like that!!!" i love to be a back-sasser!!! how old were you at the time? and what did your mom say to her when she said it??? poor baby.....

[Amber_lv]

Well she is your child and mothers have a way of being to nosey and controlling about this stuff you know giving a suggestion is fine but in the end it's your decision! Shaving her legs is not going to lead to sex i started shaving very early and it wasn't a sexual thing i was sick of the hair! Just kindly remind her who carried your daughter for 9 months and pushed her out she raised you now you must raise your own. Good luck and don't feel bad

theres nothing wrong with that i think most girls start shaving at that age

[RLC12345678]

Originally Posted by ice queen

OMG!!! i would have old her to wash her mouth out with ivory soap and stuck my nose up in the air and said "real ladies don't speak like that!!!" i love to be a back-sasser!!! how old were you at the time? and what did your mom say to her when she said it??? poor baby.....

Oh, I was 18. My grandmother is just plain mean. My mom is SOOOO laid back and we are used to her being mean. We just laugh and shrug it off. Nothing she says surprises us anymore.

[Mandy]

Originally Posted by Amber_lv

Well she is your child and mothers have a way of being to nosey and controlling about this stuff you know giving a suggestion is fine but in the end it's your decision! Shaving her legs is not going to lead to sex i started shaving very early and it wasn't a sexual thing i was sick of the hair! Just kindly remind her who carried your daughter for 9 months and pushed her out she raised you now you must raise your own. Good luck and don't feel bad

I agree! Mothers tend to be controlling and very nosey!

I'm sure my Mother would love to be a fly on my walls LOL

[magnolia]

There's nothing more I can add to what has already been written. As stated, she is YOUR daughter and YOU make the decisions you feel are in the best interest of her and yourself. I guess I was kinda lucky with my mom - she was the only girl with 3 older brothers so, despite the era she grew up in (late 40's early 50's), she is laid back - and she was a preacher's wife!!! (my dad passed away almost 22 years ago). And with me and my sisters being PK's (preacher's kids), we were not raised in an extremely strict house. Oh, we knew the rules and obeyed them - most of the time - but we were good kids. My mom was the one to suggest to me and my younger sister on getting our ears pierced! I was 11 and my younger sister was 9 and her mom paid for it (was our christmas present from her)!!! I shaved my legs at age 11 or 12, can't remember exactly but know it was around that time. Back then, there were no special kits or razors so I experienced MANY cuts and nicks. Oh, and my mom bought my first make-up when I was 13 and I hadn't even asked for any - it was just powder and blush but I felt so proud By doing what you did for your daughter in letting her start shaving, you've shown her you understand HER feelings at this point in her life - you've not "forbidden" anything and in my opinion, you're keeping those lines of communication open between the two of you which is missing with a lot of kids today. Keep your head held high - as long as you feel you did the right thing, then you did!!