I don't want to be unrealistic...but I'm pulling my daughter out of her day care...

[toodles]

**************a few of you may have read this on YT************ sorry

I found cigarette butts in my daughters room. When I asked her where she got them, she said "Ms. Brenda's". I said "what were you doing with them???" She was so embarrassed and didn't want to tell me but she finally told me she was pretending. she is 6 years old!!!!!!!!!! I then asked her where she was playing with them and she said "ms. Brenda's". I asked her if she was playing by herself with them and she said no, that there were other kids doing it too. she has been going to this day care all summer...and the adults smoke when they are outside with the kids. in front of the kids.

well, i hope no one here gets offended by this but I am not a smoker...I DESPISE it...and I am VERY angry about this.

first of all, I want to know if they saw the kids playing with these. and IF they did...why didn't they contact the parents and tell them what was happening so that the parents can talk to the children?? and IF they did NOT see them....WHY???? are they not watching the kids????? am I being too sensitive? I am freaking out here. I watched my grandmother die in front of my eyes because she smoked. I cannot stand the thought that my daughter might think this is "cool" or something.

OMG..I am truly freaking out. i don't want to over-react but I seriously do not think I can take my daughter there anymore. I know she will be exposed to smoking...and I do not typically shelter my daughter. But I can't justify taking my child somewhere, paying them a LOT of money to watch my kid, and them obviously not be watching them...and in my eyes, encouraging bad behavior. I mean, if they want to smoke, they are adults and I am not EVER going to tell them not to do it...but I do feel that as a parent, I do have the right to ask them not to do it in front of my child...when they are supposed to be setting a good example for the children. I mean, in essense, they are helping to raise my child. I do not smoke...I do not condone it in my house...why would I want someone who is responsible for instilling values in my child while I am away at work during the days to do it around her??? I just think they should have the decency to do it AWAY from the children. not right there in front of them...all day every day. I have been taking Trinity there for a long time. She used to go there every day until she started school, now it is just summers. But I don't want to take her there anymore. I have always been uncomfortable with the fact that they smoke around the kids. I have always thought it was a bad example for the children. and now it is proving to be true. I should have said something a LONG time ago. I am tempted to call the state board where she is licensed and ask them if it is against any policy's to smoke in the childrens presence. They do not smoke inside...but during the summer, the kids are outside ALL THE TIME and they adults just light up right there in front of them.

am I crazy????

[highlans]

you are not crazy you should take this further speak to who ever is in charge they are subjecting your daughter to passive smokeing and that is not right.

I used to work in child care here in the u.k and smoker's were not allowed to smoke at all whilst at work, even after a person has put one out it can still affect someone close to them for up to half an hour after. At six your daughter cannot protect herself so take this further.

[DianaB]

It sounds like you've had your doubts about this daycare anyway so I would be checking into finding a new one. When you check out another daycare ask about their smoking policy around the kids.

[Tink]

If this is the only issue you've had with this provider, I'd go and discuss it with them. Many kids are neglected, abused, etc in daycare... this seems like an issue you can do something about if all else is good. God only knows what the next place might be.

Good luck!

[toodles]

Originally Posted by Tink

God only knows what the next place might be.

I completely agree!!
I did talk to her yesterday. She is begging me not to pull Trinity out. She says she will make whatever changes needed to make it a better place. She immediately told me (without me asking) that she will ban herself and her workers from smoking in the presence of the kids. She said they will only be allowed to smoke upstairs in her kitchen (which is completely closed off from the day care area) or on the balcony (which is completely away from the children's vision). She offered several solutions and assured me it would not be a problem any longer. After talking to a few people about this, we have decided to give it another chance and see if ms brenda does change things. she said "effective immediately", so I assume this means i will see the changes the next time i go there.

[Tink]

I'm so glad Toodles. No one wants their kids to be at risk, so anything you can do to help is going to help ALL the kids in their care.

[DianaB]

I'm glad that you talked to her and, hopefully, things will be better.

[toodles]

today I got there to pick my daughter up and ms. brenda pulled me aside and thanked me again for calling her on this. she said she feels so good about her decisions to change the way some things were done and she can't thank me enough for my phone call. she said she appreciates me being comfortable enough to bring it to her attention...where some parents may not be...and would just never come back...and then the problem never gets solved.

i appreciated her pulling me aside like that...it meant a lot.

[highlans]

Glad it turned out for you

[judy]

That's great. You did the right thing, which took courage. Most people would have just pulled their child out, disrupting the child and chancing a worse situation.

Maybe Ms. Brenda can give a brief lesson to the children on why smoking is bad and
that they've decided to stop.

wow i would think it would be against the law to smoke on property of a daycare.

[katepoet]

Hope it continues to get better and better

[highlans]

Yes Toodles how are things?

[HALEY]

Originally Posted by scoob

wow i would think it would be against the law to smoke on property of a daycare.

What they should of done was have a designated smoking area for there workers that do smoke, i am a smoker and we do have rights to smoke, even thou there getting limited more and more these days, which i don't approve of, but anyways, when she first took her child to this daycare didn't she notice that the employees were smoking?? and the child has been there for awhile, she should of said something months ago instead of letting it go if it bothered her that much. i have a soon to be one year old, and like i said my husband and i both smoke, we smoke in our basement when were at home in the winter time and we smoke outside in the summer time, i try to keep the smoke away from my son, but my mother and father also smoke they have smoke eaters at the house, and they smoke in there house its' there house and there is nothing i can do about it, but i'm not keeping there grandson away from them cause they do smoke, and yes my son will see me smoking when he gets older, it's just me i tried to quit 4-5 times and i was the most miserable person you would ever want to be around. it's just me and i can't change that right now, maybe one day i'll try to quit again, but i guess it's better for my son to see me smoke than be an alcoholic or a drug addict, i could be worse but Thank God im not.

[judy]

Well then my wish for you for 2008 is that you find a way to help you stop smoking.
I did it about 15 years ago and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do!