It's going to be an awkward night

[Lindsey]

Well, tonight I'm going to a steak night to raise money for Kyle's hockey team. I was really excited about it until I found out my ex has decided to go, along with his new girlfriend. I don't know if I SHOULD care, but I do. I don't want to see him. It's not that I'm not over him because I definitely am. I don't like to say that I hate anybody, but I have a lot of angry feelings for him.
I didn't know how he treated me until after we were over and done with. Then I found out about all the things he was telling his friends about me WHILE we were together. Stuff he swore he wouldn't tell anyone, somehow all his friends knew about! Things tend to slip out of Kyle sometimes. A couple weeks ago we had a big fight and almost broke up in the parking lot of a restaurant where we met for lunch. He said that Ryden just told him that I'm not over him yet! I haven't talked to him in 6 months! Anyways, Kyle got over that I guess, but I had to come back to work with red eyes from crying. It just feels like Ryden being around in general just creates drama, and I feel that all of our mutual friends have completely untrue ideas of me now.
I'm feeling sick about tonight. If I talk to Kyle about it, he just thinks I'm not over Ryden. I just don't want him in my life. I don't know if I'm going to be able to grin and bear it tonight, or if I'm going to say something to him, or what. I want to be the bigger person and just let it go. Kyle can't stand his new girlfriend or the new group of friends they hang out with so luckily we probably won't have to sit with them.

[Lindsey]

Ugh I just reread that and it seems kinda whiny and childish sorry guys.
I guess, I just really can't stand him and I don't want to see him and I don't know how I should deal with it. Any suggestions? Should I just ignore and pretend he's not there? Should I be super friendly and say hi to them? I don't know what to do!

[Tink]

Lindsey, you don't sound childish at all.

If he was such a rat, the best revenge is to live well without him. Let people make their own decision on who to believe... I dare bet his friends know him for the lout he is. I doubt ANY would want him to date their little sister! And that speaks volumes.

I don't know why you should be obligated to even say hello to him. I think knowing what you know about him, if you think about it, you might even end up feeling a bit sorry for his new girl. He's most likely not any better to her than he was to you.

If you really want to get him sweating, be nice to her and ignore him completely. I'm sure he's just hoping you're still crying in your pillow over him. Thank God you got out when you did! He's not worth worrying over.

HUGS

[Lindsey]

Well, for starters his new girlfriend HATES me. She always did, even when we were dating. We would all hang out together and she wouldn't even say hello to me. In fact, Kyle said she hasn't ever said a word to him either. She will only talk to HER friends. I really don't feel like being nice to her at all, and I'm happy for them being together, I think they probably deserve each other.
My older brother actually loved that I was dating him. He was the only boyfriend my brother got along with and liked hanging out with. He still tries to be friends with him, talks to him when he sees him out, etc. I HATE it. But I can't control it. And his new girlfriend... when I first met her I thought her brother was her boyfriend. They're very very close, do everything together, basically hold hands through life. Ryden and her brother are really really good friends and I guess everyone is happy. Maybe he was just like that to ME. Maybe he really didn't like me that much and just wanted to use me for awhile.

[Mandy]

Lindsey, you dont sound weird or childish at all!! The best meds for that guy would be silent treatment, and for you to ignore him completly! If he comes to you for a chat, or whatever, give him the "do i know u?" look.
Good luck, you CAN do it!!

[Lindsey]

Thanks for the support! We have to be there an hour early because Kyle has to help set up... maybe I can get a drink or two in me before he shows up and it might be a little easier! My roommate is coming along for support, so I can always just talk to her, even if Kyle is talking to Ryden. Hopefully it won't be as bad as I've been anticipating!

[Mandy]

Originally Posted by Lindsey

Thanks for the support! We have to be there an hour early because Kyle has to help set up... maybe I can get a drink or two in me before he shows up and it might be a little easier! My roommate is coming along for support, so I can always just talk to her, even if Kyle is talking to Ryden. Hopefully it won't be as bad as I've been anticipating!

*Friendly warning* Try not to drink too much, you could end up saying things you might regret later.
Glad your roommate is going with you, when he walks in, or walks up to you, turn your back, and walk away. If he says, he wants to talk to you, tell him straight, you have nothing in commen with him, and you dont feel the need to discuss anything with him.

[judy]

Good luck, be strong, have courage and you're so right - it won't be as bad as you're
anticipating.

[AngieDoogles]

Hope everything went well last night Lindsey!

[Lindsey]

Ugh, I don't know what to say about last night.
He was there with his girlfriend before we even showed up. I ignored them. I was sitting down with my roommate while Kyle went over to talk to Ryden's group. Ryden came down later to talk to some people I was talking to, so I put an invisible wall there, and just talked to my roommate. Ryden kept trying to get my attention, and he even lightly kicked my leg so he could say hi. I didn't even look at him and he finally just went away. I went outside to find Kyle at one point and Ryden was out there with his girlfriend. The guys Kyle was talking to were like "Oh this is Ryden's ex, right? So you're just the rebound!" and by this time I had quite a bit to drink and I got a little angry, and as soon as that talk started, Ryden and his girlfriend got up and left.
Kyle got mad about something, I don't remember, but I was pretty upset and I started talking to his friend who I'd never met before, but he was just trying to console me and whatever. We were inside sitting at a booth and all of a sudden Ryden and his girlfriend come and sit with us. We were talking about Kyle so I felt uncomfortable and Ryden kept trying to cut in and talk to me and I was still trying to ignore him and I kind of just lost it, ran to the bathroom to cry a little. I came back with red eyes and told the guy let's find another booth to talk. After awhile, Kyle came and talked to me and everything was good.
Ryden was just around me constantly and finally I was like "Okay, let's just try to be friends then." So I asked Kyle if he would mind if I just asked Ryden about how to change oil in my bike. So I did ask. His girlfriend stood beside him shooting me nasty looks. He said something like "I don't know why you're ignoring me so much, what's going on" and I shouldn't have said anything but I said "Okay there's a lot of things on my mind that I just really want to get out if we had a minute alone" And his girlfriend STOMPED off.
So I told him I don't appreciate everything he's said about me. He apologized. He said he treated me like a princess, never cheated never lied. I said "You did too lie, you swore to me you weren't saying anything to anyone" and he was like "Okay one little lie, I'm sorry I hurt you" and I don't know he kept just pleading for me to be his friend and I basically said I can't really do that. Kyle eventually came over to say that his girlfriend was fuming so he should go talk to her. And then Kyle was mad again, saying he told me I could go talk about my bike, not start talking about anything else. I don't know, Kyle went outside without me and his other friend who I'm pretty close with was talking to me about it, saying he KNEW this was going to happen. I was crying, his friend was hugging me... Just really not a good night all around.

[Lindsey]

.... and last night Kyle broke up with me over Ryden.
Great weekend.

[judy]

Give him a few days. You know he's a big baby and is so insecure.

I think your telling Ryden what you had to see and him being sorry was a very good thing for you. He sounds like he cares for you as a person, and that's important.

Chocolate will make you feel better.

Kisses,

Judy

[Lindsey]

Thanks Judy.
We did talk yesterday, and smoothed things over somewhat. I think basically we just avoid talking about the big subjects. It's not working out, and I know it, and I've known it for a long time. I was talking (okay, crying) to a girlfriend yesterday morning before I saw him, and she was like "He might be a nice guy, but not the guy for you. You don't deserve this stress and you are too young to feel like you have to settle down." And I completely agree, but when I'm with him, I can't end it. I'll miss him too much, and I'll miss his family too much. I'm not ready to let go.
What I think bothers me the most about the Ryden thing is, yeah, maybe he does care about me as a person, but he doesn't make an effort to try to be my friend. In fact, he never talks to ANY of his old friends anymore. He's just obsessed with his new girlfriend, and why does he deserve to be so happy after he made me feel so bad and even my new relationship isn't happy?

[AngieDoogles]

Lindsey, I'm so sorry!!! Breaking up is one of the hardest things to go through, but almost always, you're glad in the end. Over time you seem to realize more and more that it's actually a good thing. I know this doesn't help now, but I guess I just want you to remember that there IS a brighter future for you. You DON'T want to be in a relationship that makes you unhappy...

Like Judy said, eat some chocolate! Hope you feel better soon!

[Mandy]

Oh Lindsey, im sorry your going through another break up, that sux! Obviously he is very insecure. Every relationship is based on trust, if you dont have that, it's bound to be unstable. Give yourself time, and like Judy, and Angie said.... treat yourself to some nice chocolates, they work like magic