Family gathering didn't go well.

[Janet]

Tonight we went to my Mom's house for Christmas. My family was there and my two brothers and their families were there.

Everything was going pretty good, until the end. My younger brother is so moody and judemental. Anyway, he and I exchanged some words. I'm done. He only lives about 3 miles from me but only calls if he needs something like help getting a deer out of the woods (he's a deer hunter) and he only comes by to aim his rifle or shotgun whatever before hunting season.

Family or not, I'm done with toxic people in my life...don't need 'em, don't want 'em. He only seems to have time for her family so now he has even more time. He's welcome here anytime he doesn't need anything, when he does, he can go to his in-laws.

Sorry just had to vent. See Diana, your family just sounds so wonderful...mine never has been.

[Tink]

Janet, I'm sorry your evening was spoiled by conflict. HUGS

Our night went well thank goodness. I have made such a point of not associating with my sister though that her and I are never invited to the same gatherings anymore because of it. Some people you do simply have to disassociate yourself from. It's sad when they're family members, but it happens. You are NOT alone... so don't beat yourself up over it.

[AngieDoogles]

Aww, Janet, I'm so sorry! I wish I lived close to you so I could come over and give you a big hug! You don't deserve to be treated badly and like Tink said this stuff happens and you can't beat yourself up over it.

Feel better! *Hugs*

[Mandy]

Originally Posted by Tink

Janet, I'm sorry your evening was spoiled by conflict. HUGS

Our night went well thank goodness. I have made such a point of not associating with my sister though that her and I are never invited to the same gatherings anymore because of it. Some people you do simply have to disassociate yourself from. It's sad when they're family members, but it happens. You are NOT alone... so don't beat yourself up over it.

Janet i'm so sorry this happened to you, but i agree with Tink. Sometimes we have to make changes in our lives, and choices have to be made.
I know it hurts having to distance yourself from family, but it happens a LOT, and you are not alone girl.
Dont beat yourself up! Hugs

[Forgivenmom5]

I am so sorry things didn't go well Janet. I think you are right about not being around someone who makes you feel this way. We all love you here and know what a special person you are.

[Janet]

Thanks everyone for understanding. I won't beat myself up over it any longer. I must have during the night because I woke up with such a bad headache. It's gone now though.

I don't know why my younger brother is like that. Maybe it's because he is the baby, I don't know. Mom did dote on him alot when he was younger after my father passed away.

I like being happy and it's just way too hard when he's around. Everyone always has to watch what they say or do. He wants the attention on him and his kids 17 and 22 years old.

So it will be easier this way. We only see each other really at Christmas for any length of tme, so I'm just glad we got said what needed to be said and like I said, I'm done.

[DianaB]

I'm so sorry, Janet, that your evening didn't go smoothly. At least you don't have to see your brother very often. Maybe the two of you should have a talk when you're alone and try and straighten out the problems between you. You might point out to him that you don't appreciate him bringing things up in front of everyone that needs to be dealt with privately.

My kids and grandkids are wonderful and we all get along really well but I'm not going to say that we don't have any problems. I've mentioned my brother but haven't said much about his family!!! My family hates to have them over but since he's my only sibling I'm stuck with being a good sister. We don't have trouble with arguing but with attitudes. I think that he's doing much better with his drug addiction but it was hard when he thought that we didn't know about it. He's got a daughter that is into drugs, a step-daughter (14) who acts very improper around guys, a step-son who is ADHD, and a spoiled little daugher who demands to have her way! Oh, he does have a couple of kids from another marriage that are wonderful and we love to have them over.

The good news is that they aren't up here very often so I don't have to deal with their problems. I've found that keeping my distance from those who cause me trouble helps me to like them more!!!!

That's over and done with, now enjoy the rest of your Christmas!!!

[judy]

I'm sorry your brother ruined your evening Janet, and that your brother and his family have such problems, Diana. I think every family has huge issues. You're all
on the same page as I am - don't see people who make you miserable.

Like Dr. Phil says, "Life's too short!"

[Marilyn]

Janet, so sad that your evening was spoiled like this. We have awesome children and just make our own family with them and their friends, and our church family, of course. Both of us have issues with our siblings so we just don't associate with them any more. It's sad, but sometimes you just have to cut the ties and restart the family. We are much happier this way, believe me. It's not like we haven't tried to get along, but on hubby's side they have issues like Diana has described with her brother and we just don't need to be around them.

Life is too short!! and too important.

[Janet]

Thanks all, I appreciate the support. I was feeling a little guilty, because after all he is my brother, but I just hate feeling like I'm walking on egg shells everytime I'm around him. One minute he can be so sweet and funny and then the next he is absolutley horrible and mean. I will no longer feel guilty. I need to protect the happiness and well being of my family and I just won't subject myself to that kind of emotional rollercoaster. I'm done.

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by Janet

Thanks all, I appreciate the support. I was feeling a little guilty, because after all he is my brother, but I just hate feeling like I'm walking on egg shells everytime I'm around him. One minute he can be so sweet and funny and then the next he is absolutley horrible and mean. I will no longer feel guilty. I need to protect the happiness and well being of my family and I just won't subject myself to that kind of emotional rollercoaster. I'm done.

Hugs Janet! These decisions are hard, but sometimes we have to do the right thing by distancing ourselves from those who cause us pain. I've never had to do this with family, but I have with friends and it's one of the most difficult things I've had to do.

Just remember, it will help you to feel better, which will in turn make your whole family happier and less stressed.

[Janet]

You're right Angie and I need less stress. It is very hard distancing one's self from family or friends. Part of the reason I would get so anxious about the holidays and my side of the family getting together is because of him. So, I will celebrate holidays with those I want to be around that way not only I, but my husband and son can enjoy them more too.

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by Janet

You're right Angie and I need less stress. It is very hard distancing one's self from family or friends. Part of the reason I would get so anxious about the holidays and my side of the family getting together is because of him. So, I will celebrate holidays with those I want to be around that way not only I, but my husband and son can enjoy them more too.

Good for you! I hope you enjoy your new stress-free holidays!

[Tink]

Janet, I think sometimes we need to pick out battles.
If we've had the same one repeatedly and nothing changes by it, there's a point where we need to just say "enough" and be done with it.

Stress isn't healthy... and it's sure no fun!

[Janet]

You are so right Tink!!!