What a jerk!!!!!!!

[Cribal]

Please tell me if I'm over-reacting but I think my husband is being a complete a-hole (excuse my french but I'm really pissed off right now).

Last winter hubby was gone every Wed. and Thurs. to bowl on his thursday night league and he substituted on Weednesdays. Well he would be gone until midnight and then on fidays and sat.s he would be gone all day hunting so I felt like I would never see him and it put a real strain on the first few months of our marriage.

Well winter league bowling is starting up and we made an agreement that we would only substitute for a team ONCE a month. I didn't want to make the agreement b/c I knew he wouldn't keep his word but he said he PROMISED he would only bowl once a month and he wouldn't ask or beg to bowl any more than that.

Well, he bowled the first Wed. of this month(6th.) and he just came in from work and asked if I wanted to come and watch him bowl tonight. I said no b/c you have already subbed for someone this month. And he was like well he begged me so I couldn't say no.... Why can he not hurt his friends feeling but he can hurt mine by breaking a promise he made me. We even talked and I said do you remember promising me that and he said yes but he doesn't understand why I'm so mad about it. WTF... Sorry I just had to vent and I'm soooo freaking pissed right now.

[rivermom]

I understand and can appreciate your feelings towards this. It's not an easy situation.

Hopefully he will realize himself that being away so much is putting a strain on your relationship and he'll want to be home more. I think that if he doesn't come to terms with this on his own, he will only resent being home anyway just cuz you wanted him to. This can be a no win situation.

So...as I said, hopefully he will WANT to be home to WANT to please you. Then you BOTH win.

Good luck.

[Cribal]

Yea, I'm not a person to demand him to not go. I really wish he would want to spend more time at home but I'm not gonna make him be there if he doesn't want to.

Example: Our anniversary was two Sunday's ago. We had plans to spend the day together and go out on the boat just the two of us and then Sat. night he remember's that football was starting up and it comes on, on Sunday so he asked if I would invite my best friend out to go with me instead..... So, I had a fun 1 year anniversary with my best friend out on the boat getting drunk b/c I was so depressed that he wanted to watch football instead of spending our anniversary with me. Damn, what did I ever see in him..

[RLC12345678]

Don't bitch about it....just teach him a lesson. I think on the nights that he isn't busy, you should spend those doing something you enjoy so he has to sit at home alone. See how he likes it.

[rivermom]

Originally Posted by Cribal

Yea, I'm not a person to demand him to not go. I really wish he would want to spend more time at home but I'm not gonna make him be there if he doesn't want to.

Example: Our anniversary was two Sunday's ago. We had plans to spend the day together and go out on the boat just the two of us and then Sat. night he remember's that football was starting up and it comes on, on Sunday so he asked if I would invite my best friend out to go with me instead..... So, I had a fun 1 year anniversary with my best friend out on the boat getting drunk b/c I was so depressed that he wanted to watch football instead of spending our anniversary with me. Damn, what did I ever see in him..

That is sooooo sad. Oh my goodness I bet you were so heartbroken.

[RLC12345678]

This is my philosophy, and my husband thinks I'm so evil to have this as my philosophy, but it works EVERY SINGLE TIME:

"Don't get mad....get even."

[Cribal]

Originally Posted by RLC12345678

Don't bitch about it....just teach him a lesson. I think on the nights that he isn't busy, you should spend those doing something you enjoy so he has to sit at home alone. See how he likes it.

That's what I normally do but we're on such a tight budget that I really can't right now if I wanna be able to pay my bills. Like that's why I just called up my friend adn we went out on the boat drinking. I'm all about getting payback and showing him what it feels like but I'm really getting tired of doindg the whole spiteful thing. (I admit I am VERY spiteful)

[Cribal]

Originally Posted by RLC12345678

This is my philosophy, and my husband thinks I'm so evil to have this as my philosophy, but it works EVERY SINGLE TIME:

"Don't get mad....get even."

Yes, I live by this also. I sometimes tend to take it overboard even...

[RLC12345678]

Originally Posted by Cribal

That's what I normally do but we're on such a tight budget that I really can't right now if I wanna be able to pay my bills. Like that's why I just called up my friend adn we went out on the boat drinking. I'm all about getting payback and showing him what it feels like but I'm really getting tired of doindg the whole spiteful thing. (I admit I am VERY spiteful)

You don't have to spend any money. Just go to a friend's house or something. But don't tell hubby where you're going. Tell him you're going "out."

[Cribal]

Originally Posted by RLC12345678

You don't have to spend any money. Just go to a friend's house or something. But don't tell hubby where you're going. Tell him you're going "out."

Yea, maybe that's what I need to do tomorrow night. I don't want to do it tonight b/c the pups would be left alone for too long. I'll do it tomorrow when he's going to be at home and he can stay with the dogs.

Well, it's almost 5:00 and I'm gonna start locking the office to go home. I don't even want to go home and see him. I guess I'll just go in a get a beer and sit at the computer and come back to here and bitch some more....LOL

[rivermom]

Originally Posted by Cribal

Yea, maybe that's what I need to do tomorrow night. I don't want to do it tonight b/c the pups would be left alone for too long. I'll do it tomorrow when he's going to be at home and he can stay with the dogs.

Well, it's almost 5:00 and I'm gonna start locking the office to go home. I don't even want to go home and see him. I guess I'll just go in a get a beer and sit at the computer and come back to here and bitch some more....LOL

We'll be here. I don't think any of us have bowling or football tonight.

[Ponyup]

I'd give it time. The one year anniversary thing would of really pissed me off because it was a broken promise he made plans & then cancelled, bad move. However, his bowling & hunting are probably habits he's had forever & are hard to change. The first year of marriage is really tough & the 2nd isn't a whole lot better. I would just continue to be honest with him about how you feel. Make sure you don't place blame. It will take him a while to learn to take your feeling into account when he makes plans. There is an adjustment period. It's not that he doesn't love you or what to spend time with you it's just that he's used to a certain routine & things like that take time to change.

[rivermom]

Originally Posted by Ponyup

I'd give it time. The one year anniversary thing would of really pissed me off because it was a broken promise he made plans & then cancelled, bad move. However, his bowling & hunting are probably habits he's had forever & are hard to change. The first year of marriage is really tough & the 2nd isn't a whole lot better. I would just continue to be honest with him about how you feel. Make sure you don't place blame. It will take him a while to learn to take your feeling into account when he makes plans. There is an adjustment period. It's not that he doesn't love you or what to spend time with you it's just that he's used to a certain routine & things like that take time to change.

Great advise Ponyup !!!

[Cribal]

Originally Posted by rivermom

We'll be here. I don't think any of us have bowling or football tonight.

So now here I am sitting here waiting for his ass to leave. I stopped and rented me a movie to watch. I guess it's me, a movie and some beer tonight.

[rivermom]

Originally Posted by Cribal

So now here I am sitting here waiting for his ass to leave. I stopped and rented me a movie to watch. I guess it's me, a movie and some beer tonight.

Boye! You got home quick.