I am single

[Lindsey]

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. I have known for quite a while it had to end. I have such a great time with Kyle, and that's what made it so hard. He has tried so hard lately to be everything I want. But it was too little too late. We've drifted apart, I don't have any romantic feelings for him anymore. I love his friends, I love his family, and he's one of my best friends, but I don't love him as a boyfriend. Even kissing him felt awkward.
We hadn't spoken much since getting back from Winnipeg. I had lunch with him last Thursday, and we didn't talk until this morning when he emailed me. He asked what's going on, if I'm mad at him. I said no. Finally I said we need to talk, and he said "I figured you might say that" And then he was angry - which I expected. He said he did everything for me and I didn't appreciate it, why would I waste his time, why did I go to winnipeg with him, on and on... I actually had to go to the bathroom and cry for a little while.
I went home for lunch and there he was on facebook, saying he doesn't want this to happen, everything in his house reminds him of me and he cried today for the first time in a long time... but he eventually accepted that it is what it is. He's going to miss me, and I'm going to miss him, but it's not working.
For him, I feel badly. I don't want to hurt anyone. For me, it's just relief. I think I've been "over" him for awhile, and okay with being by myself.

[celstu1]

I don't know if this appropriate but Congrads I guess. I know its hard and it will probably hit you a little different as the days go on, but I am happy that you have taken control of that relationship and did what was best for you. I am also glad that it sounds like you parted from him on good terms.

[Lindsey]

Thanks. It has taken me ages to get the courage to do it. And I feel terrible for him because I've been in the same situation before, where someone else just stops feeling. But everyone has told me they understand, it has been iminent for a while. I'm so drained, my eyes are all puffy, but I'm trying to get through my afternoon at work.
My roommate just gave a letter of resignation to her boss today, and she got hit on her way to work this morning. Good ol' Mondays! We are going to meet at a gym after work to get memberships, and then we're going home to have a drink and think happy thoughts. I think we both deserve it!

[Mandy]

Lindsey, i think this was to happen. For a long time, you werent really happy in the relationship, i am happy to read that you are looking after yourself!!!! Glad you are feeling fine with it all.

[Lindsey]

Thanks Mandy. I just all of a sudden feel FREE. I really do like Kyle and I hope someday we can be friends, and with all my heart I hope he finds someone better for him than I am. I want him to be happy more than anything. That's my one comfort in seeing how badly he's hurt now... I was hurting him anyway by not giving him what he wanted and needed because I COULDN'T, my heart just wasn't in it. He is a good guy. He had problems with anger and jealousy, but he can change and he DID change. He just changed at the wrong time. I hope it won't be too long until he's happy again.

[Janet]

Lindsey this has really been in the workings for quite some time. We all knew you were not very content in the relationship anymore. It's best to move on and let him move on as well. Might be kind of rough going, but it will get better.

[2tiredmom]

Lindsay,

Sometimes we have to hurt people in order for us to feel better about ourselves.
I know it's rough but he will survive and so will you. I wish you the best.

[Lindsey]

At lunch he decided he didn't want to see me to talk things over, because if he saw me he'd be a mess. That was fine with me, because I didn't want to deal with telling him in person again, and seeing how upset he is. But he just emailed me again and asked me if I could come over after work so we could talk about it. I know he will probably try to talk me out of it, but I think after dating almost a year and a half I owe it to him to meet face to face I hope I stay strong.

[gja1000]

It's the right thing - I've known for quite a while now - just by the way you write about Kyle and your relationship. It's time, even if you cave tonight, it's time........

[Lindsey]

I got through it, it's done

[gja1000]

It's hard, take care.

[judy]

Feeling free is a wonderful thing. Congratulations Lindsey! I know it's hard, but you did it!

[Dobie]

I'm happy to see that you are taking care of yourself and trying to move on from a relationship that wasn't working for you - I wish you the best of luck as you move forward!!

[Lindsey]

So yesterday when we had our talk he was like "I'm going to be so lonely at lunch. Seeing you for every lunch was like the only thing that could get me through the day" and he started crying. Later, after everything was said and done, I got home and he texted me saying "I would still really like it if you would come over for lunch" and I said "I can't right away. We need a break for awhile" and he said "Oh."
This morning I got to work and he had already emailed me asking how I'm doing and how my night was, and that everything sucks for him and he doesn't know how to deal with it. I replied, but kind of just answered his questions, and then he asked if he should just leave me alone because it seems like I don't want to hear from him anymore. I told him I'd love to be his friend, I meant what I said, but that the transition from dating to friends is going to be a lot harder on him if we don't take a break at all.
His sadness is just breaking my heart. I know my feelings are more important, and I feel like my life has moved on and I was over him before the relationship was done, so there is no getting back together, but I just wish he could get over me faster I've been in his shoes and I know it sucks and I know it hurts and I hate that I made someone feel that terrible.

[gja1000]

Yes, of course you hate it that you have hurt him - but it is the way it has to be and they are HIS feelings to deal with. You are not responsible for him working through his feelings. I know you hate it that you had to hurt him, but you had to do it, there was no other way.