what would you do ladies?

My husband and I have been married for 3 years. We have always had a great relationship, we have great communication and trust.

I'm not working right at this momment, but I start a new job next week. So my husband has been working 6-7 days a week and 3-4 12 hour shifts. He works 3rd shift, so I feel I dont get to spend much time with him.

He had Sunday night off this week, due to the holiday, he comes home Sunday morning and took a nap, I arranged for the kids to be with my mom so we could share the evening together alone. We had plans for Sunday afternoon to go to a cookout at my parents house, right before we were leaving, his mom calls and says she needs his help, there garage door is stuck and they cant get it up (mind yourself that she only calls him when she wants something) so I tell him were eating at 1, so go ahead and go and I will just meet you over there. He dosent show up till after 4pm and I'm a little pee'd off. All the food was put away and my dad told him to get him something in the fridge. So he eats and we leave around 5:30p, we get home and he is feeling very tired cause he only took a nap that morning after working all night. So he goes to bed and stays there pretty much the rest of the night. So I was forced to spend my evening on YT LOL
So Monday comes, and he wakes me up at 10 and tells me he is going back out to his parents to mow there lawn! I was like, you have got to be kidding me! I was ticked and I told him if he wasent back in 2 hours, the sh$* was going to hit the fan, we had a few words back and forth and needless to say, he was back in 2 hours.
But the point is, you would have thought he would have wanted to spend his time off with his wife, specially since I arranged for no kids to be home.

[hle_625]

I know how you feel to a certain extent. Me and Adam work the same hours and have off the same days so we see each other alot but, his mom just moved down the road from us and we are at her house more then we are at our house. Its so frustrating to me bc I want to spend some time with him and do things. We dont have kids yet so that isnt a problem, but everytime I turn around hes wanting to go to his moms to visit! Drives me insane!

[magnolia]

I'm sorry your wonderfully made plans didn't work out All I have to say is I'm glad my MIL lives over 3 hours away! She is exactly like your MIL - if we lived closer, I have no doubt in my mind that she would be calling on a regular basis needing hubby to go do something for her irregardless of whatever plans he may have otherwise!

[Janet]

Wait until you're married longer and you'll enjoy the time alone more. Seriously, my son and husband belong to Boy Scouts and I really look forward to the weekends they are camping. Just me and the dogs. I can work like the dickens around the house or lie on my you know what and not feel guilty. Gives me time to read, sew, play with my babies. I felt the same way when we first married almost 33 years ago, but sometimes the time apart is just what you need. Take advantage of it.

[Marilyn]

Janet is giving you some very good advice. Right now, it seems that his mom is demanding a lot, but if you're in this for the long haul, which I sincerely trust you are, just love and support him and try to understand. He probably wants to be with you, but he still feels the tug of his parents, and guilt if he does not help. He will love you even more if you have a trusting understanding attitude. At least he wasn't at the pool hall or someplace worse.

BTW, i'm speaking from 32 years of experience. Don't pretend to know it all, but have learned a lot & have a wonderful, awesome relationship that has grown over the years.

I agree with Janet and Marilyn, when you have been married longer you will like those kinda days by yourself lol hang in there, bite your tongue ( as long as it doesnt happen every day) We have made plans already and something came up that squashed the plans...there's always next weekend

[Janet]

Another way to look at it, is: How many men actually want to help their parents do yard work? I'd say a lot are too lazy or too selfish. He must feel secure in your relationship to hope you understand that after all....it's his parents. Sounds like a keeper to me!!!

[Jlynn]

Grr...can relate to the demanding, incapable mil thing, but somethings are better left unwritten (to be used against me at some unknown time in the future ) I'll just say, I wish mine were more than 15 minutes down the road!
Sometimes, you just gotta grin and bear it. Accept the relationship that was established years before you entered the pic.

My husband of 22 years has to help his mom ALOT, Cause his father pass away this pass Nov so when something comes up he's right there to help her, At first I felt a little left out but then I have to remind myself she has no one else. He has 2 older sister they do what they can and the other is left to him. So I try HARD not to let it bug me. Plus somethings I just want to be alone.

[Sherry Lynn]

Originally Posted by Janet

Another way to look at it, is: How many men actually want to help their parents do yard work? I'd say a lot are too lazy or too selfish. He must feel secure in your relationship to hope you understand that after all....it's his parents. Sounds like a keeper to me!!!

My Mother used to always tell me to watch how a man treats his mother to see how he's going to treat you... I'm glad to say that my hubby is good to both of us.

My FIL was diagnosed with lung cancer last year so we've been trying to spend as much time with them as possible. God forbid there comes a time when he is no longer with us and MIL would come live with us. An hour away is good... down the hall... not so good!

That's when I'll be on here burnin' up the Vent Forum!

[Kimberley]

Our biggest mistake was moving down here to be close to my in-laws. They are a royal pain in the arse! If pops is out of town (always doing whatever he wants), it's my husband's "job" to go over there to take care of their animals and whatever else my MIL needs. Makes me so mad. It's not like their disabled...they're RETIRED!!!! I really want to move from here in a couple of years. My husband completely understands. I feel for ya!

I guess it is a good practice is to expect little give alot ...and always be willing to recieve .

Best made plans often fail .letting oneself have every moment of joy we can is an art ...be artful .live your love ~

[Gina]

I agree with some of the girls above enjoy the time you have alone for there are few and far in between. When you are married many years you want them to go get lost for awhile.. lol I had a wonderful MIL who passed away over a year ago, now my FIL was a different story very demanding and critical. I learned to ignore him over the years and did what I wanted to do anyway. My FIL mellowed after my MIL passing. I lost both my parents and I do miss the times with them, as I think back, as you get older you realize that your spouse left his parents to marry, and now I have a son and someday I will be a MIL and I hope to be a nice one, providing that his wife respects me. It is a give and take, remember he loves his mom just as much as we women love ours. I have a daughter to, so that rule will apply to her future MIL...lol