Rant!

[gja1000]

There was a post over on YT about a dog that stays out all the time, is never cared for and yet lives on and on. The poster had lost her Yorkie whom she had pampered and taken excellent care of, yet when he got sick, he died.

I have the same feelings about my husband's multiple illnesses. I try not to think about it, but every so often it pops up.

Everyday, sometimes for years, I see the same homeless people on the street, and often if they get any money, they buy cigarettes and beer.

My husband didn't smoke, drink or do drugs. He was never overweight. He worked as a carpenter, building houses, so he got plenty of exercise. Yet, he has heart failure, has had a heart attack, open heart surgery, kidney failure, diabetes (he has to take insulin), asthma - his lung function is 33% of normal. He wouldn't last two days on the street, yet there are those who abuse their body and soul in so many ways, and they continue to live on and on. My sweet hubby just has bad genes, I know that, but it sucks!

I'm not bitter - but it isn't fair. I know, I know, life isn't fair - I understand that. But dammit! It should be (j/k). It just makes me take a heavy sigh from time to time and tonight is one of those times.

[Blueyes]

When I say that I know how you feel...I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL! I really think it's fine to have these thoughts and feelings from time to time. The truth is..it just stinks.

Is Gary having an extra hard time?

[gja1000]

Yes, he's not doing well at all right now and no one seems to know why. It seems to be his lungs that are causing him to be so short of breath and unable to do much of anything. He has the best pulmonary doc in Austin caring for him and he doesn't know why Gary's lungs continue to deteriorate. It's very puzzling. Anyway, it's a fine night for a pity party!

And yes Betsi! I KNOW you understand completely!!! Thanks for being here.

[Blueyes]

Yep..it's a FINE night for a pity party! It's just so maddening when even the best docs don't have a clue. It's so hard to watch the people we love suffer and be afraid. Then when my mind starts on the "what ifs".... it's hard to know what to do with all of that anger and fear... and you can't really share that with the person that's sick because he's got enough to worry about.

I'm so sorry you and Gary are having such a bad time right now. I always say to myself "this too shall pass", but my heart really screams...WHAT IF IT DOESN'T????? I know how your gut feels right now Gayle, and all I can say is that I love you.

[Marilyn]

Oh, Gayle, it's so truly sad that you both are going through this. We've had difficult times health wise, but not anywhere to the extent of what you are dealing with. It must be horribly frustrating. We are here any time you want to rant. Rant on and on if you need to.

It's wonderful that you had such a nice vacation together, and pray that the doctor will find something that with bring on some improvement very soon.

Love you!!!!

[DianaB]

Gayle, there are so many things in life that aren't fair. You go ahead and rant away. You certainly have a right to question the fairness in Gary's illness. I'm here for you any time you need a friend. Gary and you are in my prayers. Hugs to you both.

[gja1000]

Thanks so much to everyone! We saw his "other" heart doc this morning and he stopped one med he thought that might be affecting his lungs. Hopefully, his lungs will improve some off this med. YAY!!!

[DianaB]

That sounds like good news!!! I hope that he starts feeling better!!!!

[gja1000]

Originally Posted by DianaB

That sounds like good news!!! I hope that he starts feeling better!!!!

ME TOOOOO!!!!

[lynne b]

I am sorry you & hubby are going through this, it is not fair at all. I hope the med change does the trick and he gets to feeling better.
You have done so much for me and everyone else here, i wish there was more i could do to help you out. I am always here to lend an ear if you need one though....Love ya Lynne

[Janet]

Gayle...I am starting to understand about it "not being fair." I hope by taking away the one med that Gary starts feeling better right away. You both are in my prayers.....you are so loved here Gayle so you rant any time you want.

[gja1000]

Thank you so much everyone!!! We went over to my daughter's for dinner. Gary did fine, but he is just not himself. He keeps saying everything is OK, but I know it is not!

Anyway, I am feeling better, not so grumpy this evening! I sure appreciate all your support!

[judy]

I am so sorry that Gary is not doing well. Hopefully taking away that medicine will help improve his lung function.

Both of you, Gayle and Betsi, have every right to be angry and frustrated. It really isn't fair. My daughter has MS, and I also don't think it's fair. She doesn't deserve that! Neither do the children, or Steve, or me, for that matter. She isn't feeling well right now - not a bad exacerbation, but she has to just wait until it passes. She has finally found a neurologist locally who takes her insurance, and who she really likes! She's back on one medication, and has to go to physical therapy.

I have learned to just take one day at a time, and to just take it as it is. There is no other way for me to do it.

[gja1000]

Thanks Judy, for the perspective. I'm a one day at a timer too - it's just that some days get me down more than others. Gary and I spent the day at a big sporting good store (Cabelas). He loves to go there and look around. He has to ride in a motor cart now, as he just can't walk around in a store that big anymore. He used to be embarrassed about having to ride in a cart - but he's getting better about not caring what people think.

We had a good time together and he found a few things that he needed!

[Marilyn]

Gayle, so glad that you've had a good day at Cabelas!!! Our SIL grew up across the highway from there, on Old Goforth Rd. Hope the med change will make a big difference.