How much else can go wrong?

[Lindsey]

Life is tough for me right now. We had this Layla issue. And now Scott and I keep having money issues... not that we don't HAVE money but he's worried we spend too much. All we're spending money on though is the house... yard tools, flowers, garden stuff. We bought a bedroom set that we had ordered before Layla went down. We also bought a tv, which we had planned to buy for months. This is coming out of the condo profit money, which we still have a lot of.

Now we have decided we need time to get away and are taking a 6-day trip out to BC. My parents are learning how to express Layla this weekend so they can watch her when we go in a few weeks. I thought Scott and I would have a great trip together and work on our relationship and get stronger, because we need to be strong together for Layla. To save on money, we can camp for two nights, and the rest of the time spend with his family in BC. Well now he wants to cut out the camping and just drive 15+ hours in one day to stay with his family so we don't have to pay for a camp site! He is SO stingy on money and I told him if that's how our trip is going to be, I'm not going. I wanted US to go on a vacation adventure together, driving through the mountains, stopping to see things and take pictures, but he wants to drive straight through to save money. I don't want a vacation to visit his family. I want a vacation for the two of us, and visiting family was just a side bonus for a few days. UGH!

And then from this argument, I went online to look at my bank account for the first time since Layla went down, to figure out exactly how much I have spent vs. how much I have made (he's worried we're just depleting our funds already). And then I see these charges coming up from my condo... I sold it on April 10, and condo fees came out of my account on May 1, and June 1! That's $500 down the drain and I don't even live there! I called the building maintenance people and they said to call the downtown office for the manager today. I called, he didn't answer, so I left a message. He had better call me back today!

I just feel like my life is crumbling around me, and I don't know what to do, and I just want to sit down and cry. I have been working day and night, at both work and at home on the nights I'm not at work late. I have no time to even think, and I'm definitely not functioning at 100%, and that's hard for Scott and Layla. I just don't know how to get back up. I feel like I'm scraping by and barely staying sane.

[judy]

I'm sure you will win this argument, especially since you told him that you are not going if you don't stop and enjoy each other.

I'm sure you don't need the stress of an argument though. He's not perfect, but nobody is. I do not get the sense that you are settling for him in any way. It sounds like he is a really good guy, with some faults, like all of us. My daughter and her family have gone on about five vacations total in the past 14 years! He won't fly; she won't drive with 3 kids, etc., etc. Just make sure that this is the guy who deserves you, and smack him on the back of his head.

Good luck! It is great that your parents will watch Layla. They love her, and a break will do you wonders!

[Lindsey]

Thank you Judy. We are perfect for each other in so many ways. I was so happy to find a guy who loves to travel, but now I'm seeing our differences because I like every moment of the journey and he is focused just on the destination. We'll see how well that works when we backpack in Europe next year!

I am not worried that Scott and I won't make it through this, because I know we will. I just hate how concerned he is with money all the time, and it's something we'll need to work on. I tell him "You can stress about money every day of your life and you could die tomorrow and that stack of money will do you no good. Might as well live while you can!" He doesn't see my way of thinking and I don't see his.

Another thing that's stressing me out is that I haven't gotten my test results back for the spots they removed. I'm sure it's probably nothing, but I won't stop thinking about it until I know for sure. They were supposed to call me with results when they know, so I'm still just waiting.

I still haven't heard back from the condo manager either.

[Lindsey]

Well, one problem solved.... the condo manager will talk to accounting and reimburse me the condo fees for two months!

[judy]

One down, two to go!

[Janet]

Sorry to read of your problems Lindsey. Money problems can really cause a rift if you let it, so you both will need to keep open communication about that.

I would like to travel too. I'm thinking I would probably be a little more like Scott at times. If I only had so much time off...I would want to get to my destination quickly so I would have more time to do things there. That's just me though....I could be talked into taking my time to get there if there was something to do.

Just always remember what the priorities are and you and Scott will do great.

[DianaB]

Linds, I'm sure that everything will work out and be fine. You're both under a lot of stress. A trip away from everything sounds like just what you need. Explain to Scott that you really need the time camping to unwind and that it would be nice to just spend time alone with him. Being with his family will be nice but in some ways it can be stressful too. You really have to let guys know what you want because they really can't guess what you're wanting. Straight forward communication is what you need with men......that's what I've learned in my 36 years!!! Hugs!!

[judy]

Very good advice Diana!

[Lindsey]

Thanks for all the words of wisdom Scott has decided we should spend our two nights camping for our trip. My parents lent us an inflatable mattress and electric pump, and I have my own tent. I am a little nervous about meeting all of his family and feeling out of place, so I do want some time for just us so I can actually relax. The family parts might be a little stressful!

I haven't heard anything from my doctor yet, but I did get my stitches taken out today. The ones in my hand should have been out a couple of days ago, and the ones in my foot were supposed to wait until the end of this week. I decided to get them both out because I don't want to take more time off work than I have to! And it's a good thing... the stitches were so far in, they had to snip through some of the skin to get the stitch cut Hopefully that's the last time I'll be getting cuts on the bottom of that foot! Too much pain for this girl.

Hopefully it's healed well in 2.5 weeks for our vacation! I want to do some hiking!