I'm In The Doghouse..or Worse

[Janet]

Yesterday was my 37th anniversary and I didn't remember. First thing in the morning Rick gave me a card, it was nice. He went to work and my day started. Ran into Mom's house did a few odds and ends and then came home. Didn't give it another thought....just another day.

While Rick was gone, I matched up the receipts from where he charged his gas and food while he went to Florida to get Mom's things. I told him I didn't know if his $140 truck repair was a legit expense, but I would have to ask. He got a little angry and said they would have had to pay if it was a rental truck. I told him that if he had been pulling the scout trailer he wouldn't have expected the scouts to pay for the repair...why would he expect the estate to pay for it. Anyway...that started it.

Then....after I went to my room, he came in and wanted to know what was wrong. I said nothing....that he was the one in a bad mood. He asked if I even looked at the card. Told him I had and had told him thank you. Then I felt really bad because he asked why I didn't love him anymore. I care about him, but 'in love' just isn't there. He told me to figure out what I want to do and then just do it.

He came back in the room and apologized and we talked a bit more. I told him I was tired of his selfish attitude, his lies, his drinking and not trying harder to support his family. That this just wasn't where I thought I'd be at this age...still struggling financially. He left it that we will talk about it some more this weekend. Great!! (sarcastically).

I guess I could find another job, but I worry about it because my health insurance is so great. I would really like to find another job or at least something clerical in-between routes, but that's going to be hard. If I do go somewhere else....I'll be on the bottom and in this economy, would be one of the first to go if things got bad. Then we wouldn't have or be able to afford private insurance.

I really didn't need this extra crap right now, but as usual...it's on his time. Not sure what I'm going to do. Guess we'll talk about it this weekend.......

[Tiramisu]

I'm probably not the one to give you relationship advice. I totally believe in doing almost whatever it takes to save a marriage. Remember your vows, let go and let God, and pray like crazy.

[Janet]

I know Sandy....I'm just not in the mood to deal with him on top of everything else going on.

It will get better.

[judy]

Can you just tell him this, and that you will talk to him when you aren't so overwhelmed about your mother?

It was sweet that he gave you a card though. Doesn't mean you have to fall in love with him, but take it for what it was worth. Maybe a smile?

[Janet]

I know....I was terrible. I didn't mean to forget. I've just had so much going on here and trying to handle the Florida property. I honestly forgot and didn't know he would take it so personally. I'm usually good about being so organized and on top of things, but I blew it this time. I'm the bad girl in this....so I'll go sit in the corner for awhile.

[DianaB]

Maybe a talk with Rick is what you need....not to fall in love again but to get some of the resentment towards him resolved. He needs to know why you're angry with him so he can work on it. You both have a lot to resolve between the two of you just so you can at least live in a peaceful home. Don't get angry with him when you have your talk but remain calm so you can work things out. You can learn to get along better.....for Ricky's sake. Remember it takes two......to make a marriage......or destroy a marriage. It's never just one person's fault.

[Janet]

That's true. When we spoke the other night...he was the one that got a little loud. I wasn't angry at all. He asked questions...I answered calmly. I'm pretty much done with the anger so if he wants to talk about it again this weekend we can. I really don't want a divorce...I just want to live as partners...does that make sense? The marital feelings just aren't there anymore. We'll see....either way...I'm at peace with whatever happens.

[judy]

It sounds like youy know exactly what you want to do, so I would imagine you will get it. There isn't really anything to fight over.

[Janet]

You're a wise one Judy. Life is just way too short to fight over anything.