He's 21 Now

[Janet]

Not sure why I'm putting this here. I'm not really venting, I'm just worried. Today my son turned 21 years old....yes...that's right....legal age to drink in Indiana. I was able to see him for a little bit this morning and then he had work and I had a Drs. appointment. His Dad hasn't seen him at all today and he's not very happy about it.

Ricky is with a friend a couple years older than he, they shared their Eagle Scout ceremonies together. Well since Ricky doesn't have a Smart Phone, I checked his friends FB page and the two of them, plus a couple of girls are at a bar (Harry's Chocolate Bar) in Lafayette. Now we all know what a lot of kids do when they turn 21.....drink! Now I'm worried, who is the designated driver? Is he coming home? Is he staying the night with his friend? I don't want to embarass my 21 year old son by calling and checking up on him, but man....this sucks. It would almost be better if he moved out so I wouldn't be knowing every move he makes. It's after midnight now, I just hope they don't drink too much.

We were not even able to give him his birthday presents yet or have his favorite Eclair cake that I made for him. Guess what goes around comes around and it's coming right back at me full force.

[gja1000]

I hope everything turns out OK Janet. It is hard when our kids get older and begin to lead their own lives. I agree, it is easier when they are not living with you because then you don't know what they are doing or where they are all the time. He is growing up and is beginning to lead his own life, separate from you and his dad. That's the way it should be, but it doesn't make it any easier. You have raised him right, what happens now is guided by the decisions he makes, but he has a good foundation and whatever happens, you did the best you could do.

[DianaB]

So....how did things turn out?

It is hard when they turn "of age". You just have to trust them just like you did before. I will say that it is easier when they don't live at home because then you don't know EVERY little thing that they do and THEY don't have to check in with you. It is also harder.....for the same reasons!!

[JJJ]

Janet I'm sorry your going through this. But his 21 and trust me he will regret drinking when he wakes up in the morning

I think that most of the young ones that don't go drinking on their 21st birthday are depress at home for not having anyone to party with. Or worst they've been drinking at a younger age that drinking is whatever to them (not everyone).

I would just tell him that I hope he had a great night and to always remember that you are willing to pick him up if no one is sober enough to drive.

[Janet]

Ricky finally came home in time to take the cat and Brenna to their vet appointment at 1:00 today. He wasn't feeling the greatest...go figure. Yes...he got drunk and very sick. He's decided he really doesn't see the point since he doesn't like the taste of any of the drinks that he did manage to drink and he sure doesn't like waking up beside a puke bucket that his friend left for him in case he needed it.....which he did. The manager of the bar made them leave because my son was so drunk. His friend supposedly only drank a beer, but was the designated driver. Ricky slept at his house.

He said Chris (his friend) was having a New Year's party and he's planning on going, but he said he's not going to drink. Then he asked me "why do people do that?" Guess he knows now. We went to the vet and as soon as we got home...he went back to bed. He's just not feeling well, but he needed to learn.

[JJJ]

I think most people learn that way

[gja1000]

Yep, most people have to learn the hard way. Mine was on Boonsfarm (CHEAP) wine in college. Thought I was going to DIE and I NEVER did it again.

[Blueyes]

Oh Gayle! It was Boonsfarm Wild Mountain for me

Janet, when my boys were that age they were living at college, but I had to teach them that my home was not their hotel! I didn't tell them what they could or couldn't do, but they had to have the courtesy to tell me when they would be gone and when they would be home. Raising boys to be responsible men is a chore, but it sounds like Ricky is doing fine with his choices. I love that he told you all about his night

[Janet]

Ricky is usually pretty open about telling me what's going on. I've told him ever since he was little that he may get a talking to, but if he always told me the truth, I'd never punish him, but if he ever lied to me...there would be hell to pay.

His Dad came home and we found out he called Ricky's friend behind Ricky's back today to find out what happened. That makes me so angry and I told him so. He can ask his son...not go behind his back. Such a freak'n jerk!

I remember getting looped on Boonsfarms Strawberry wine....wow...what a headache....didn't do that again either.....well on wine anyway...lol.

[gja1000]

Originally Posted by Blueyes

Oh Gayle! It was Boonsfarm Wild Mountain for me

OF COURSE IT WAS BETSI! Although mine was Boonsfarm Strawberry Hill.

Oh Janet, I wanted to die, that was absolutely the WORST "day after"!

[2tiredmom]

Janet so glad he is ok. I know that feeling. when you can't really do anything about. just hope they remember what all you have taught them.

[DianaB]

It sounds like Ricky learned his lesson. However, watching his Dad should be lesson enough.

We never had a problem with drinking with our kids. I think that maybe one got drunk and another one drank some but we got off pretty easy. I asked an Aunt one time.....What she would do differently if she were raising her kids again? She told me that she would be up when they came home at night. So we were....usually. The kids never knew if we'd be up or in bed. They didn't want to have to face us if they'd been up to no good!!

[judy]

Well, he got that out of his system, didn't he? The sicker you get the first time you get drunk, the better off you will be later on!!!

He is a wonderful young man (can't say boy anymore), but I would sit him down and explain how nervous you get if he doesn't let you know his plans on coming home or not. You might want to add that even if he is not drinking and driving, other people are, and you need to know where he is spending the night.

Well, congrats on his 21st Birthday!!!

[Janet]

Oh...you don't have to worry Judy....I let him know all that and more....LOL.