So tired, can't sleep

[goofywife]

I would take a different approach. I like to listen to bag pipe music. So, at 6:00 when you were supposed to get up. I would hop out of bed, turn the music on (rather loudly). Start cooking a big breakfast (using lots of pots and pans) make as much noise as you can. Do it every time.

She will get the point, no need for words, just actions. For every action their is a reaction.

[Lindsey]

Originally Posted by Ponyup

I also think you should try & talk to your roommate. It sounds like she has self esteem issues & likes the attention she gets from men. I think she needs someone to help her realize she's worth more than that.

Oh my gosh, I have tried!!! Last year she was dating this absolute loser... he was 30 years old and lived with his mom and step-dad. But he acted like a kid in regards to his step-dad, they fought daily. He had a dead-end job and he couldn't even drive because he had a DUI. Anyways, he would always make plans with my roommate and then not show up. Or he would just not answer his phone when she would call 20 times a night, and then blame it on his cell phone not working. Or his voicemail wasn't working, he didn't get voicemails. His texting wasn't working. Whatever.
Anyways, one night her and I went out together, and he was supposed to be there and he didn't show up. We honestly spent half the night in the bathroom talking and hugging and crying... I was completely honest and told her I don't like this guy, she's a wonderful person and does not need to be treated like that. I didn't want to see her keep getting hurt. And she was crying and saying she knows that deep down but she's not strong enough to let it go... she just always wanted to wait a little longer to see if he'd change, but she knew in her heart he never would.
Kyle picked me up about 5 minutes later and I felt so good about our little talk. Kyle spent the night with me (just sleeping!) and we woke up in the morning and I was telling him how I'm so glad Stacey is finally going to leave this guy. And then... squeak squeak squeak squeak from her bedroom. We both looked at each other like It was him.
He showed up about a half hour after I left, and he apologized for being late, and that was good enough for her. Our whole night of heart-to-heart, hugs, tears, meant nothing as soon as he showed up

[Lindsey]

Originally Posted by goofywife

I would take a different approach. I like to listen to bag pipe music. So, at 6:00 when you were supposed to get up. I would hop out of bed, turn the music on (rather loudly). Start cooking a big breakfast (using lots of pots and pans) make as much noise as you can. Do it every time.

She will get the point, no need for words, just actions. For every action their is a reaction.

I actually did make noise in the morning too lol... it's also something the two of us did together last winter when my brother decided to have a big party on a weeknight when we had to work in the morning and he didn't. We got up early and blasted Christmas music throughout the house They had gone to sleep an hour earlier, and the house cleared out pretty quickly.
But yesterday morning I got up and had a shower, made coffee, made breakfast, all while watching the dog whisperer pretty loudly on tv. Last night, after the apology and everything, I heard her on the phone with someone complaining "I tried watching a movie when I got up, and she had it just CRANKED. I don't know how she could hear me at 2 in the morning when she can't even hear the tv at a normal level" Oh well.

[Ponyup]

Originally Posted by Lindsey

I actually did make noise in the morning too lol... it's also something the two of us did together last winter when my brother decided to have a big party on a weeknight when we had to work in the morning and he didn't. We got up early and blasted Christmas music throughout the house They had gone to sleep an hour earlier, and the house cleared out pretty quickly.
But yesterday morning I got up and had a shower, made coffee, made breakfast, all while watching the dog whisperer pretty loudly on tv. Last night, after the apology and everything, I heard her on the phone with someone complaining "I tried watching a movie when I got up, and she had it just CRANKED. I don't know how she could hear me at 2 in the morning when she can't even hear the tv at a normal level" Oh well.

Obviously subtlety doesn't work. You're going to have to sit her down & have a heart to heart. Drunk or not it's no excuse. Maybe write down the things you want to address so it doesn't get heated. I'm so sorry she feels she is worth so little & doesn't deserve better. I wish there was a way you could make her see that, but I know from experience it's very hard to open people's eyes to how wonderful & special they truely are. You cannot worry yourself with the choices she makes though, you can only control your choices. Now when her choices infringe on your sanity you have every right to address it.

[Lindsey]

Yes, she has definite self-esteem issues deep down, and I really don't think there's anything I can do to help it. I've tried. She's sort of the kind of person (and this isn't just my judgement, I've heard the same thing from many people who know her) who feels badly about herself PHYSICALLY so she tries to be the person who knows everything, who is always right (which is why I was so surprised she apologized!), thinks she has tons of friends, etc. It sometimes gets a little annoying. She talks herself up a lot, especially to people she barely knows, and it seems all to be an effort to make people like her. When really, she's be tons more likeable just being herself. And I think sex is the same thing... it's attention, and a way to maybe make a guy like her. I think she feels like if she doesn't sleep with a guy right away, he'll lose interest. But that's just what happens... he gets it right off the bat, so he does lose interest. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
Anyways... I think the apology she gave me was enough for now, even if she is complaining about me to her friends now. I mean, I'm complaining to you guys about her! It's different because her friends know me, but it doesn't bother me too much.
Oh and I agree... drunk isn't a good excuse. It's rude no matter what.

[Lindsey]

lol what a weekend for roommate troubles.... drunk roommate troubles at that! Kyle just told me that on Friday night one of his roommates got very very wasted and Kyle came home and he was just being really obnoxious... then Kyle's cousin's (who also lives there) friend came over and the roommate just exploded saying he hates that guy and get out of his house etc... everyone laughed thinking he was kidding, and then all of a sudden he was "f- you all i'm so f-ing sick of you guys. i'm done here, i'm moving the f- out" ... Kyle kept his cool which is rare (I told him I'm proud of him for it!!!) but I guess they asked him yesterday if he's still moving out and he said "well maybe" and they thought maybe he was joking... but wow, that is so unlike this guy. He's just very quiet and sarcastic, but he stays in his room most of the time. If he does move out, Kyle needs to find someone new quickly, because he can't afford his mortgage without one!
Weird weekend all around up here!

[Ponyup]

Maybe you could move in with Kyle; separate rooms of course. Then if your roommate is having drunken sex it will be with you HA!

[Lindsey]

Originally Posted by Ponyup

Maybe you could move in with Kyle; separate rooms of course. Then if your roommate is having drunken sex it will be with you HA!

LOL!!