First Grade Girl....

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by Chandra Amaya

Thank you for understanding & agreeing with me Janet. I was beginning to think I was lost in a time warp where I still thought schools & buses have responsiblity for the kids when no one else seems to. I think I will start a petition & insist that the school board hear me instead of asking. If I don't fight for my kids no one else will.

Chandra, you need to insist that your children sit in the seat behind the bus driver. That way he will be closer to the children to see what is happening. That may help for now, but you really need to find someone who will address this problem. They ARE responsible for your children while they are on the bus!!! Maybe a camera needs to be installed on your bus!!!

[Marilyn]

This whole thread has me upset. I want to adopt that little redheaded girl, Janet. She needs to be out of that environment.

Chandra, I agree with the ladies here, you have to do something to stop them for hurting your children. I'd go to the school board, superintendent, press, or wherever I had to and get something done!!! Diana is right, they need to put cameras on the bus if they have to have proof. I know some districts must use them. I've seen footage on TV of students misbehaving on the school bus. If they continue to get away with bullying the smaller children, they may progress to even worse behavior.

I don't know where our society is headed. Hopefully enough of this new generation have been raised well and can make some improvements to get things back on track. Morality, and I'm not just talking about sexual morality, is getting so bad in our modern world!!!!!

Okay, I'll try to calm down, but we all must to our part to try to make a difference and stop the abuse!!!

[Janet]

I know Marilyn, sometimes I wish I could take her in. The 3 adults in that house are not mentally able to take care of this little girl. Patty was so excited that she found a kitten last year, but they all forgot to feed it and it died. Same thing with a puppy this year. The child welfare and other county offices know all about the situation, yet it remains the same.

We have cameras in our buses. The thing is, I hardly ever have mine turned on. I just don't need it. My kids know I care a great deal about them, but they also know I wouldn't hesitate for a second to be in their face and haul their butts to the office for bad behavior.

You're right Marilyn, it's sad, the world we live in now, but if we could all just DEMAND better of our kids (whether ours or someone else's) everything would be okay for their future. Until we do that....well, all I can say is, I'm glad I won't be around.

[DianaB]

This is a really hard post for me to answer. We had a large 0family that came to church that had ALOT of problems. The father abused everyone. Our church gave them money for transportation to have surgery on one of the boys' hand and the father kept it and never had the surgery done (they had a medical card to pay for the surgery). It was really sad because the boys' hand was unusable. There was sexual abuse too. The stories that I heard would shock you.

I know that our pastor was in contact with SRS and, I think, that they were checking into some things when the family upped and moved to another state. I have a friend who is a distant relative and I know that the abuse continues. The oldest daughter had a baby by her father and the mother has had two babies removed from the home. So sad.

It's hard to sit by and watch these things go on and I don't understand how we can fix it. What kind of life will these kids have when they grow up with this kind of influence around them. All I know is to keep them in our prayers.

[Chandra Amaya]

Originally Posted by Marilyn

This whole thread has me upset. I want to adopt that little redheaded girl, Janet. She needs to be out of that environment.

Chandra, I agree with the ladies here, you have to do something to stop them for hurting your children. I'd go to the school board, superintendent, press, or wherever I had to and get something done!!! Diana is right, they need to put cameras on the bus if they have to have proof. I know some districts must use them. I've seen footage on TV of students misbehaving on the school bus. If they continue to get away with bullying the smaller children, they may progress to even worse behavior.

I don't know where our society is headed. Hopefully enough of this new generation have been raised well and can make some improvements to get things back on track. Morality, and I'm not just talking about sexual morality, is getting so bad in our modern world!!!!!

Okay, I'll try to calm down, but we all must to our part to try to make a difference and stop the abuse!!!

I have asked about cameras but since we have no state tax & budgets for schools are being cut drastically the schools do not have money to install them. I do understand that. I have never thought of going to the press. I just get the run around from the bus supervisor, the school & the school board. Thanks for that idea.

[blowry]

Originally Posted by Janet

I have a first grade girl that rides my bus. She's a cute little redhead, but is being raised by morons. She lives with her aunt, mother and her aunt and mother's step-father, whom she calls Dad.

These girls (aunt and mother) walk the county roads in search of men who will take them into the woods and well, let's say they are not hunting for mushrooms. None of them work and the place they live in smells from the road. It's horrible. They have had welfare and the Sheriff called on them many times.

Anyway, I finally had to 'write-up' this little girl. Yesterday she hit a fellow student twice and this morning gave a boy the 'finger.' I just don't know what I'm going to do with her. I know it's not her fault, but I can't have her acting that way on the bus. I'm trying as gently as I can to lead her in the right direction, but with her family's influence most of the time...it's an up hill battle.

I told her the next time she did these nasty things, I would have to write her up and send her to the office. She was a little afraid this morning. I hated having to do it, but she needs to understand those kind of actions will not be tolerated.

Oh, and she is also the girl that told a couple of boys on the bus that she wanted them to unzip their pants so she could see their pee pee. Can you believe she is being raised this way? It breaks my heart.

Janet, maybe sending her to the office would be a good thing, especially with the way she acts and the conditions she lives in. God only knows what goes on in that house! And if the Aunt and Mother are out looking for "mushrooms" in the woods who knows what happens if they bring the "mushroom" home. There are so many children being molested today that it makes me sick...It definately sounds like something (not good) is going on with this little girl...I know teachers HAVE to report abuse if the even think it's happening...Maybe by sending her to the office they will get out of her what ever it is that is going on....If anything. And get her help.

Hi I am new her today and just read your post....It is just terrible the way some parents bring up there children these days! And people wonder why the jails are so overcrowded and that there are all kinds of kids in gangs and stuff. It all starts at home. What a shame, and I really feel for you for having to deal with this on the bus. My mom was a school bus driver for 25 years and I would monitor on her bus of "troubled" kids. Its unbelievable some of the stuff you see and hear. After monitoring for a few years.....that was it for me. I had to get out of it...I never EVER wanted to be near a school bus again. God Bless You! Good luck.

Tami

Originally Posted by Chandra Amaya

I agree you did the right thing. I know its hard & you feel for her but she has to learn what is appropiate from somewhere. If everone just allows her to get away with things because of the horrible situation she is in, then she will grow up to believe what she does is acceptable & eventually use her homelife as an excuse instead of a reason to strive for something better. As she gets older & starts to understand "how society works" alittle better, just continue to let her know you are there if she needs someone. Maybe if she starts talking social services will remove her from the home or atleast she will open up to people who can lead her in the right direction.

It is wonderful to know that some bus drivers/ School officials/ ect still do care. My 8 yr old son & 11 yr old daughter (both very small for their ages) ride with high school students. I can't drive them because my oldest son has to be picked up & dropped off as they get out & it is too far away to do both. These high school students harass & beat on the elementary students & despite my attempts to try to talk with the school about solutions, no one seems to care. I have suggested having elementary on separate buses, an extra school official on the bus to keep order while the driver drives. None of this happens. My son has come home bleeding from just to the side of his eye, holding his stomach, with gum stuck in his hair, has cans & bottles throw at him (which for one should not be allowed on the bus & for 2 that's how his eye got busted...by a GLASS bottle), & with many cuts & bruises. My daughter finally got fed up with being hurt & started fighting back. Mysteriously, the driver saw her hit back & she was suspended from the bus for 3 days. The excuse is always "they didn't see the person" who hit my kids & can't just take other students on the bus' word for what happened. I wish I had some way to get them there without the bus. I wonder daily which one will be hurt & how badly.

girl dont worry about venting our school district just adpated the idea of having all schools except middle and high school are inthe same school and will ride the same buses home and etc and basically they tell me that they will never see each other, yeah right when i send my twins to school i want them to be able to feel safe and not intimidated by these kids that are bullies, and i cannot continue to work full time and not be able to pick them up from school, my only other solution was to go to day care after school sice they have one bus that goes to day care.
its sad how can you haev that i mean we have kids in the 6th grade haveing intercourse and such and fighting and startinf fires etc i mean all that crazy stuff and i want my innocent kindergarteners ont he bus with them, its sad and sickening

tehy need to be serperated and they need to stick with their age groups


on the subject of this littel girl, its so sad i have an aunt who had 4 kids and her first 2 she had normal and the last 2 se became big time on drugs, and during the raising of these kids they were not there, sleeping all day and doing drgs all night

my grandma raised them and now the youngest i think is 13 and he tried to be bad but he tred to be good from all of us helping him and i finally told them off one day and told them they need to do better for thier kids to be parents and you know the dad pulled his head out of his butt and e workds now and he bought a car and stuff anf the mom is just still cracked out
its sad
but you know i can onlyhope that this little girl can remeber to see what you have done and can continue to do for her and take that with her in life, i mean thats so sad to have her reaised liek that and asking boys to do that oh no i mean thats a case of well anything these boys minds wander to

and if she says that to the wrong boy or to the wrong age boy then lord knows what might be done to her

uhh and you can turn the family in over and over and most likley nothing will happen we have seen it done to many times.
i can only pray for her and her family
it breaks my heart to see that littel girl let down

Your little red-headed 1st grader is most definitely a victim of sexual abuse. Please report what you have observed and know to CPS (Child Protective Services). Her school can help with the paperwork. It is not complicated. And she does need your help. The obnoxious behaviors she demonstrates on your bus sound like "acting out" behaviors typical of abused kids. Be a hero and report her case ASAP. You will be glad you did. And good for you to worry enough about her and post her situation. The world needs more people like you who care for kids. They are the future.

[judy]

Janet,

You are just what this little girl needs. She's old enough for you to talk to her. I wouldn't bring up her family, but I would discuss her behavior with her and I would also track down someone in her school or district who cares and get them together. Her family isn't going to step up, but if she's going to be a survivor, she needs to learn to get her needs met by those outside of her family. When I was doing drop-out prevention with little ones who were "at risk," I can't tell you the stories I came across. Children who are able to find adults who are caring will be able to survive. This may, in fact, be one of the reasons she is acting out on your bus. She's checking you out to see if you're going to help her. It's heartbreaking to watch, but somebody has to help these abused children, at least to the extent that you can. I had my heart broken so often just listening to some of their stories, but by just listening, I know I helped these kids. The most important thing for a child is that somebody loves them enough to listen to them and acceptm their feelings without judgement.

She's lucky she found you,

[judy]

Originally Posted by Chandra Amaya

I agree you did the right thing. I know its hard & you feel for her but she has to learn what is appropriate from somewhere. If everyone just allows her to get away with things because of the horrible situation she is in, then she will grow up to believe what she does is acceptable & eventually use her homelife as an excuse instead of a reason to strive for something better. As she gets older & starts to understand "how society works" a little better, just continue to let her know you are there if she needs someone. Maybe if she starts talking social services will remove her from the home or at least she will open up to people who can lead her in the right direction.

It is wonderful to know that some bus drivers/ School officials/ ect still do care. My 8 yr old son & 11 yr old daughter (both very small for their ages) ride with high school students. I can't drive them because my oldest son has to be picked up & dropped off as they get out & it is too far away to do both. These high school students harass & beat on the elementary students & despite my attempts to try to talk with the school about solutions, no one seems to care. I have suggested having elementary on separate buses, an extra school official on the bus to keep order while the driver drives. None of this happens. My son has come home bleeding from just to the side of his eye, holding his stomach, with gum stuck in his hair, has cans & bottles throw at him (which for one should not be allowed on the bus & for 2 that's how his eye got busted...by a GLASS bottle), & with many cuts & bruises. My daughter finally got fed up with being hurt & started fighting back. Mysteriously, the driver saw her hit back & she was suspended from the bus for 3 days. The excuse is always "they didn't see the person" who hit my kids & can't just take other students on the bus' word for what happened. I wish I had some way to get them there without the bus. I wonder daily which one will be hurt & how badly.

Chandra,

After teaching for 20 something years I have learned that parents who absolutely will not accept anything but what their children need are taken seriously.
Way too often, if they sense that you are willing to wait for them to do something about a bad situation, they'll just leave you hanging. The parents who are totally assertive and want what they want, with no exceptions, are those that get it. The squeaky wheel gets the grease - especially in the school system.

What's happening to your kids is totally unacceptable. How they fix it is their problem. They may need to be told that you are going to sue them or get the news involved. They won't like you for it, but your kids won't come home battered.
My daughter's elementary school principal knew how I liked my coffee because I went right into his office whenever something I didn't like came up. Her middle school had to change the math curriculum because of me. (It was a terrible curriculum, most of the kids were failing and they lied about it. I demanded to see all of their grades and called them on it. It was revised the next day).

Advice from an assertive Mom,

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by judy

Janet,

You are just what this little girl needs. She's old enough for you to talk to her. I wouldn't bring up her family, but I would discuss her behavior with her and I would also track down someone in her school or district who cares and get them together. Her family isn't going to step up, but if she's going to be a survivor, she needs to learn to get her needs met by those outside of her family. When I was doing drop-out prevention with little ones who were "at risk," I can't tell you the stories I came across. Children who are able to find adults who are caring will be able to survive. This may, in fact, be one of the reasons she is acting out on your bus. She's checking you out to see if you're going to help her. It's heartbreaking to watch, but somebody has to help these abused children, at least to the extent that you can. I had my heart broken so often just listening to some of their stories, but by just listening, I know I helped these kids. The most important thing for a child is that somebody loves them enough to listen to them and acceptm their feelings without judgement.

She's lucky she found you,

Very well said Judy! I have been accepted for employment by the local Department of Children's Services to be a case manager when I graduate so I will be hearing a lot of these types of stories as well. I only hope I can make some kind of difference. It breaks my heart to hear of the things some children have to go through, but to know that I could possibly make a huge difference in the life of one of these children is amazing to me.

Thank you Judy for being willing to fulfill such a difficult but important role in your community by helping those high-risk children. That's really wonderful and shows a lot of character!

[judy]

Back at you Angie! Congratulations on getting such a high position. Those children will love you. Keep us posted.

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by judy

Back at you Angie! Congratulations on getting such a high position. Those children will love you. Keep us posted.

Well, I still have three more semesters of college before I first start and after my initial internship (which is three months) I will be going back for my grad degree (a one year advanced standing program) and THEN I'll start for real. So I've still got a while before I actually start, but I'm looking forward to it. Thanks for the encouragement!

Oh, Janet, this story just broke my heart. This poor little girl, honestly, getting the attention of getting in trouble may get her the help she needs. I have a kindergartener and a 1st grader, and honestly was horrified that this girl has actual knowledge of these things.

This is so horrible, some people shouldn't be allowed to raise children. Poor child.