I need a friend

I am sorry to hear about the things you are going through with your husbands condition. I had a boyfriend who's mother (in my own thought) had some sort of mood disorder which seemed very closely related to bipolar (her sister was diagnosed with bipolar). It was very difficult dealing with her mood swings because it was like my boyfriend had to decided a lot between her and me due to the fact that I was not allowed over there (for no reason practically at all - i didnt do anything wrong and always respected her wishes) a lot of the time. So I truly believe i know where you are coming from what you are saying it is difficult because it truly is. But hang in there hun, stay strong even though its going to be tough sometimes. and I would say give the medication some time and if it doesnt seem to be working go back to the doctor and see if there is something else or some other medication that will work better. If you ever need someone to talk to ill be here for ya. Im not on here all that much but im on YT a lot xliloliverdiorx is my screenname if you want to pm me ever, if not though thats alright too ill keep you in thoughts and prayers.

[blowry]

Originally Posted by hollisterxsurfx

I am sorry to hear about the things you are going through with your husbands condition. I had a boyfriend who's mother (in my own thought) had some sort of mood disorder which seemed very closely related to bipolar (her sister was diagnosed with bipolar). It was very difficult dealing with her mood swings because it was like my boyfriend had to decided a lot between her and me due to the fact that I was not allowed over there (for no reason practically at all - i didnt do anything wrong and always respected her wishes) a lot of the time. So I truly believe i know where you are coming from what you are saying it is difficult because it truly is. But hang in there hun, stay strong even though its going to be tough sometimes. and I would say give the medication some time and if it doesnt seem to be working go back to the doctor and see if there is something else or some other medication that will work better. If you ever need someone to talk to ill be here for ya. Im not on here all that much but im on YT a lot xliloliverdiorx is my screenname if you want to pm me ever, if not though thats alright too ill keep you in thoughts and prayers.

Thank you very much. I truly appreciate it.

[Gina]

Hi Brenda

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I have a niece whose husband was diagnosed with being bi polar. They had issues last summer and he came out and told us that he was a drug addict and came to us for help. Apparently my niece wanted a divorce if he was not going to get help. To make a long story short he went into rehab. and is seeing a therapist to help him fight the drug addiction. It s sad for I no longer see him much he works a lot, but we saw him on New Years Eve and he seems like a different person. I guess its the medicine he was so quiet and very much to himself. My nephew I know him over 10 yrs. he was always the life of the party. I found out he was always on drugs it was not his personality we were witnessing. My niece is not one to talk she does not tell us much, when I see her she says he is ok.

Sorry I cannot be of help, this is a tough situation, but Brenda I believe that God carries you through whatever cross you are given. For we all carry a cross at one time or another. Try to be patient and see the therapist for you need to take care of YOU too.

Prayers and hugs sent your way, always feel that you can vent here, we are here for you.

[Tink]

I have a close family member who was diagnosed as bi-polar many years ago. It was awful when she was drinking as the meds couldn't work right with alcohol in the mix.

Once she quit drinking, things improved dramatically. I wonder if that might be the issue there as well? Alcohol IS a depressant... and in someone who is already struggling, is just a really bad idea.

Good luck to you. What you need to try to do is to just live for yourself and let him work out his own problem. It may sound cold, but you can't "fix" him, so there's no sense in going down with him if he refuses to help himself.

I'm sorry... been in your shoes and they hurt!

[blowry]

Originally Posted by Gina

Hi Brenda

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I have a niece whose husband was diagnosed with being bi polar. They had issues last summer and he came out and told us that he was a drug addict and came to us for help. Apparently my niece wanted a divorce if he was not going to get help. To make a long story short he went into rehab. and is seeing a therapist to help him fight the drug addiction. It s sad for I no longer see him much he works a lot, but we saw him on New Years Eve and he seems like a different person. I guess its the medicine he was so quiet and very much to himself. My nephew I know him over 10 yrs. he was always the life of the party. I found out he was always on drugs it was not his personality we were witnessing. My niece is not one to talk she does not tell us much, when I see her she says he is ok.

Sorry I cannot be of help, this is a tough situation, but Brenda I believe that God carries you through whatever cross you are given. For we all carry a cross at one time or another. Try to be patient and see the therapist for you need to take care of YOU too.

Prayers and hugs sent your way, always feel that you can vent here, we are here for you.

Thank you Gina!
I am glad to hear that your neice's husband realized he had a problem and did something about it. Hubby has always been a hyper person and very social person. He did have a problem with cocaine before we got married. This is my second marriage. We have just been married for 8 yrs, I told him that he had to make a choice...the drug or me...well, he chose me and he hasn't used for over 10 yrs....THANK GOD!! And he KNOWS, as much as it would break my heart, that if he ever started using again that I would leave him. I am 50yrs "young" with 2 beautiful daughters (from a previous marriage) and my oldest is expecting my first grandchild in July...I try to focus on my girls...they don't like what they see and hear him treat me the way he does but, I ask them not to say anything because it would just make my situation worse. I just pray that this medication works......soon!

Thank you for responding and your kind words

Hugs,
Brenda

[blowry]

Originally Posted by Tink

I have a close family member who was diagnosed as bi-polar many years ago. It was awful when she was drinking as the meds couldn't work right with alcohol in the mix.

Once she quit drinking, things improved dramatically. I wonder if that might be the issue there as well? Alcohol IS a depressant... and in someone who is already struggling, is just a really bad idea.

Good luck to you. What you need to try to do is to just live for yourself and let him work out his own problem. It may sound cold, but you can't "fix" him, so there's no sense in going down with him if he refuses to help himself.

I'm sorry... been in your shoes and they hurt!

Thanks Tink!
I have told Hubby that he shouldn't be drinking while on the meds...and so has his therapist but, he is going to do what he wants...I do believe that one day he is going to realize he shouldn't be and either cut way down(he will never stop) or I will have a very difficult decision to make. This isn't my first time dealing with an abusive (verbally/emotionally) husband. My X was also like this but, no mood disorders. He did hit me a few times an threaten me. This lasted for 19yrs before I finally said "I've had enough!" Now I'm in the same situation.....again...I seem to gravitate towards people that need help...I once had a therapist tell me that I can't save the world...well, I keep trying but, it's not working. Hubby told me that he likes himself and likes the way he is and he will never stop drinking....I believe this is all part of bi-polar.....the, "you're not going to tell me what to do" and "you're not my mother". It's that feeling of being the best, invincible..nothing's going to happen to me because I am great. I can't talk to him because he won't listen...or he doesn't hear the words I am saying...he takes everything out of context and, in his mind, I am saying something completely different than what I am actually saying. I will tell him something and he will repeat the same story but in a different way and tell me I am wrong and then agrue with me....for HOURS and sometimes DAYS! Then he realizes how he treated me and apologizes for days after...He tells me..."you know how much I love you and that I'm a dick, just dont' everything so personally" HOW CAN I NOT!!! when he is attacking me....Then there are days that he acts like a child, and then days that he is ok,....I'm just so confused...I wish I could find a support group around here to go to just to vent and hear other's stories. I'm sure that would help. I do ignore him alot and when I can see an episode coming I stay clear, when he starts drinking I won't talk to him at all...I stay in another room....He seems to like to start crap when he's had a few beers and I've learned (from being there before) you can't reason with a drunk!
As for the shoes......I don't like them! I think I'd rather be bare footed

Thanks for your response Tink, I'm glad I at least have WT to come to to vent

Hugs,
Brenda

[judy]

It sounds exhausting! After 2 divorces, I certainly understand your pain.

I was watching someone on TV this morning and she was saying that sometimes, when you pray, God will take away the problem. Sometimes though, he doesn't take it away. You have to believe that God is right there with you and will be with you until you get through it. She also talked about how important it is to believe that God gave you this problem for a reason. You may never know the reason, but believe that you will become better for it.

I don't mean to sound preachy, but this always helps me enormously when I'm going through something.

I think it's wonderful that you work in a counseling center! Talk about having a support system!

[Janet]

I'm glad you posted that Judy...it's something I really need to try and remember.

[blowry]

Originally Posted by judy

It sounds exhausting! After 2 divorces, I certainly understand your pain.

I was watching someone on TV this morning and she was saying that sometimes, when you pray, God will take away the problem. Sometimes though, he doesn't take it away. You have to believe that God is right there with you and will be with you until you get through it. She also talked about how important it is to believe that God gave you this problem for a reason. You may never know the reason, but believe that you will become better for it.

I don't mean to sound preachy, but this always helps me enormously when I'm going through something.

I think it's wonderful that you work in a counseling center! Talk about having a support system!

You are right Judy! I truly believe that every happens for a reason. I do pray everyday that we will get through this and, we will...it's just going to take time. God has a plan for me (as well as everyone else) and that is why he had me find my hubby...Hubby needs my help. I honestly don't think that anyone would have stayed with him as long as I have. I am a very patient person and love my husband very dearly...I just want my "old" husband back.

Thanks again Judy

[DianaB]

Brenda, I think that you just need a BIG hug. Come here, girlfriend....... You know that we're all here for ya'!

[blowry]

Originally Posted by DianaB

Brenda, I think that you just need a BIG hug. Come here, girlfriend....... You know that we're all here for ya'!

Thank you Diana...you are so sweet....Hubby seems to be on the "up" side right now...this is a good thing,....praying that he can stay there for a while. But, I know he won't...This is the bad thing about bi-polar...they live life on a rollercoaster of emotions....I just enjoy it while I have it.