So sad right now......

[DianaB]

How are things going now, Diane?

[DIANE W]

Oh... thanks so much for thinking about me, we had the funeral on Friday, and it was a really lovely service, everyone attended that she would have wanted to be there.
It was an ordeal, but somehow enjoyable at the same time, a family friend said such a nice eulogy, it was so moving, another friend did a poem that was very appropriate, and we had some lovely hymns at church, i dont know if you are familiar with them. (1) - I watch the sunrise + (2) - Do not be afraid.

In the crematorium we had - The Way We Were (Barbara Strisand) and then Amazing Grace, as everyone was leaving.

We then went and had a little something to eat and drink, which was nice for my Uncle to get to speak to old friends and family he had not seen for a while.

So now we try to get used to her not being with us anymore, its very hard for him, but we talk and laugh a lot, and time is a good healer and will make life more bearable for us.

[Blueyes]

I'm glad it went as well as possible. Now comes the hard part.. adjusting to life without her. You have a wonder attitude that I know will help you and your Uncle a lot!

[DianaB]

I'm glad that everything went well. Your Uncle is very blessed to have you in his life. It will be hard for him to adjust to your Aunt not being there but, thankfully he has you!!

Personally I think that talking about her and laughing will help both of you to go through your loss. Hugs to you both!!!

[DIANE W]

Thanks again, I have been with him most of the day today, cleaning and shopping etc.

We are both ok.

[lynne b]

Diana, you have made it through the hard part, now you and your uncle are on your way to remembering all the good times with your aunt and adjusting to a new way of life without her, you are such a wonderful person to be there to help your uncle through this hard time. Prayers to you both.

[DIANE W]

Originally Posted by lynne b

Diana, you have made it through the hard part, now you and your uncle are on your way to remembering all the good times with your aunt and adjusting to a new way of life without her, you are such a wonderful person to be there to help your uncle through this hard time. Prayers to you both.

Thank you Lynne, I am just that sort of family orientated person, but even though there are other neices and nephews, I have always been extra close (more like a daughter), to my Aunt and Uncle.

He seems to be doing ok, suffering in his own way i think, but we do talk of her, and remember conversations etc. It does help, I am just taking one day and a time, i know time will help us.

[gja1000]

Yes, one day at a time makes it more bearable. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. You are such a special person!

[DIANE W]

Thank you Gayle.... It is good to be able to come here and chat, because to everyone i am the strong one, the one that holds everything together. Which i can do fine, but its nice to be able to come here and talk about how i feel.

Thanks everyone, you are all very special people, and its lovely to be a part of something so wonderful and supportive.

[judy]

It is hard to lose someone you love, especially when you are alone. You and your Uncle are so lucky to have each other.

I will keep you both in my heart and my prayers.

[DianaB]

You're right, Diane, we have a group of very special women!! I'm glad that you're part of our group and that you feel comfortable to come here and confide in us. We all need a place where we can share things!! I love this site and all of the women here.......and that includes YOU!!!

[DIANE W]

Thank you for saying that Diana - it means a lot.

[Janet]

I know as each day passes...it will become a little easier for you and your uncle. It will never be the same, but when you hold memories close...it will be more than bearable. Just take your time...everyone grieves in different ways and in the time it takes to start moving again.

I have always felt the hard part was after everyone goes back to their normal lives...you and your uncle will still be grieving. Don't be afraid to talk about your aunt, others may want to, but will be afraid it may upset you, it will help you and them to talk.

Like the others have said....I'm so glad you're a part of the wonderful women here. Whenever you need us...just let us know.

[DIANE W]

Thank you Janet, you are so kind.

I agree it will get a little easier, we do talk about her quite a lot, and i am not afraid to tell my uncle a funny story of one of our conversations or outings - and we do end up laughing.

I think you are right other people tend to not talk too much for fear of upsetting us, my Uncle said today he feels totally lost and said he still feels her presence in the home.

I explained it must be so much harder for him, because i can go home and it may sound silly but i sometimes can think she is still at home - only for a little while, then it comes back to me that she isnt.

But we do think about her all the time, and we have talked about her passing and agreed that if you have to go then the way she went was the best way - it was so peaceful and calm.

Thank you again everyone for your good wishes and thoughtful posts.

[gja1000]

Originally Posted by DIANE W

my Uncle said today he feels totally lost and said he still feels her presence in the home.

I have no doubt that she is close and watching over him. Maybe she will be able to come to him in a dream at some point and tell him she is OK and he's going to be OK too. That often happens.

Maybe when he is feeling so lost and feeling her presence, he could sit quietly and think about his fondest memories or think about what she might be wanting him to do when he is feeling so lost. That might help bring him some peace. Those feelings are so normal, but they feel so abnormal.