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Old 11-08-2006, 04:15 PM   #16
RLC12345678
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I, too, am happy that things have seemed to work out. I would still HIGHLY recommend to you read He's Just Not That Into You. I'm not saying that your bf isn't into you, but it is very enlightening.
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Old 11-08-2006, 04:34 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by RLC12345678
I, too, am happy that things have seemed to work out. I would still HIGHLY recommend to you read He's Just Not That Into You. I'm not saying that your bf isn't into you, but it is very enlightening.
I LOVE that book!! I learned soooo much!
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Old 11-08-2006, 04:40 PM   #18
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I LOVE that book!! I learned soooo much!

OMG! ME TOO!!!!!!!!! I had SOOOOOOOOOO many friends break up with their bf's after reading this book. Amazing and so straightforward.
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Old 11-08-2006, 05:08 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by Janet
I am happy that things went well...just a word of caution..

After an abuser beats the crap out of his wife...he tells her he's sorry, loves her, don't know why he acted that way, won't happen again--------------and then it does.

Amen sister!!

Just listen to your gut from now on , it will direct you into making the right decisions.. Good luck..
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Old 11-08-2006, 05:13 PM   #20
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I am happy that things went well...just a word of caution..

After an abuser beats the crap out of his wife...he tells her he's sorry, loves her, don't know why he acted that way, won't happen again--------------and then it does.

this is so true! Just please be careful and trust your instinct, even if it is telling you to do something that you don't want to do.
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Old 11-09-2006, 03:02 AM   #21
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I am glad things worked out for you. It sure would be nice if men came with a manual! Men are like that. I haven't met one that didn't keep at least a few things bottled up.
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Old 11-09-2006, 01:32 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by RLC12345678
I, too, am happy that things have seemed to work out. I would still HIGHLY recommend to you read He's Just Not That Into You. I'm not saying that your bf isn't into you, but it is very enlightening.

oh i definately read that book last week after you recommended it and i loved it. it allowed me to realized what i needed to speak up to phil about. it also gave me the courage to know what i want and to know that i deserve and not to accept anything less. if i give him 100% of me everyday so can he. thanks so much for the tip ... i already sent a copy to all of my sisters and friends!
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Old 11-09-2006, 01:39 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by Janet
I am happy that things went well...just a word of caution..

After an abuser beats the crap out of his wife...he tells her he's sorry, loves her, don't know why he acted that way, won't happen again--------------and then it does.

You got that right!

I just want to ad one more thing, ALWAYS listen to your "gut feeling" ... never ignore it, because that "tiny voice" is always right!!

Best wishes to you, and good luck
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Old 11-09-2006, 06:01 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janet
I am happy that things went well...just a word of caution..

After an abuser beats the crap out of his wife...he tells her he's sorry, loves her, don't know why he acted that way, won't happen again--------------and then it does.

you took the words right out of my mouth! And take it from someone who's been there...verbal and emotional abuse are the worse....sorry can only work so many times then it gets old...Men feel if they say they're sorry it makes it better..well it does if they don't do it again...if you are sorry you DON'T do it again...
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Old 11-10-2006, 03:40 AM   #25
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you took the words right out of my mouth! And take it from someone who's been there...verbal and emotional abuse are the worse....sorry can only work so many times then it gets old...Men feel if they say they're sorry it makes it better..well it does if they don't do it again...if you are sorry you DON'T do it again...

EXACTLY !!!!! Of course, it should never happen in the first place!
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Old 11-10-2006, 02:46 PM   #26
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EXACTLY !!!!! Of course, it should never happen in the first place!

amen! i agree... and i let phil know that this was NOT something that i would put myself through.. so lets pray that he is aware and can openly talk and get his problems out in the open and not screaming them at me! if only boys were girls.... life would be easier lol
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Old 11-10-2006, 05:16 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by tumblnstar
the way phil looked last night when he was talking to me.. i knew that he was sincere. but i most definately let him know that the way he spoke to me was unacceptable. and now he knows that the consequences of another outburst will be losing me. i just hope he can learn to open up and get away from the patterns of his father and childhood.
Gosh, just make a promise to yourself. If he EVER acts like that again, pack up and leave. PERIOD! I came from a relationship where I was yelled at, told I was worthless, abused...and then next thing I know, he's sooo sorry and he didn't mean it, and it was all due 'to his bad childhood, his dad beat him and abandoned him, mom wasn't supportive, etc." Those are terrible things, but THATS NO EXCUSE! I had to learn the hard way, and I beat myself up about it all the time for being so stupid and not leaving! It sounds so similar to your situation...I cooked, cleaned,... ...everything.

I'm sorry to be so negative, I just don't want you to get hurt...I want to help people, with the knowledge that I learned from a horrible past.

On a brighter side, I sincerely hope that he's sorry, and he didn't mean it, and that it won't ever happen again. Just be careful please!!!!
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