What to do...

[Lindsey]

Hey everyone. I thought last night was going to be IT. He was very blunt in his emails and said he wants to talk about it in person, so he called me after work and we decided to go for supper. So we went to the restaurant and were sitting out on the patio all alone and he asked what I wanted to talk about. I basically said, I like him, and I would like the relationship to work out, but it's absolutely not going to if he keeps being so stubborn. I'm not going to do whatever he wants me to do, and if that's how he thinks, I'm not gonna stick around. I said the only thing we fight about is Layla, and if he's not willing to just let that go and COMPROMISE with me, it won't work because Layla's always going to be there. He said he would try.
We went for a walk down by the river for a couple of hours and were both happy. When we got home and Layla came into my room I asked him if he wanted me to put her out and he said "No, don't worry about it" When she jumped on the bed he petted her. This morning when she noticed we were awake she ran and jumped on my bed... but she jumped right onto my pillow. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow but didn't say a word, and I told her no, and lifted her off.
I am happy and a little surprised that he actually is making an effort now. I don't know how long it's going to last. I hope my talk with him gave him a little insight into how serious this is to me.
And if things go back to the way they were before, he had his chance. It will be done.

P.S. Judy - I think I'll have to get the tattoo I designed, and then let enough time go by to forget how much it hurts, and THEN maybe get another

[Ponyup]

Okay, I haven't responded yet because i've been thinking about this. I feel there are 2 possibilities here. 1. he is a control freak & wants things his way at all times. In my opinion you shouldn't be up with that. It's your dog in your house & you should be able to let her act however, you want her to act. If you both agree her behaviour is annoying then you can do steps to remedy that. However, if you like her on your bed & like her cuddling with you then you should be able to allow your dog to do those things in your house. Im sure you don't go to his house & tell him to put the toilet seat down or pick up his underwear.

2. He might be insecure & afraid of getting hurt. Do you know his dating history? I tried to do this. When someone would start to get close to me I would pick fights to push them away because I had been hurt really bad. When I tried this with my husband (before we were married) he flat out said, don't try that s*** with me I'm not going anywhere. If this is his issue then try & put his mind at ease that you aren't going anywhere.

However, from what you have told us I believe it is the other thing. He is old school big dog. Dogs shouldn't be on beds, in your lap, giving face kisses, ect ect ect. This is your dog & your house & you can treat it as you like & you shouldn't apologize for that. If a guy truely likes you he will accept things like this because they make you happy. Since he doesn't seem to be accepting I would let this one go & wait for someone you & your dog can be yourselfs around.

[Lindsey]

Well, I've been thinking for awhile that it might be number 2... I know he has had long relationships in the past, and then he didn't date at all for about a year. His last two relationships happened while I was friends with him and both lasted for only about a month. They just fought all the time. Right after we started dating I was talking to a friend on facebook about dating and she said she just can't stick with one guy for long, and I said something like "I know... I usually get bored easily, but right now things are going great with Kyle because we actually do things and don't just sit around every day. I'm not bored at all!" anyways.. I guess he read that and is paranoid that I'm getting bored of him. He always asks me if I'm dumping him, or if I'm bored of him yet. He's scared I'm just gonna all of a sudden decide he's not fun anymore and just leave him.

[Lindsey]

Oh, and I DO understand where he's coming from with her behavior being annoying... It's not so much a problem to me anymore because I've had her for a year and a half and I'm used to it. I babied her a lot when she was a puppy and she does want my attention all the time. I'm used to giving it to her. When I first got her it was difficult for me too. I wasn't used to a dog in my bed, on my couch, sleeping on my feet. She's just ALWAYS there. I understand that it bothers him. His dogs aren't even allowed in his room. I guess it's just our different views on animals... for him they're animals. For me they're little furry people with love and feelings. I don't know if this is going to work out long-term. I just know that right now I don't want to let it go when there's a little part of me that still thinks if we both make some comprimises, we will be okay.