She's Back In The Hospital Again.

[Shada]

Hope the New Year brings more strength back to your Mom.

Glad she is home!!!!

[paula1961]

I'm so glad to hear that your Mom is home Janet. I pray that she continues to improve!!

[Janet]

It's been a rough couple of days. On Thursday night, Mom went in to turn her cycler on so her dialysis fluid warms up. She said she went in a little after 6:00 pm and called me at 6:30 telling me she just got up off the floor...that she must have passed out. She said she didn't need anything but thought I needed to know. The roads were real slick so I called my brother who is only a few blocks from her. When she went down...she hit her head above her left eye, scraped her right arm enough that it brought blood to the surface of her skin and on her left arm...scraped the top level of skin off. It was soooo close to her fistula that if it had punctured it...she would have bled to death.

I took her to her scheduled Dr. visit on Friday. Her Dr. checked her over and when speaking with Mom found out this isn't the first blackout, she had another within the last week. She also had a close one with me at her house and another at the Dr.'s office. The Dr. seems to think it's her heart. She did speak with her a bit about realizing that Mom isn't going to be able to stay by herself much longer.

Mom as a vist to her heart Dr. scheduled so hopefully we'll learn something there. If it wasn't so painful it would be funny, but now on top of everything else.....mom's hemmeroids are acting up. She just cried and said "what more am I gonna have to go through". I feel so bad for her.

I do think she'll be coming out to our house for awhile. I told her we'd bring her bed since she's used to it and her recliner. She started to cry and said she didn't want to lose her house and things, but I assured her that wasn't going to happen. That I could still take her there once in a while during the day, but at night she needed to stay with me. She's been doing okay on her dialysis, but forgetting how to get the 'cassette' out of her cycler, so I've had to go in and do it.

If feels like posting about my Mom is all I do anymore and I'm so sorry. It's getting to be too much and I'm exhausted and tired of crying so much myself. Please just keep us in your prayers.

[gja1000]

Janet, Janet, Janet, I was afraid something like this was going on since you hadn't been here or FB for a few days. I'm so sorry.

It is so very hard to make this transition. You are right though, it is not safe for your mom to be alone anymore. She likely needs a pacemaker and that may help the blackout spells, but with all her health problems, it just isn't safe for her to be alone. Many families have to make this decision and it is very hard. I know she doesn't want to give up her independence and her home and privacy, but sometimes in order to be safe, we have to compromise. On the other hand, some people say that they want to stay home no matter the consequences, and then we have to accept the consequences if something terrible happens.

It sounds like she is willing to stay with you - but this will change your life for the foreseeable future and it is hard. I haven't gone through this with my mom, but with Gary 7 years ago, when he first developed heart failure and a myriad of other problems at the same time. I found that I just had to compartmentalize my day, e.g., do what I had to do at the time and not dwell on what the rest of the day might bring. If I thought about everything at once, I would cry and it would drive me crazy.

You can do this, of course, but it is hard. You just have to take each day, hour, minute and do what you can and then go on. You can't sweat the small stuff! The guys are going to have to pitch in and do some things for themselves. And some things are going to go undone - that is OK!

You have to take care of yourself too, or you will get sick. Trust me on this. You feel you don't have enough time for yourself and you don't - but you must try to take care of the things you need. If you don't you won't be able to take care of her.

It's so hard, but you will do a good job, I know you will. Come here anytime you get a chance - we are all worried about you and your mom!

[Janet]

Saturday morning, my SIL stopped to check on Mom. She saw some blood and feces on the kitchen floor that Mom hadn't cleaned up. Mom just told her she was going to get it, but was resting.

I went to Mom's around 4 PM. She was just hanging up the phone when I walked in. She had been calling me to come fix her supper because she was just too weak. I fixed her supper and then started doing the dishes. Mom said that she thought she needed to go to the bathroom but didn't know if she would be able to make it. I got her up and we headed to the bathroom. She totally lost control about 4 feet in front of the bathroom and by the time we actually got in there, there was a blood and feces everywhere. I got her to her bed and cleaned her up and got her to the ER again. She's still there. She's decided she really doesn't want to come to my house....and I'm really starting to agree. We are seeing about home health care and I am calling to set up a meeting for when Mom is dismissed from the hospital.

Her hemo was 11.3 on Monday and dropped to 9.3 on Saturday. They gave her two units of blood, did a CAT scan of her head from the fall she had on Thursday and then did an ultra sound on her neck (cartroid arteries?) to see if there was any blockage causing blackouts. The Drs. seem pretty determined to find the cause of the bleeding because the blood is still in her stool. I spent the night with her in the hospital so I would be able to speak with all the Drs. as they made their rounds. Got to talk to all except for the one I wanted to speak with the most...the GI dr. I did leave a note for her with some questions so hopefully she'll get in and answer them. I finally left at 4 because I was just too tired and sleepy to stay any longer.

I told Mom today that she needs to be more open because we are searching for the best home health care and if she didn't cooperate...then she was going to have to go to assisted living or nursing home. It was so hard to say that to her, but I realized I just don't think I could handle it all with Mom at my house. I want it to be okay, but I just don't think it would. She wants me to do everything for her and I just can't....I need some time for me.

Seems I'm writing a book lately when I am able to post. Please keep us in your prayers. Thank you for all your advice Gayle....I love you and you don't know how much your knowledge and experience is helping. Lynne....thanks for calling today...I really needed someone to talk to.

[gja1000]

Janet, you are right to not bring her to your house in this state - it is too much and she really needs some skilled nursing care. If you had a wonderfully supportive family at home that would take care of everything at your home, and you didn't have to work, then you might be able to handle it, but it would be very hard. I'm not sure home health will be enough right now. If they find the source of the bleeding, then yes, but now with what is happening, she needs pretty intense care.

[JJJ]

You're going through a very rough situation but only you know whats best for your mom. She needs professional assistance, someone who is train to handle her well being. I also used to work in a home health facility where they would send a nurse and aid to seniors homes. That might be ideal if she doesn't want to leave her home. They don't go every single day but a few day's out of the week might give you a break also.

[Gina]

Janet I am sorry that you and your mom are going through this.. I will keep you both in my prayers.. hugs to you.

[judy]

Janet,
You are at a rough spot with your Mom right now. It does not sound like she can be alone or at your house. I hope there is a wonderful facility where she will be taken care of 24/7, and be happy. You can visit her as often as you both need, but you will both feel safe.

You know I am praying for you both.

[Janet]

Still in hospital since Saturday. They just took her to have a flexible sigmoidoscopy done. I hope it's not too painful for her because they won't be putting her out for the procedure. I have a sub for the afternoon route. So I'll be here till this evening when my brothers will be here.

Road are snow packed and icy, but it still only takes about 30 minutes to get to the hospital. Not sure how much longer they'll keep her, but I do know.....I need a vacation really bad!!! More snow due this weekend I guess so I hope it's not much.

[paula1961]

How's your Mom doing Janet?

[Janet]

She's is home now Paula. She shouldn't be really, but I have people coming in to help and a service that delivers the noon meal every day. I'm beginning to believe that Mom really sees why she shouldn't be at home alone, but she is continuing to try.

[JJJ]

Originally Posted by Janet

She's is home now Paula. She shouldn't be really, but I have people coming in to help and a service that delivers the noon meal every day. I'm beginning to believe that Mom really sees why she shouldn't be at home alone, but she is continuing to try.

There's no place like home. I certainly hope she regains some strenght. I will send tons of positive energy her way.

[paula1961]

My thoughts and prayers are with you Janet! I feel what you are going through. I love you and I am sending many hugs to you!!

[Janet]

After sleeping much better last night she feels a bit better this morning. Her arthritic hip is hurting her pretty bad today, but on the 21st I take her to this arthritis/pain Dr. so I'm praying he can help her with that. She said it was all she could do to stand and fix her breakfast.

The home nurse should be coming today and tomorrow will start her Meals On Wheels visit.