Please Pray for my Mom

[lynne b]

I am afraid i may have lost my mom, she had back surgery on 8/14 and she has not been the same since. It started at the hospital, she became very aggitated and pulled all of her tubes out so they restrained her till i could be there with her to keep her calm, she went from the hospital to a rehab facility, 1st night there she hit one of the directors with a wet floor sign, so again i had to stay with her to keep her calm. Since then either me or one of my daughter's has had to stay with her several nights because she becomes very aggitated,confused or frightened. She has had very terrifying nightmares of her being killed or babies being killed or her being raped among other dreams of people having guns, i could go on but there is just too much that she has mentioned. We have tried a few different med's to help her sleep, the first 3 or 4 days she was there she didnt sleep at all, then finally got the dr. to give her something. Today the staff had a meeting and the therapist says he thinks she is as good as she is going to get as far as threapy goes, therefore she will no longer qualify to stay there, we will have to find someplace else for her to live, she can not live alone, i can not afford to quite my job, she has very good ins. till Jan1 and then i dont know what she will have, GM is dropping survieing spouses. I miss my mom so much, i have cried & cried i just dont know if i can deal with her being like this for the rest of her life,she's only 73. They have her on med's for delusions (sp), i have an app with her dr tommrrow i am going to see if we can send her to a place called Generations to have her detoixed and start from scratch on her meds and hopefully find out just how bad she is. I am sorry it seems i only post here when i have a problem but i do come here often and ready everyones post. I just want my mom back, i cant stop crying. Please pray for her to get better.
Thank You Lynne

[Janet]

Lynne, I feel so bad you're going through this. I know you said you were exhausted and so busy, that's why I haven't called, just emailed. I'm here whenever you have time even if it's for a minute or two if you want to call.

[DianaB]

Lynne, I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. It is so sad to see our parents go down hill and not know where to go for help. You might want to go and talk to a nursing home and see if they have some ideas that will help you. Sometimes there's help available if we were to only know where to find it. You probably need to have her sign some papers for guardianship so you can have a legal say in her care. I had to do that for my Dad. I'll be praying for you and your Mom.

[Janet]

Lynne and I are use to speaking with each other at least every other day and it's been almost 3 weeks I think since we've spoken. I am dealing with my mother although right now...thank God, not to the extent that Lynne is dealing with her mother. So finding time to talk has been a real problem. I do understand what she is going through though because of going through it with my MIL.

I miss talking to you too Lynne. I just don't know when a good time is to call. Wish there was something I could do to help you.

[lynne b]

thank you for your reply's. it was so good to finally get to talk with you Janet, i have missed that so much.

Diana, thank you also, i already have POA of mom, pluse have taken other steps to ensure that i can take care of mom, i pay her bills, i took her grocery shopping to the dr's but i am sure there will be something that we have missed preparing for this time.
Janet good luck with your mom tomorrow, i hope all goes well for her.
Lynne

[gja1000]

Taking her somewhere to get her off the meds may be just what she needs. Is she in the hospital? That is enough to put some people into a delirium - I think that is what she is experiencing. She should qualify, through Medicare, to stay 100 days in a rehab center (but maybe that is where she is located now, I'm not sure) or nursing home. There are some very good nursing homes that may be able to work with her to solve the delirium issues. If you do have to go the nursing home route, see if you can find one that has an advanced practice nurse (nurse practitioner) on staff. She/he won't be at the nursing home all day, everyday, but if the nursing home has one, he/she will make rounds every day or so. A nurse practitioner is very good at solving delirium issues. Often it is just medications combined with over stimulation, surgery, illness, and maybe some other physical problem. I think it can be solved and she can regain some all of her pre-surgery physical status.

I'm very sorry this has happened, but it is not uncommon in older people. What is uncommon is for it to not, at least partially or completely, resolve. Keep looking for answers, I think you will find them.

P.S. In looking back at your post, I see she is in rehab. So, now you need to look for a good nursing home (after the Generations detox) that will work with her to resolve this issue. Unless she has experienced a stroke, I think she can regain some/all function.

[DianaB]

Gayle, you always have good advice. Thanks so much for being a part of 4WT!!!! I've never told you that I appreciate you!

[gja1000]

Thank you Diana!!!

[lynne b]

thank you for the advice, yes she is in rehab for the back surgery, she qualified for 20 days therapy to be paid in full by medicare then she would pay half. they think she has gone as far as she can mentaly with the threapy because she is not comprehending what they want her to do so she no longer qualifies to stay there, and she can not go home alone. I am looking into Alzhimers (sp) & delirium facilities for her for after the Generations stay and she gets her meds straightened out. it's just so hard to see her this way, she is the one we all depended on for everything. Thanks again Lynne

Originally Posted by gja1000

Taking her somewhere to get her off the meds may be just what she needs. Is she in the hospital? That is enough to put some people into a delirium - I think that is what she is experiencing. She should qualify, through Medicare, to stay 100 days in a rehab center (but maybe that is where she is located now, I'm not sure) or nursing home. There are some very good nursing homes that may be able to work with her to solve the delirium issues. If you do have to go the nursing home route, see if you can find one that has an advanced practice nurse (nurse practitioner) on staff. She/he won't be at the nursing home all day, everyday, but if the nursing home has one, he/she will make rounds every day or so. A nurse practitioner is very good at solving delirium issues. Often it is just medications combined with over stimulation, surgery, illness, and maybe some other physical problem. I think it can be solved and she can regain some all of her pre-surgery physical status.

I'm very sorry this has happened, but it is not uncommon in older people. What is uncommon is for it to not, at least partially or completely, resolve. Keep looking for answers, I think you will find them.

P.S. In looking back at your post, I see she is in rehab. So, now you need to look for a good nursing home (after the Generations detox) that will work with her to resolve this issue. Unless she has experienced a stroke, I think she can regain some/all function.

[gja1000]

Originally Posted by lynne b

thank you for the advice, yes she is in rehab for the back surgery, she qualified for 20 days therapy to be paid in full by medicare then she would pay half. they think she has gone as far as she can mentaly with the threapy because she is not comprehending what they want her to do so she no longer qualifies to stay there, and she can not go home alone. I am looking into Alzhimers (sp) & delirium facilities for her for after the Generations stay and she gets her meds straightened out. it's just so hard to see her this way, she is the one we all depended on for everything. Thanks again Lynne

This isn't Alzheimer's disease, it doesn't come on this quickly. It is delirium which is a treatable medical condition - someone just hasn't yet figured out what is causing it.

[Janet]

Gayle, I'm so glad you're on this forum. You contribute in so many ways and like Diana said we have never let you know how much we appreciate you.

[gja1000]

Many thanks! I'm glad to help - it is true nurses are always looking for something/someone to help. If I become overly or too "helpful" just tell me!

[Janet]

Can never happen my friend!!