Soooo, I need some advice.......

[SweetCuteness]

Here's my dilemma. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. I moved down here to Arizona from Oregon to be with him, and ended up moving in with him - so obviously it's really serious (I know, some may say it was too soon to move in, but it didn't feel rushed to us). My boyfriend is Jewish. I'm not Jewish... not in any way... I've got blonde hair, blue eyes, and was raised Christian. However, if you don't know, most Jewish parents would prefer that their son/daughter marry a Jew. I'm also taking a Judaic Studies class at UofA so I can learn more about the religion. My professor brought this topic up tonight. So, when I got home, I asked Peter if his parents always wanted him to marry a Jewish girl. He said yes.

I'm already not 100% comfortable around them. I've never had a problem meeting parents until his parents. Don't get me wrong, they're super nice people and I adore them, it's just... I don't want to do or say anything to make them think poorly of me because I think Peter is "the one." I was just starting to really be a lot more comfortable around them. So now, I find this out, and it makes me feel like I'm going to go back in my shell again.

AND, to add fuel to the fire, I have a tattoo of a Playboy Bunny on my lower back. It was a dumb thing I did when I was 18 and regret it. I've been going to try to have it removed, but the first thing I tried didn't work. So last night they came to Petsmart after my puppy's training class. Apparently I bent over to pick up Ferdinand (my pup) and they saw the tattoo. They already knew I had it, but I don't think they knew what it was. So Peter told me tonight also that they saw it.

So I'm sitting here thinking great, now I'm REALLY going to be uncomfortable around them! It just sucks. I hate feeling this way but it's really, really bothering me. I should be in bed sleeping right now but this is all I can think about.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm not good enough for him. Has anyone ever felt that way? Wow, I'm being really overemotional right now - I guess it is that time of the month for me.

Sorry for rambling on and on. Guess maybe I just needed to get it out of my system

[Lindsey]

Sometimes it just really doesn't matter what the parents think. You love him and he loves you right? If it was so important to HIM to marry a Jewish girl, do you think he would have gotten so serious with you? If you're in love, and you make their son happy, his parents should accept you for who you are.

[magnolia]

I agree with Lindsey - if HE wanted to marry a Jewish girl, that would be the girl he'd be looking for. I can't imagine any parent not being happy with the choice their child makes - afterall, it's their life, not their parents. I have 2 boys of my own and all I want is their happiness when the time comes they find the girl God put on this earth for them. You are obviously interested in the Jewish beliefs or you wouldn't have signed up for a class - not saying you will convert to Judaism, just that you're trying to understand a different level with your boyfriend and that's a good thing The best thing you can do is follow your heart and right now, it's obvious you love him and you ARE following your heart. Keep being true to yourself - that's what he fell in love with you over in the first place!

Originally Posted by SweetCuteness

Here's my dilemma. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. I moved down here to Arizona from Oregon to be with him, and ended up moving in with him - so obviously it's really serious (I know, some may say it was too soon to move in, but it didn't feel rushed to us). My boyfriend is Jewish. I'm not Jewish... not in any way... I've got blonde hair, blue eyes, and was raised Christian. However, if you don't know, most Jewish parents would prefer that their son/daughter marry a Jew. I'm also taking a Judaic Studies class at UofA so I can learn more about the religion. My professor brought this topic up tonight. So, when I got home, I asked Peter if his parents always wanted him to marry a Jewish girl. He said yes.

I'm already not 100% comfortable around them. I've never had a problem meeting parents until his parents. Don't get me wrong, they're super nice people and I adore them, it's just... I don't want to do or say anything to make them think poorly of me because I think Peter is "the one." I was just starting to really be a lot more comfortable around them. So now, I find this out, and it makes me feel like I'm going to go back in my shell again.

AND, to add fuel to the fire, I have a tattoo of a Playboy Bunny on my lower back. It was a dumb thing I did when I was 18 and regret it. I've been going to try to have it removed, but the first thing I tried didn't work. So last night they came to Petsmart after my puppy's training class. Apparently I bent over to pick up Ferdinand (my pup) and they saw the tattoo. They already knew I had it, but I don't think they knew what it was. So Peter told me tonight also that they saw it.

So I'm sitting here thinking great, now I'm REALLY going to be uncomfortable around them! It just sucks. I hate feeling this way but it's really, really bothering me. I should be in bed sleeping right now but this is all I can think about.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm not good enough for him. Has anyone ever felt that way? Wow, I'm being really overemotional right now - I guess it is that time of the month for me.

Sorry for rambling on and on. Guess maybe I just needed to get it out of my system

i agree with the others on here, he picked you, its you he loves and thats all that matters. you are willing to learn about being jewish which a lot of women wouldnt bother doing so they should think them selfs lucky that there son has found someone willing to do that.

[rivermom]

Do you like yourself? Of course you do, then don't even worry about what his parents think. Don't apologize for a tatoo on your lower back, that is very minor.

You know in your heart how you care for your bf. It only matters that you love him, he loves you. His parents are secondary. Dear, welcome to the world of "in-laws". No matter what you do or how hard you try to make them like you, they themselves will still make their own opinion. Just be yourself. Always...Just be yourself.

[Gina]

First I like to say is even though I am not jewish, I have lived in a mixed neighborhood growing . Apparently he is not religious for if he were he would not be dating you at all. Reglious jews do not marry outside of their religion. He is probably conservative. His parents probably do perfer him to marry within the religion. When a jewish person marries someone outside of their religion, they always raise the children according to the mothers religion. Regardless.

Just be yourself and if they don't like you thats their problem. They can't judge you by a tatoo. My son's girlfriend has them all over her body , and I never made her feel bad about them. She is the sweetest girl and when your younger , we all do stupid things.It is nice of you to take classes in Judism, are you doing it to learn his religion or are you planning to convert? Remember one thing if you are doing it just to please him that his wrong to, for you have a family and you probably would hurt them. Unless of course you don't practice your faith. I know people who have married and have kept their own religion and it has worked. They celebrate both holidays etc....

Good luck to you!

[Janet]

Originally Posted by Gina

First I like to say is even though I am not jewish, I have lived in a mixed neighborhood growing . Apparently he is not religious for if he were he would not be dating you at all. Reglious jews do not marry outside of their religion. He is probably conservative. His parents probably do perfer him to marry within the religion. When a jewish person marries someone outside of their religion, they always raise the children according to the mothers religion. Regardless.

Just be yourself and if they don't like you thats their problem. They can't judge you by a tatoo. My son's girlfriend has them all over her body , and I never made her feel bad about them. She is the sweetest girl and when your younger , we all do stupid things.It is nice of you to take classes in Judism, are you doing it to learn his religion or are you planning to convert? Remember one thing if you are doing it just to please him that his wrong to, for you have a family and you probably would hurt them. Unless of course you don't practice your faith. I know people who have married and have kept their own religion and it has worked. They celebrate both holidays etc....

Good luck to you!

Excellent advice...I think! Nothing wrong with sharing two religions and when a family does come along, they can decide when they are older.