Stay at Home Mom

[AngieDoogles]

More advice needed!

Aiden is 7 months old now and it has been a BLAST being a stay at home mom. I am SO lucky that we were able to work it out for me to be home with him all the time (except when I meet a client for my business - and I control when and how much I am willing to do for that). However, I've been vaguely looking at social work positions so that if a super awesome, flexible kind of job came up, I could apply. Well, I happened to run into an acquaintance recently who is director of human services for a pretty large non-profit that aids homeless families with children in my area. When she found out that I have a master's in social work, she was very interested in having me apply for her position that she needs to fill before retiring. She's basically told me that I've got the job if I want it. The job itself seems super fulfilling without all of the stress, bureaucracy, and red tape that is so frustrating with most social services jobs. It pays great with incredibly flexible hours and I'd be supervising case managers with bachelor's degrees as well as master degree interns from the university. It would be great experience for when I apply to a doctorate program (which is necessary to be a professor...my ultimate goal).

The only problem of course, is that I'd have to leave Aiden two days a week. I have a friend willing to watch him in our home one day each week, but I'm not sure what we're going to do for the other day. And it will BREAK MY HEART to leave him after being home with him for so long.

So here are my questions: Did you chose to stay at home or work? Would you do it differently if you could? If you worked out of the home, do you have any tips/advice for making that any easier? Would I be stupid to turn down such a great opportunity? Would I be stupid to take a job and miss out on time with Aiden?

This is one of the toughest decisions I've ever had to make.

[gja1000]

Hi Angie! It is a hard decision, but you'll make the right one. I job shared when my daughter was 3 months old. I worked two days one week and 3 the next. I loved getting out of the house and back to my profession (nursing). I had a babysitter who lived across the street from me, so it was really convenient. I wouldn't have done anything differently, it worked perfectly for me. When she was about 18 months old, I started my teaching career. It was full-time, but very very flexible so I could be home with her anytime she was sick or needed me. I could also work from home some days too. It was great.

My advice is to follow your heart, and that is about more than Aiden. It sounds like a great opportunity to do some really important things for kids/families that really need help. That is very important. And it is important to use your education for the benefit of others. You have spent quality time with Aiden these past few months, and I think it would be fine to leave him 2 days a week. In a couple of years he will need to go to preschool a couple of days a week to learn to play with other kids. So, why not start now with this great job. But you have to be comfortable with it. It will be really hard the first few times, but then it becomes easier. He will be fine and you will be fine too.

The other thing to consider is your new home. There are bound to be expenses that you didn't think about and you having some income will help defuse the stress of being completely responsible for everything in the house. Being a new home, there won't be as many expenses as there will be later - but there will be things that you will want and a job will help with that.

You are such a thoughtful person, you will carefully consider the pros and cons and you will do what is right for you! Good luck!

[AngieDoogles]

Thanks Gayle! That is great advice. Luckily, I have a few months to decide since they don't need to hire until January. I didn't want to start until after the holidays and house buying process is over so the timing is perfect and it gives me a while to really think things through.

I'm wondering about putting him in a daycare program one day a week. It would give him social interaction with other babies his age and would help him get used to being away from mommy and daddy a little. I just worry cause you can never really know how attentive the caregivers will be and I don't want him to be stressed or sad.

[DianaB]

Why don't you ask around and see if you can find someone else to help babysit for a day? You'll want to have a back up sitter anyway.

I've mostly been a stay-at-home Mom. My husband was very insistant on it and I've loved being home with the kids and grandkids. I always figured that I'd go to work sometime but I've watched grandkids.

Money wise......we've done without. We haven't driven the newest cars or lived in some of the best houses or taken expensive vacations but I wouldn't trade those for the time with my kids.

I have worked a little......enough to show that I'm a good worker......at an abstract office and at another place doing computer work.....in case I ever needed to find a job I have a little experience under my belt.

Personally I think that it sounds perfect........you'll be able to work in your field and gain experience and only be away from the baby for a couple of days a week!! It doesn't get much better than that!!!

[judy]

I do believe in staying home until your child is about three, but 2 days/week is not a full-time job at all. Working full time means having to shop, clean, do laundry, etc., etc. as well as spending quality time with Aiden and with Brenden. Two days/week is very different!

I worked 2 days/week when Jessie was about a year old. I needed some time to be myself, use my brains, talk to adults, and feel some freedom. I was a single parent at the time. The money helped a lot too! I found a wonderful little day care center near home, and Jessie loved it there. She got to play, and got used to different adults caring for her. My father picked her up and I would meet them at my house.

Follow your heart!

[JJJ]

As much as I love my boys I needed and still need to get away even if it's to go to work. I think things are falling perfectly in line and this is a great job opportunity.

You can't lose either way.