Caution contain's adult situation!!

[lynne b]

I could have put this in a couple different section's (vent, parenting & family, ask a man ect.) but decided to use this one. And I hope this desent offend anyone but I am really struggling here .

My question is?

#1. Is it rape if you say NO?
#2. Is it rape if you are married to the offender?
#3. Is it rape if the offender hold's a weapon to you?


I want to aplogize if this is to graphic for a site like this and admin. if you feel this is an off topic please feel free to delet this I will understand.
Thank you in advance for you view's and comment's , this is by no mean's meant to cause any trouble. It's is a very personal problem I am going through right now.
Thank you Lynne

ok sorry I didnt acutually do this the right way, I have never done a poll before.

[Janet]

The answers to your three questions.....YES!!! YES!!! YES!!!

Whoever does something like this needs to be hung by his "you know what"with a choker chain.

[Ponyup]

I agree, if a women says no it's rape, no questions asked. And no one ever should force someone to do anything with a weapon no matter what. I guess unless you're into that. There are some people that are into S & M, but they usually have a safety word if things get too intense. From your limited information though, I'm going to guess this wasn't the case.

Please be safe & get help if you need it.

[Marilyn]

Yes to all three. Forced sex by whomever is rape.

You need to seek safety and counseling as soon as possible if this is about you. Don't waste another minute.

[lynne b]

For your reply's and comment's. I am sorry the damage has already been done, not to me but to my daughter by her husband. Thing's have not been good for them for the last few year's and they were getting worse as the year's went by but she was trying to do the right thing by standing by him and trying to get him the help he need's. He is addicted to script drug's and lost a very good paying job 2 yr's ago for stealing to support his habit, they lost their home, car's and are in so far in debt that I could no way help them enough finacially to make a difference.
He is in jail still but his parent's are trying to scrape up the bail for him to get out. I am so dreading that day. The whole situation has been placed in the states hands so he will defianatly be doing some time, not only for this but for the previous theft charges as well. One of my main problem's is my daughter is feeling so guilty about taking her daughter's father away from them and it dosent matter what I say I cant make her see that it was not her fault. I know it will take time and she is finally going to talk with someone tomorrow (counsler) and I hope them can get her to see this. It just breaks my heart that I cant do anything to make this all go away for her , I just want my little girl back . I think I will be seeking some counseling before this is all done.
Thank's for just letting me get this off my chest. And Janet I know you are there for me and you have heard this from the begining but I can not thank you enough.
Gotta love ya girl.
Lynne

[DianaB]

{{{{{{Lynne}}}}}} I'm so sorry that your daughter is going through this and it must have been very difficult to know that she was having problems in her marriage. Counseling sounds like a really good idea. I'll be keeping your family in my prayers.

[judy]

Dear Lynne,

I'm so sorry this is happening. My prayers are going out for you, your daughter and your granddaughter.

Counseling is a great first step for your daughter. You might feel better if you did go talk to someone too. It's an awful lot for a mother to handle. I went through very difficult times with my daughter and her husband for several years, so my heart goes out to you.

On a good note, we've reconciled after about 3 years. He has stopped drinking and has stopped a lot of his bad behaviors. Good things can happen.

Love and prayers,

Judy

[Tink]

My prayers are with you both Lynne
What a horrible thing to have to deal with.
HUGS

[Gina]

My prayers and thoughts are with you and your girls also. Please get some help yourself this is terrible. But do remember there is light at the end of the tunnel.. God will guide you all through this.

[lynne b]

Thank you everyone for thought's and pray's. I was having a really hard time yesterday, as was my daughter. She finally has an app. today to talk with someone who deals with this sort of thing. I and other family member's have talked till we are blue in the face but she really need's someone other than a family member to help her deal with her feeling. She has such guilt feeling of taking her daughter's father away from them. This is just a messed up situation.
Thank's again for your thought's and prayer's.
Lynne

[Janet]

I wish your daughter could see this for what it is. He is not a good example of a father or husband. Girls look to their fathers to find qualities in a husband/partner...this has been proven in pyshcological studies for years. They also imulate (sp) their same sex parent. So she would be setting a high standard for her girls to not ever let anyone...no matter who it is...to treat them this way. This is not love.

I hope she understands this soon Lynne. She's doing the right thing. His parents must be as crazy as he is to try and get him out. What a group! And don't forget Lynne, just because you can't give her money to get out of dept....you're giving her much more by being there for her.

[Marilyn]

Just wanted to say I agree with everything that Janet and others have said and will definitely keep you in my prayers. Sincerely hoping that this is all resolved to the best possible solution for all concerned. Lynne, so realize that you are being an amazing mom to her.

[Janet]

Since I didn't get to talk with you yesteday, Lynne, I hope things are somewhat better today. I'm here whenever you need me.

[katcarasella]

YES, YES, and YES!!!! NO MEANS NO!

[pope1982]

#1. absolutely
#2. absolutely
#3. without a doubt