can't stop crying :(

[toodles]

i guess i am just being hormonal or something...but I can't stop crying. I was at lunch with my investor, my husband, my best friend (also my bookkeeper) and her bf (he does our remodeling). we were talking about building a new office, etc. and my investor was trying to get a feel for what we needed. He asked my bff "so, are you in this long term?"

a very innocent question...and an understandable one when planning to build an office building. she hesitated. which is understandable,...her job has been very stressful lately. she finally said "It depends"...i thought she said that because she didn't want to commit to the job. but she completely threw me for a loop with when Gary said "depends on what??". her answer killed me. she said "it depends on if I am still around"

OMG...I am totally caught off guard here. I said "what do you mean??? where do you think you are going??!!?!?!"

now...understand...she is about to be engaged to one of our mutual VERY good friends...they are totally head over heals in love and are talking about getting married in May. i love it. i am so happy for her.

well, Sean (her soon-to-be fiance) said "well, we were thinking....we might move to South Carolina"



NOOOOOOOOOO. what?????????? I am floored at this point. I said "and when do you think this might happen?" and they said "2 or 3 years"

you might think that is a long time...but it's not. and I know both of them and those 2 or 3 years will turn into 1 year...then 6 months. they both live sporadically and will just drop everything and move on a whim...so I don't expect them to actually take 2-3 years.

I am so sad about this. I immediately looked at my watch and said "I need to go get my daughter" and got up from the table and left. I could have stayed another 20 minutes...but it sounded like a good excuse to leave. as soon as I was out of their sight, i started bawling. she is more than just my best friend...she is a sister to me. she has healed me in so many way...has been there for me through SOOOOOOOOOO much. and suddenly she starts dating Sean and they are going to run off to another state. now, you can tell me that we can still be friends...and we would...but it would be different. very very different. and it would be hard. i don't have any of the friends i used to have....once they moved away, we slowly stopped communicating. not for lack of trying on my part either.

i'm just scared...sad...and very hurt that I found out this way. why did it have to come out like that???? why hasn't she talked to me about this?

i can't stop crying. i'm a mess. My marriage is falling apart and my best friend is talking about moving away...I GIVE UP. what is the point in getting close to people?

I just can't handle this.

[2tiredmom]

Maybe you should try talking to your friend to find out whats going on.
I moved away 5 years ago from what I thought were my best friends.
Needless to say they don't call me. Except one very special one. And her mom has cancer right now and they don't expect her to make it another 3 weeks.
Her bf is in the hospital. But she was there for me when my mom died a year and a half ago. We have a special bond that when anything major happens we are there for each other. I love her like a sister.
You never know this may make your friendship stronger. If it was meant to be it will turn out for the best. I wish you all the best. I know how hard it is to be on the losing end. You feel like your all alone in the world. You want the world to stop but it just keeps going. But if I were you talk to your friend. She could feel the same way. You won't know till you talk to her. Your in my thoughts and prayers.

[AngieDoogles]

Mandee, I'm so sorry. I remember when my "best friend" moved away (I cried too so you aren't alone in that). You're right, it probably won't be exactly the same, but you'll make new friends and hopefully remain in contact with your friend who has moved. Even though it won't be the same as it is now, you never know, it could actually be better... Life can be surprising like that...

[Mandy]

I am sorry your friend "surprised" you like that, yes she should have told you about her plans since she is your best friend, imo, best friends do share everything, specially when she is involved in your business.
I agree, it's not the same when one moves, but you will meet other people, and make new friends. When one door closes, a new one opens.

[Janet]

Mandee, I know how you are feeling only my best friend didn't move. As a matter of fact, she lives less than 5 miles from me. She just became a recluse except for her family. I miss her so much and I need her more than she'll ever know. My marriage sucks too and now mom is in failing health. I have other friends now and you'll be able to do that to.

[judy]

Two out of my 3 best friends are moving, we just shut down our Women's Center,
and being retired you do lose a lot of peole you thought were friends. It's very hard, but good friendships know no distance.

My dearest friend is my Aunt. I can't even keep track of this wonderful 85 year old woman. Sometimes she's in Florida, sometimes Maryland, sometimes upstate NY.
She's always in my heart though and I'm always in hers. When something happens in one of our lives, the other will know and there's always a phone call.

I hope this is what ends up happening with your friend.