Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

toodles · 10-24-2007, 04:00 AM

so, i am watching my bff's boxer. she was supposed to be home tonight. i was EXPECTING her home tonight for a few reasons....first...to get her dog. it is very hard having Chloe here because she is so big, and all puppy...she is clobbering my other dog..and my daughter. not to be mean, just playing..but it scares me!!! plus, it is raining like mad here and she tracks mud all over the carpet. it is hard to get her to stop at the door to wipe her feet because she is so strong and hyper at the same time. second, i am expecting her back because she works for me and i really need her at work.

this afternoon she told me that they would not be in until 2am. and that she would miss our weekly meeting because of it...she would be sleeping in (understandable). i just sent her a text to let her know where her mail is and to ask if the ETA was still 2am. she wrote me back "We will not be there until tomorrow. We are staying at Sean's bother's house tonight. I will make it in until the afternoon. "

it just frustrates me. why is she just now telling me this? i am so tired of people not being reliable. when she watches our dogs, we are sure to call her every step of the way home to let her know when we will be there. and i feel horrible if traffic or something makes us run late.

his brother lives in Maryland,...so she is not even close to being home. and knowing her boyfriend (Sean)...he runs late everywhere he goes and he sleeps in late all the time. so they probably won't leave until around noon...which will put them here tomorrow night,.

just seems irresponsible and rude to me. they never would have told me of the delay had i not sent the message asking them about their ETA.

sorry so long...and maybe confusing......just needed to vent

rivermom · 10-24-2007, 04:49 AM

Hopefully your friends will have a safe drive back home. It is frustrating when our expectations at times are not met. Possibly give it a few days after she's back, her dog is back in her house, you've had time to think things over and the two of you can talk.

Maybe the two of you watching over each ones pets isn't the best in the future. There are really great boarding facilities these days who can pamper our pets. This way your friendship or employee/employer relationship isn't placed into a hard situation.

Hope it all works out.

Janet · 10-24-2007, 06:15 AM

Sheryl's right. I would probably make other arrangements for dog sitting. It is very upsetting when you feel you're being taken advantage of, by people not showing up on time or even bothering to let you know.

katepoet · 10-24-2007, 07:23 AM

If your friends aren't reliable maybe you are not picking the right friends for you. Plus, if you are such a responsible friend, you may be overdoing your part - or you need to find friends more like you. I always find dropping a friend hard to do, but it makes room in your life for new people. If I wait for awhile, without new or old friends, then I am more ready to connect with new people who are healthier for me.

Did you offer to take the dog? I find I have to bite my tongue a lot as my tendency to want to help can put me over my limit in what I can handle pretty quickly. There's nothing like doing too much for someone to ruin a friendship of any kind. It puts things out of balance, tips the scale too far and I can end up resentful.

Mandy · 10-24-2007, 11:24 AM

That sure is frustrating, next time you can tell her to look for a good boarding facility, and take her dog there. It's not good if your friend is taking advantage of you that way, the least she could have done, was let YOU know they would be late, it's not your duty to run after her, you are doing her the favor here.

DianaB · 10-24-2007, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mandy

That sure is frustrating, next time you can tell her to look for a good boarding facility, and take her dog there. It's not good if your friend is taking advantage of you that way, the least she could have done, was let YOU know they would be late, it's not your duty to run after her, you are doing her the favor here.

I agree. Also, I would find someone else to watch your dog so you don't feel that you have to watch hers. She definitely took advantage of you!

Marilyn · 10-25-2007, 04:01 AM

Sounds to me like she is young and her boyfriend is perhaps the irresponsible one. She may be urging him to be home on time, and he's the one causing the delays. She may be reluctant to contact you because she's embarassed and she may be hoping her bf will get it together and she won't be that late afterall. Sounds like her 2 am estimate was hopeful thinking.

Be careful of boarding facilities. We've not had good luck with them, even the ones that look clean and responsible. Our trip to Europe cost us another approx. $800 in vet bills when we got home and had 3 sick dogs to contend with. Not to mention the extra work caused by their illnesses and the emotional fustration and fears for their health. This is the third time they have come home sick from different facilities.

Next time, we may try to find a friend who can help us and avoid boarding. The benefits of not putting your pets in a boarding situation may outweigh the inconveniences you are dealing with now.

Hope they get home soon!!!

AngieDoogles · 10-26-2007, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn

Sounds to me like she is young and her boyfriend is perhaps the irresponsible one. She may be urging him to be home on time, and he's the one causing the delays. She may be reluctant to contact you because she's embarassed and she may be hoping her bf will get it together and she won't be that late afterall. Sounds like her 2 am estimate was hopeful thinking.

Be careful of boarding facilities. We've not had good luck with them, even the ones that look clean and responsible. Our trip to Europe cost us another approx. $800 in vet bills when we got home and had 3 sick dogs to contend with. Not to mention the extra work caused by their illnesses and the emotional fustration and fears for their health. This is the third time they have come home sick from different facilities.

Next time, we may try to find a friend who can help us and avoid boarding. The benefits of not putting your pets in a boarding situation may outweigh the inconveniences you are dealing with now.

Hope they get home soon!!!

I agree with Marilyn. It could definitely be the boyfriend causing the problems, especially if you've never had this kind of thing happen before in your friendship. Is there anyone else who could take care of your dog if you have to go out of town? Sounds like a boarding facility might not be a good option either, but if you had another friend or relative care for your dog, your friendship with this person might be less strained. Good luck!

judy · 10-26-2007, 05:52 PM

It is a rough one - because you may have to board your dogs, but I agree with Sheryl.

Whenever I find myself resenting somebody's actions, I don't do whatever it is anymore. The trick is to do it as nicely as possible if you want to maintain the friendship, and because she works for you.

I hope she comes back soon!

toodles · 10-29-2007, 05:38 AM

well, she came back the next day and yeah, i have talked to her a bit. not about everything. but just about her attitude in general. she's been a bit of a "b" lately and it is really starting to get to me. it's like she isn't thinking about what she says before it spills out. DH thinks it is because she is frustrated with her BF because he is always late, kinda lazy, and is taking a very long time to propose. we all thought it would have happened by now. he has the ring (she does not know this) but he just hasn't done it. they kept talking about getting married in May and she knows time is counting down and she is getting frustrated about it. i told her it gives her no right to treat us all like crap. she said she didn't mean to...so I read some of the emails she has sent to my husband back to her. i asked her how she would feel if i sent her or her BF an email like that. she didn't say much. she just said she is stressed. well...that's no excuse and i told her.

she says she is stressed about work. i told her that she will continue to be stressed until she talks about what is bothering her and give people fair chance to make it right. holding it in will just make her life hell and ruin her friendships...with me as well as others.

we have always had a WONDERFUL friendship...with little to no bumps in the road. so this is kinda catching me off guard. but we will be fine. still some more talking to do but we will get it all out and be ok

I love her more than any friend i have ever known...we will fix this

AngieDoogles · 10-29-2007, 06:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by toodles

we have always had a WONDERFUL friendship...with little to no bumps in the road. so this is kinda catching me off guard. but we will be fine. still some more talking to do but we will get it all out and be ok

I love her more than any friend i have ever known...we will fix this

Sounds like you're going about this in just the right way. A friendship, especially a good one, is too important to just give up over something small.

judy · 10-29-2007, 08:35 AM

I read a beautiful line in one of Wally Lamb's books, "Never give away love."

Keep trying and just do your best.

Good luck and I really hope it works out well.

katepoet · 10-29-2007, 09:12 AM

Sounds like you are taking the risk and putting it out there - how brave! Sometimes friends do have to be confronted with the truth in order for them to get it together. I haven't done that in a long time - it seems as we all get older we are less likely to consider changing when a friend hits us upside the head - but it sounds like you have a good chance of her coming back to you with her truth.

DianaB · 10-29-2007, 09:26 AM

I'm glad that you had a little talk with her. If she's a friend that you want to keep you have to keep hard feelings from ruining your friendship. It sounds like she could definitely use a friend right now so I'm glad that you're there for her. Keep up the good work!

10-24-2007, 04:00 AM	#1
toodles Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Nashville, Tn Posts: 243	Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so, i am watching my bff's boxer. she was supposed to be home tonight. i was EXPECTING her home tonight for a few reasons....first...to get her dog. it is very hard having Chloe here because she is so big, and all puppy...she is clobbering my other dog..and my daughter. not to be mean, just playing..but it scares me!!! plus, it is raining like mad here and she tracks mud all over the carpet. it is hard to get her to stop at the door to wipe her feet because she is so strong and hyper at the same time. second, i am expecting her back because she works for me and i really need her at work. this afternoon she told me that they would not be in until 2am. and that she would miss our weekly meeting because of it...she would be sleeping in (understandable). i just sent her a text to let her know where her mail is and to ask if the ETA was still 2am. she wrote me back "We will not be there until tomorrow. We are staying at Sean's bother's house tonight. I will make it in until the afternoon. " it just frustrates me. why is she just now telling me this? i am so tired of people not being reliable. when she watches our dogs, we are sure to call her every step of the way home to let her know when we will be there. and i feel horrible if traffic or something makes us run late. his brother lives in Maryland,...so she is not even close to being home. and knowing her boyfriend (Sean)...he runs late everywhere he goes and he sleeps in late all the time. so they probably won't leave until around noon...which will put them here tomorrow night,. just seems irresponsible and rude to me. they never would have told me of the delay had i not sent the message asking them about their ETA. sorry so long...and maybe confusing......just needed to vent __________________ Give me coffee & I'll be your buddy 4ever "Toodles" Mandee...AKA-Pepe Mint on YT

10-24-2007, 04:49 AM	#2
rivermom Donating 4WT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Tontitown, Arkansas Posts: 2,475	Hopefully your friends will have a safe drive back home. It is frustrating when our expectations at times are not met. Possibly give it a few days after she's back, her dog is back in her house, you've had time to think things over and the two of you can talk. Maybe the two of you watching over each ones pets isn't the best in the future. There are really great boarding facilities these days who can pamper our pets. This way your friendship or employee/employer relationship isn't placed into a hard situation. Hope it all works out. __________________ ~_/> , /\/\ ,,, Sheryl When I grow up I want to be a horse whisperer!

10-24-2007, 06:15 AM	#3
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,624	Sheryl's right. I would probably make other arrangements for dog sitting. It is very upsetting when you feel you're being taken advantage of, by people not showing up on time or even bothering to let you know. __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

10-24-2007, 11:24 AM	#5
Mandy Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Who cares! Posts: 4,587	That sure is frustrating, next time you can tell her to look for a good boarding facility, and take her dog there. It's not good if your friend is taking advantage of you that way, the least she could have done, was let YOU know they would be late, it's not your duty to run after her, you are doing her the favor here. __________________ Many people will walk in and out your life, but only true friends leave footprints!

10-25-2007, 04:01 AM	#7
Marilyn Donating 4WT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: South Texas Posts: 4,907	Sounds to me like she is young and her boyfriend is perhaps the irresponsible one. She may be urging him to be home on time, and he's the one causing the delays. She may be reluctant to contact you because she's embarassed and she may be hoping her bf will get it together and she won't be that late afterall. Sounds like her 2 am estimate was hopeful thinking. Be careful of boarding facilities. We've not had good luck with them, even the ones that look clean and responsible. Our trip to Europe cost us another approx. $800 in vet bills when we got home and had 3 sick dogs to contend with. Not to mention the extra work caused by their illnesses and the emotional fustration and fears for their health. This is the third time they have come home sick from different facilities. Next time, we may try to find a friend who can help us and avoid boarding. The benefits of not putting your pets in a boarding situation may outweigh the inconveniences you are dealing with now. Hope they get home soon!!! __________________ Marilyn If anyone would like a free Bible Study CD or book entitled "Searching for Truth", PM me with your mailing address and I'll send you one. "And you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." John 8:32

10-24-2007, 07:23 AM	#4
katepoet Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 992	If your friends aren't reliable maybe you are not picking the right friends for you. Plus, if you are such a responsible friend, you may be overdoing your part - or you need to find friends more like you. I always find dropping a friend hard to do, but it makes room in your life for new people. If I wait for awhile, without new or old friends, then I am more ready to connect with new people who are healthier for me. Did you offer to take the dog? I find I have to bite my tongue a lot as my tendency to want to help can put me over my limit in what I can handle pretty quickly. There's nothing like doing too much for someone to ruin a friendship of any kind. It puts things out of balance, tips the scale too far and I can end up resentful.

10-26-2007, 05:52 PM	#9
judy Donating 4WT Yakker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Denver, NY Posts: 8,097	It is a rough one - because you may have to board your dogs, but I agree with Sheryl. Whenever I find myself resenting somebody's actions, I don't do whatever it is anymore. The trick is to do it as nicely as possible if you want to maintain the friendship, and because she works for you. I hope she comes back soon! __________________ *Judy*

10-29-2007, 05:38 AM	#10
toodles Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Nashville, Tn Posts: 243	well, she came back the next day and yeah, i have talked to her a bit. not about everything. but just about her attitude in general. she's been a bit of a "b" lately and it is really starting to get to me. it's like she isn't thinking about what she says before it spills out. DH thinks it is because she is frustrated with her BF because he is always late, kinda lazy, and is taking a very long time to propose. we all thought it would have happened by now. he has the ring (she does not know this) but he just hasn't done it. they kept talking about getting married in May and she knows time is counting down and she is getting frustrated about it. i told her it gives her no right to treat us all like crap. she said she didn't mean to...so I read some of the emails she has sent to my husband back to her. i asked her how she would feel if i sent her or her BF an email like that. she didn't say much. she just said she is stressed. well...that's no excuse and i told her. she says she is stressed about work. i told her that she will continue to be stressed until she talks about what is bothering her and give people fair chance to make it right. holding it in will just make her life hell and ruin her friendships...with me as well as others. we have always had a WONDERFUL friendship...with little to no bumps in the road. so this is kinda catching me off guard. but we will be fine. still some more talking to do but we will get it all out and be ok I love her more than any friend i have ever known...we will fix this __________________ Give me coffee & I'll be your buddy 4ever "Toodles" Mandee...AKA-Pepe Mint on YT

10-29-2007, 08:35 AM	#12
judy Donating 4WT Yakker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Denver, NY Posts: 8,097	I read a beautiful line in one of Wally Lamb's books, "Never give away love." Keep trying and just do your best. Good luck and I really hope it works out well. __________________ *Judy*

10-29-2007, 09:12 AM	#13
katepoet Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 992	Sounds like you are taking the risk and putting it out there - how brave! Sometimes friends do have to be confronted with the truth in order for them to get it together. I haven't done that in a long time - it seems as we all get older we are less likely to consider changing when a friend hits us upside the head - but it sounds like you have a good chance of her coming back to you with her truth.

10-29-2007, 09:26 AM	#14
DianaB Moderator Donating 4WT 13K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Kansas Posts: 16,069	I'm glad that you had a little talk with her. If she's a friend that you want to keep you have to keep hard feelings from ruining your friendship. It sounds like she could definitely use a friend right now so I'm glad that you're there for her. Keep up the good work! __________________ ´¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Diana Baker ✞ You and I are friends....... Always remember that if you fall I will pick you up...... After I stop laughing!!!

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