Baptism vs. Anniversary

[Lindsey]

Last week, Scott's sister called us and asked if we would be Godparents to her new baby girl. We said of course! She said they wanted to do it this summer, and asked which weekends we are free. Scott told her that we don't have any major plans to do anything all summer.

So on Saturday, she texted him and said "We are doing the baptism July 7th. Does that work?" Scott said "Oh... on our first anniversary???" and she said "Yup, it can be your anniversary present if it works for you guys" He told me about it and I wasn't exactly thrilled.... I mean it wouldn't be an issue at all if it were here and it didn't really disrupt the day, but it is almost 3 hours away, and we have to be there the night before for rehearsal, which means basically we are spending our whole weekend hanging out with his parents (staying at their place) and his sisters and their families. Not exactly how we wanted to spend our first anniversary.

Scott told her we discussed it and would rather do ANY other weekend. She said no, sorry, that's the only weekend they can be there. They want to do it before the end of July (I don't know why), and her husband works two weekends, and has one weekend off in rotation. And when he has a week off, they are planning to head to the coast for holidays, so they can't do it then. July 7th is the ONLY day that works for them.

She doesn't see why it's an issue becuase Scott didn't mention our anniversary weekend as a weekend we couldn't do it. So maybe it's our fault then. His sister called his mom to get her involved, and she has been calling Scott too and saying a baptism is more important than an anniversary. We can celebrate anytime, but her baby will only be baptized once and that's the only weekend it can happen.

Maybe we're making too big a deal out of it, but I have been waiting 5 years to celebrate an anniversary with Scott. We never did the dating "anniversaries" that my friends all seem to do. I always told him we will have anniversaries when we are married!!! Those are what count. We have the top teir of our wedding cake in the freezer to eat that day, and we saved the bottle of champagne from our wedding night to open on our first anniversary. We don't technically have concrete plans to do other things that day, but I just really really do not want to spend it with my in-laws. I want a private weekend at home with my husband to celebrate our first year of marriage. But his family is not budging.

Ugh.

[Janet]

You don't really have to budge either. I think your feelings of your first anniversary are justified. If it's really not that important to the two of you to be the Godparents to this little girl, then tell them your very first anniversary is a very important day for you and that you want to celebrate it in a special way. If it is important to you to be the Godparents, then it becomes their special day and you must do it on that date. You will have to think it over more and decide which is the most important to you.

[Lindsey]

Thanks Janet. We do want to be her Godparents. I just wish it could be another weekend. Why not June? Why not August? She is on maternity leave for a year, and her husband works 14 days, and has 7 days off, all year long. It's not like they are busy every weekend for the next YEAR! I feel like they picked that day just to make things difficult for us. Why did they ask in the first place to tell them which weekends we are free, if they only had one option from the beginning?

In July, the baby will be not even three months old. My brother and I were not baptized until we were a year old. I don't think there is any reason it HAS to happen in July. They are also not religious AT ALL. They do not go to church, ever. To them, it is not even a factor of the baptism itself, I don't think, as much as travelling to their hometown to show off their baby in church to all of their parents' friends and to the community.

They knew that date was our anniversary, but Scott said his sister will always get her way, because she always has. Everyone does what she wants. And since they are travelling further than us, they can set whichever date they want.

Maybe I should just let it go. We can celebrate the next weekend, when we are married for one year and one week.

[Blueyes]

Maybe you could get a nice hotel room and take your cake and champagne with you??

[Lindsey]

Good thinking Betsi Scott just suggested that too. We will have to see if his parents are okay to watch the dogs for a night. I'm apprehensive to leave them overnight, but we will be leaving them there for a week in November so it could be a short trial run.