Southern Football vs Northern Football

[magnolia]

To celebrate football season!! Oh and......ROLL TIDE

Subject: Southern Football vs Northern Football

> Women's Accessories:
> NORTH: ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
> SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara,
> and a fifth of Captain Morgan/Crown. Money is not necessary - that's
> what dates are for.
>
> Stadium Size:
> NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20, 000 people.
> SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20, 000 people.
>
> Campus Decor:
> NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
> SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.
>
> Homecoming Queen:
> NORTH: Also physics major.
> SOUTH: Also Miss America.
>
> Cheerleaders:
> NORTH: If you are slightly coordinated, you make the varsity squad.
> SOUTH: You begin cheer camp at age two, complete with ballet, dance,
> & gymnastic training.
>
> Getting Tickets:
> NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on
> campus and purchase tickets.
> SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on
> campus & put name on the waiting list.
>
> Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
> NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game,
> because they have classes on Friday.
> SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to see
> the few hung-over students that might actually make it to class.
>
> Parking:
> NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for
> game parking.
> SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday
> for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.
>
> Game Day:
> NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
> SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes
> over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera
> and wave to the idiots up north.
>
> Tailgating:
> NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local
> radio station with truck tailgate down.
> SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking
> accompanied by live performance by "Dave Matthews' Band, " who comes
> over during breaks and asks for a hit off bottle of bourbon.
>
> Getting to the Stadium:
> NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in.
> SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes
> the state's third largest city.
>
> Concessions:
> NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
> SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup with the home team's mascot on
> it, filled less than halfway with soda, to ensure enough room for
> Captain Morgan/Crown.
>
> When National Anthem is played:
> NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.
> SOUTH: 100, 000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.
>
> The Smell in the Air after the First Score:
> NORTH: Nothing changes.
> SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of Captain Morgan/Crown.
>
> Commentators
> NORTH: "Nice play."
> SOUTH: D at mmit, you slow sumbi$$h - tackle him and break his legs!
>
> Commentary (Female):
> NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
> SOUTH: D at mmit, you slow sumbi$$h - tackle him and break his legs! Umm...this would be ME at a football game - even high school!
>
> Announcers:
> NORTH: Neutral and paid.
> SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a
> tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.
>
> After the Game:
> NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
> SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker. While somebody goes
> to the nearest package store for more bourbon; planning begins for
> next week's game.

[Kimberley]

Roflmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, so true!! and BTW Hook 'EM Horns!!!!

[RLC12345678]

LOVES IT!!!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR EAGLE! HEY! (sorry, had to do it)