My turn to vent......

[DianaB]

I'm going to try and keep this short but it's actually been a very long and fustrating friendship.

Glen and I are friendly at church and often take new couples out to eat when they come. We made friends with a couple that we ended up being friends with......not close friends. Anyway, they've just gone through a very, very messy divorce.......one with wife battering, police, and upset kids. Glen and I have really tried to help the wife, Jody. She's gone to nursing school and has been working and supporting herself and the two kids that live with her.

Every time she has a problem in her life she calls us.....yelling, beligerent, very dramatic....and it's not just once a day...it's all day long!! Yesterday she decided that she's moving back to Kansas City where she came from. I don't know how many phone calls we had from her and then she talked a woman into driving with her to another town to get a U-haul and wanted us to drive her to KC today. I've seen how she moves before and it's just things thrown in a box and it takes more time because you have to wait for her to do it. Glen finally talked her out of getting a U-haul and waiting a day. (Today wasn't a good day for us to move her anyway.) Oh, BTW, we have a corner of our basement filled with her stuff that's been there for a year.....and we had to sprayed for roaches as we brought it in....YUCK!!!

Jody called me last night to let me know that she was NOT out of control and that she had everything planned out. I told her that she had better have everything packed and ready to go or Glen would be mad. I also told her that she had better have a storage unit ready because we weren't going to be happy if we had to drive around all day looking for one.

I'm so ready for her to move......we only get calls when she's really depressed and she hints around for money. Our church is very giving and they bought her a car after her divorce which we helped with. I'm in trouble with her because I haven't stopped by, but she had a boyfriend that she was drinking with. She doesn't make good decisions with her life and is soooo dramatic whenever there's a problem. Her family won't have anything to do with her.....she can't keep a job.....and she can't keep friends. I am so ready for her to move. Sorry that this is long...there is sooo much more that I could say about what we've been through with her but you'd be reading all day long about it.

[DianaB]

Glen went by to talk to the woman who went to get the U-haul with Jody yesterday and then by to see Jody. He called to say that the move to KC is canceled because the girl that she was going to stay with isn't going to work out. He said that she's very depressed and he was taking her to go and talk to our Pastor. I'm not sure exactly how this is going to end up.

Jody has until the 20th to get out of her house because she hasn't paid rent for 3 months and she lives in one of the cheapest houses around to rent. I do feel sorry for her but still agravated too.

[Blueyes]

It just sounds like a big mess, Diana. Careful...she might want to move in with you

Some people thrive on drama...maybe she is one of them. Jesus does tell us to help other people all we can, and that is just what you and Glen are doing. I hope the pastor has some good suggestions. Does she have any family?

[Shada]

Be careful Diana. There is a reason she can't keep a job or friends. There is just so much you can do for someone. Especially someone with a bad track record. Its one thing to help someone who needs help, another thing to help someone who expects it, and is demanding.
Sadly, she does sound like someone I would want to distance myself from.
I would ask her kindly to come get her stuff. Explain you just can't keep her things any longer.
I feel bad for you being put in this situation. Good luck! And be strong.

[judy]

I really can understand your frustration Diana. You and Glen are very caring and giving people, but she sounds like a user of people. She is very lucky that you are in her life, but it does sound like she is quite self destructive. These people drag people down into their dramas with them.

Please be careful because she can make you sick from stress and negativity. Sometimes, I think it is more caring to let go of helping and let God take care of those who seem to be so lost. She certainly needs to find God in her life, and she may have to reach bottom to do that. It may be just what she needs so that she can climb back up.

[DianaB]

You guys have her pegged!!! I've known her for probably a year and a half so I've dealt with all kinds of things with her. I'm very careful around her because I've been through so much.

Plans have changed and we're taking her and her stuff to KC tomorrow. Glen's loading the stuff that we have in the basement tonight and she has strick orders to have the other stuff ready in the morning. I'll be surprised if she's ready though because she wasted today with her drama. Glen went by and she was all dramatic so he took her to see our Pastor. They listened to her talk nonstop. After she was done she mentioned that she DID have a place to go......her son said that she could move in with him and his girlfriend. Glen wasn't happy that she didn't mention that earlier. Anyway....he took her home and she tried to have Glen take her two dogs......but he told her no.....so she called Pastor and asked if the church could give her $300 for her to pay a deposit where her son is living at for the dogs!!!! Whew!!!! Glen was NOT happy about that!!!

Glen thinks that everything is all planned out and we'll have her up there and unloaded in no time.......but I don't believe it!!! There will be problems.......like I said "I've been through so much" with her!!!!

We are trying to do what we think God would want us to and have been trying to do that all along but this has really been hard. I've had a really good lesson out of this. If nothing else it makes me appreciate my friends and family so much more!! I don't know how people live with all the drama in their lives. Thank you, God, for my nice peaceful life!!!!

[judy]

She asked the pastor for $300???? The church gave her a car already. At least she does go to church though.

I hope it goes as smoothly as possible for Glen today when he moves her. Is KC far away from you? That would be good!

[DianaB]

She WENT to church. The church gave her the car after her divorce so she had good transportation to work and back. I think that she came to church ONCE after that. We talked about that a couple of days ago but she swore that she came for 2 or 3 months but I know that's not right because I was looking for her. She didn't like any other churches in town and she wouldn't come to church because her ex-husband was coming. It's a mess!!!

Glen, Damon, and Glen's brother, Mark, are already in there loading up stuff. I think that we're buying her washer, dryer, and refrigerator. Maybe one of the kids could use them.

Judy, KC is probably a three hour drive from here. I live in southeast Kansas and it's in the northeast corner...so it will be a drive.

Glen said that he's just going to consider today a day for us....that after we unload Jody then we're just going to have fun together and he has a nice place picked out for supper!! That helps to make the day better!!!

[Blueyes]

Your hubby is a sweet guy, Diana!

I just hate it when people use a church to get help and then just move on. I bet she finds a new one and does the exact same thing!

Anyway, I hope you and Glen have a nice afternoon together!

[DianaB]

Yesterday didn't start out very good. Glen went in first with the truck and trailer and I came in later. I guess that she didn't hardly have anything in a box when Glen got there. They were able to load the things that we bought from her except for the dryer (oh, and we bought her airconditioner too) and they took them to Damon's garage. She was using the dryer so they came and got it later.

By the time I got there she was wandering around the house picking up this and that and throwing it in boxes......except for the clothes, which were thrown in big trash bags....dirty and some clean. It was a HUGE mess!!! The house smelled like a big litter box and was soooo dirty!!! Jody tried to blame it on her depression but it's gone downhill ever since she moved in. I went to help but I didn't know what to do so I ended up going to Dae Lynn's and held the baby!!!

We finally left town at 11:30 and got there around 3:30. She didn't have any trouble renting a storage unit so we had to unload everything and Glen got it packed in all nice and neat. Then we had to find her son because he had his school computer and we need to take it back to the school. Then we went to another son's apartment, where she's staying and unloaded the few things that were in the truck. We didn't stay long because we were soooo ready to be gone!!

We stopped at Bass Pro and looked around. I found a really nice shirt and necklace to match. Then we ate at a wonderful steakhouse!!!! The visit going up with Glen was nice. We really tried to not think about how aggravated we were at Jody and to just have a nice time together!!! Glen did say that "this is the last time we move her!!!" We ended up getting home last night around 11:30!!!

Now Glen has to go to Jody's house and try to catch 3 cats. He's really not looking forward to going back in there!!! Guess that we'll add three cats to our farm!!!

[Janet]

Wow.....because I love you so much I am so thankful that she is gone and you won't have to deal with this person. I think you've gone above and beyond for this Jody and now it's time for her to take care of herself. Sometimes when we think we are helping...we are somewhat, but we are also enabling.

Now you can think of her good qualities and put the bad your mind. I'm so in awe of what you did for her Diana....you are such a wonderful person.

[judy]

It is good that she is with her son. He can take care of her now. You and Glen are such wonderful people. I am so encouraged by your relationship. That is what I want in my life, and I love hearing about you and Glen.

Jody is so fortunate that she had you in her life. I hope she figures that out one day, and gets herself to church for real.

[DianaB]

Thanks for the compliments. Glen and I do try to do what God wants us to do. We tried with Jody....it just seemed like her problems were to big for us to know what to do....but we were there for her in so many ways.

Glen is a big hearted person and so kind and loving. He works with the Royal Ranger (like Boy Scouts) in our church and has for years. I wish that you could see how he cares for each of the boys. He also does so much in our church and is loved by probably everyone!! Glen's also a great husband and we do try to work together on things.....I'm not going to say that we don't have our problems and that everything's perfect but compared to what I see in other men....I consider myself very blessed!!

Judy, if you could find a man like my husband, you would be one of the luckiest women on earth!!! I hope that kind of man comes into your life!!!

[paula1961]

Oh my goodness Diana. I hadn't seen this thread until now. I am so sorry that you and Glen have had to deal with this woman for so long. She sounds like a person who just uses everybody that she can! I am glad that she has moved away and maybe you guys won't have to deal with her again. Like Judy said...let her kids take care of her or better yet....she needs to be taking care of herself!

I know you feel like you're doing what God wants you to do, but I think God only expects us to take so much stress from others and then we should move on away from them if their not doing anything to help themselves.

[judy]

Originally Posted by DianaB

Thanks for the compliments. Glen and I do try to do what God wants us to do. We tried with Jody....it just seemed like her problems were to big for us to know what to do....but we were there for her in so many ways.

Glen is a big hearted person and so kind and loving. He works with the Royal Ranger (like Boy Scouts) in our church and has for years. I wish that you could see how he cares for each of the boys. He also does so much in our church and is loved by probably everyone!! Glen's also a great husband and we do try to work together on things.....I'm not going to say that we don't have our problems and that everything's perfect but compared to what I see in other men....I consider myself very blessed!!

Judy, if you could find a man like my husband, you would be one of the luckiest women on earth!!! I hope that kind of man comes into your life!!!

Thanks Diana! I hope so too