Eat Disorders

[RLC12345678]

I was watching Boston Legal last night and one of the cases was about a daughter who had an eating disorder. Her point of view was very interesting and she referred to herself and people like her as "Pro Ana," which stands for pro-anorexia. Does anyone here suffer from an eating disorder or do any of your children have eating disorders? I know my very best friend in the whole world used to suffer from anorexia. It was a hard battle for her to overcome.

[Lindsey]

I have not had to deal with it, but I've definitely been accused of it! I'm very very skinny, my chest is kind of boney, but that's just how I've always been. I eat 3, sometimes even 4 meals a day, plus I snack all day in between. My boyfriend says I have "spaghetti arms". In high school I used to get really hurt when I heard that my best friends were telling people I was anorexic. I even just found out from my little cousins two years ago that my grandma told the whole family that I was anorexic!

[DianaB]

I've never been around anyone with an eating disorder, but my daughter (14 yrs) worries about a few girls at school. They don't eat hardly anything for lunch, but they're not losing weight. I think that maybe it's for attention. I ask her about them from time to time and if she thinks that there's a problem I'll call the parents.

[blowry]

I am 49 yrs "young"...I went through a divorce about 10 yrs ago...before my divorce I went to Diet Workshop...I lost 67 lbs and started excersing....EVERYDAY! I joined a gym which, helped me with the stress of the divorce (I had been married for nearly 20 yrs and I have to wonderful daughters). I started aerobics, running, and lifting weights...I was looking pretty ripped...if I don't say so my self! LOL....However...people were asking me if I was sick...I didn't think I looked that thin at all...matter of fact I would see myself in a mirror and thought I still looked heavy...When I was younger and in high school I was never a big person..the weight only came on (and stayed) once I started having children...so that being said...I think people were so used to seeing me overweight that once I lost weight they thought I looked too thin...I had to quit the gym because I just couldn't afford to go anymore once I was single but, continued to exercise..I would totally FREAK if I gained a pound...I don't know why but, I started to purge myself...I would eat something (even if it wasn't fattening) and then I would get rid of it...My oldest daughter was outside the bathroom one day and heard me.(I didn't know she was in the house..tried to keep this away from EVERYBODY). This went on for a couple of months when I watched a program on TV about bulimia (I knew what it was but ...I would NEVER be like that!! WRONG! I was like that...I talked to my Mom about this and with my families help got through it...Kinda drove me insane though...God forbid if I had to go to the bathroom after eating...you could have heard a pin drop! They were listening...Thank God for them....God only knows what would have happened if I had continued...I NEVER talk about this to ANYONE. This happened 10 yrs ago and this is the first time I have ever told anybody...other than my Mom.

[Janet]

I've never known anyone with a eating disorder that I know of. The only disorder I have is OVER EATING. Not sure whether it is actually me, I do know I eat to feel good sometimes, or if it is also partly the thyroid. I'll know more when I find out the results of my test on Thursday morning.

[Marilyn]

Wow, Brenda, and you told us. So wonderful that you recovered and are here with us to share your story.

I don't know anyone personally with an eating disorder. I was really thin for a while a few years ago, and had even a couple of doctors ask me if I was anorexic. I wasn't, just went through a low weight phase. Age took care of that problem. Now instead of working to keep weight on, I work to keep it off.

[blowry]

Originally Posted by Marilyn

Wow, Brenda, and you told us. So wonderful that you recovered and are here with us to share your story.

I don't know anyone personally with an eating disorder. I was really thin for a while a few years ago, and had even a couple of doctors ask me if I was anorexic. I wasn't, just went through a low weight phase. Age took care of that problem. Now instead of working to keep weight on, I work to keep it off.

Thank you Marilyn! I gained back just about half of the weight that I lost...I am now working on taking it off...but, I won't get out of control this time..and,,,going through the change doesn't help with weight loss..

[Miss_Sara]

I suffered from an eating disorder for a LONG time
It started in like elementary school which is pretty sad
to be honest it's something I don't think I'll be able to completely lose
it's like a part of me
everytime I think "I'm hungry" there's always that thought "well you better not eat"
when I was 13 I weighed like 78 lbs. which wasn't healthy at all
even though I'm really small and tiny (mainly from poor nutrition when I was a baby) I was still ridiculously under weight
the whole family must've realised
but when I entered highschool I had a seriously supportive group around me (show choir) and I gained like 10 lbs and was healthy, and my family would tell me how I had gained weight and how I should be careful (my response was, finally snapping and telling them to back off)

I feel so bad for girls suffering from this, because it is a hard habit to break if you have it for years. I just hope this doesn't become a "life style" choice
because that's a load of crap
it is a disease, and you can get SO sick from it!!!
I know I've talked a few girls out of it, so if any of your kids have the problem, I'm young (18) so you should just give me a way to contact them so I can help them!!
Don't ignore this if your child has it!

[Gina]

Originally Posted by Miss_Sara

I suffered from an eating disorder for a LONG time
It started in like elementary school which is pretty sad
to be honest it's something I don't think I'll be able to completely lose
it's like a part of me
everytime I think "I'm hungry" there's always that thought "well you better not eat"
when I was 13 I weighed like 78 lbs. which wasn't healthy at all
even though I'm really small and tiny (mainly from poor nutrition when I was a baby) I was still ridiculously under weight
the whole family must've realised
but when I entered highschool I had a seriously supportive group around me (show choir) and I gained like 10 lbs and was healthy, and my family would tell me how I had gained weight and how I should be careful (my response was, finally snapping and telling them to back off)

I feel so bad for girls suffering from this, because it is a hard habit to break if you have it for years. I just hope this doesn't become a "life style" choice
because that's a load of crap
it is a disease, and you can get SO sick from it!!!
I know I've talked a few girls out of it, so if any of your kids have the problem, I'm young (18) so you should just give me a way to contact them so I can help them!!
Don't ignore this if your child has it!

Sara.. What are the signs to look for? My daughter is 19 yrs old and has been away at college for two years now. She is tall and was pursing modeling at one time and whenever we went out to the city the modeling agencies would tell her she is pretty but she needs to lose at least 10 pds. Now mind you my daughter was never heavy. So I discouraged her from that career. Over the years while she was in high school I think she had a problem, she never ate with us at night always running out, her friends swore up and down that she ate. Today she eats but she does eat lots of salads and healthy foods. She does a lot of excersizing. But to be honest she gets mad at me when I always ask her if she ate. Always has. She does get her menstrual cycle on time and her teeth are pretty , they say that is the first tell tale. I get worried but I don't know how I can reach her, she says she eats and I can't be a policeman 24/7..

[Miss_Sara]

bad teeth, hair falling out, and missing periods are not really the first signs, except maybe missing periods. the rest can take a while. and you wouldn't really notice anyways if she was having a little thinner hair and such. Even if you really tried to remember.
I don't want to jump to conclusions but to be honest it sounds like she might be anorexic, especially since she never eats dinner with you and always leaves. If her friends say she eats, that might mean that they might be anorexic and support her, or that she is lying to them and complaining about how people say she doesn't eat (to throw them off, and complaining about how you bug her of course, normal),or she got pissed off when they said something to her and told them that she'll eat if they don't tell you.
the salads and exercising if you're already thin is pretty much obvious. This is what I would do when I stayed at my friends house for a summer, my friends would be like "you never eat!" (and this would sometimes cause my blood sugar to get so low that I'd be shaking and near fainting) and when they got really annoying I'd eat something that is a CATABOLIC food. These are foods where you burn more calories then you eat, and some of them aren't very obvious. like tuna. I'd eat some tuna and then I'd go swimming for an hour to make sure I burned every single calorie. After a while I got used to having to eat in front of them so I was on this serious catabolic food diet and lost a LOT of weight that way, so anyone who actually wants to lose weight, research that, it's great, and has some yummy foods.
OF COURSE she gets mad if you ask if she ate, idk if your daughter still is now, but I think she definitly was in highschool. Also not eating tends to make you angry, idk, I guess because you are already stressed, and not eating makes you EXHAUSTED, but then you keep exercising so you don' talways look as tired as you are. Imagine how angry you'd be if you were trying to keep a secret and your mom kept butting in? Even if it IS for her own good!

I hope that your daughter isn't anorexic, I really do. But when obesity growing, so is anorexia, definitly. Girls are TERRIFIED of being fat, I mean scared to tears. I've seen girls cry, not because they've gained weight, but because they were afraid of looking like their mothers, or aunts, or whomever.

does your daughter have a myspace? if so I can just randomly contact her and chat her up, and of course I wont say anything about you. I would never do that, but I can just ask her if she's anorexic, and she'll probablly tell the truth to an online stranger that she thinks she can confide in. This is "an invasion of privacy" or whatever, but idk, I think it's different when it comes to health.

love you and support to you, there's definitly a possiblity your daughter isn't anorexic at all!!! Don't read TOO into things.

(and because she's 19 she can choose not to get help)

[Miss_Sara]

I think I'll post a little things about some of the first signs that your daughter (or son!) might be anorexic.
-loss of hair, check the drain and when you take out the trash to see if there is an abundance.
-lighter, shorter, or non existent menstrual cycle
-excuses at dinner (too much homework, just ate, not hungry, sick, etc.)
-more illness. when you don't eat you get sick a lot more
-much more irritable and touchy
-TIRED
-exercising often
-spending more time alone in their room (or on the internet, do you know the internet is like the gateway to tips on how to be anorexic, it's disgusting to see some of these "pro-ana" sites)
-spending more time simply out.

but some of these can simply be PMS as well!

I think the best way to prevent this from happening, or stop it when it's early, is to simply let your daughter eat healthier, say "hey, we should start eating healthier together" (you'll probablly have to cook a different meal for your husband lol). Eating healthy isn't anorexia. So if you pick out some healthy low cal foods you want to try, and tell your daughter that you think you should both try a new diet, she may accept it and see that if she eats healthy she wont gain weight!

[RLC12345678]

Originally Posted by Miss_Sara

I think I'll post a little things about some of the first signs that your daughter (or son!) might be anorexic.
-loss of hair, check the drain and when you take out the trash to see if there is an abundance.
-lighter, shorter, or non existent menstrual cycle
-excuses at dinner (too much homework, just ate, not hungry, sick, etc.)
-more illness. when you don't eat you get sick a lot more
-much more irritable and touchy
-TIRED
-exercising often
-spending more time alone in their room (or on the internet, do you know the internet is like the gateway to tips on how to be anorexic, it's disgusting to see some of these "pro-ana" sites)
-spending more time simply out.

but some of these can simply be PMS as well!

I think the best way to prevent this from happening, or stop it when it's early, is to simply let your daughter eat healthier, say "hey, we should start eating healthier together" (you'll probablly have to cook a different meal for your husband lol). Eating healthy isn't anorexia. So if you pick out some healthy low cal foods you want to try, and tell your daughter that you think you should both try a new diet, she may accept it and see that if she eats healthy she wont gain weight!

This is AWESOME advice, Sara!!!!!! My neighbor growing up was bulemic and her mom found out and they started attending Weight Watchers classes together. When my friend saw that she could eat healthy and not gain weight (like you said) then she quit being bulemic.

[DianaB]

Thanks Sara for posting the signs to watch for and your great advice.

[Willow]

My cousin was anorexic for a long time. Then she married this control freak, which turned out to be a blessing! He MADE her eat. This doesn't work for everyone, but it did for her. Unfortunately, she did lose all her teeth from malnourishment. But she has gained some weight and is looking healthier all the time. She recently had baby number six and has been battling some other health issues not related to her eating disorder. She had a c-section and now has a staph in fection in her incision and her dr will not treat it. It is almost to the point of her dying.

[RLC12345678]

Originally Posted by Willow

My cousin was anorexic for a long time. Then she married this control freak, which turned out to be a blessing! He MADE her eat. This doesn't work for everyone, but it did for her. Unfortunately, she did lose all her teeth from malnourishment. But she has gained some weight and is looking healthier all the time. She recently had baby number six and has been battling some other health issues not related to her eating disorder. She had a c-section and now has a staph in fection in her incision and her dr will not treat it. It is almost to the point of her dying.

OMG! This is so aweful!!!!!!!!! I sure do hope she gets better soon! I am sure she is sick after her c-section bc her immune system is compromised from malnourishment. ((((((hugs!))))) to you, her and her family.